Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children playing out in the street

59 replies

dunfightin · 07/09/2017 21:27

At the start of the summer holidays, all the kids on our street began playing out together. Different ages, but mostly primary with a couple of early secondary kids but lovely mix of ages and a couple of different schools - from year 2 upwards.
As parents we have kept an eye on them collectively but at a distance. It's a quiet side street in suburban very family orientated area. We think it's lovely that they get chance to work out how to play collectively and work out rules between themselves.
A couple of the neighbours object, including oddly one of whom has a toddler.
Kids are playing, laughing and occasionally shouting but all normal volume but neighbours want to come home to peace and quiet.
So are we being unreasonable to say it's ok that kids play out after school? As one of the DCs said it's my human right to play on the street it's my childhood.
Should agree times or ask them to be in when the childless come in from work around 6pm?
As another parent said it'll soon stop as nights draw in and weather gets worse.
Apparently someone on the street also contacted the police - Confused.
Um not anti-social behaviour or excessive noise. Am now drinking

OP posts:
Greyhorses · 08/09/2017 08:46

I don't mind playing but sometimes I don't think parents realise how annoying the screaming, screeching and constant ball throwing really is. It's 'cute' when it's your child but not when it's someone else's and all you want to do is relax after a 10 hour shift.

The ones outside my house scream non stop until 8-9pm every single night.

So I suppose it depends if your being honest about the volume or not!

Sandsnake · 08/09/2017 08:50

Our road has lots of kids playing out and I think it's great. They occasionally bring my under 2 yo DS into their gang and he charges around with them and they look after him so sweetly (with me watching the whole time). They play at a reasonable volume level - not much in the way of screaming etc and it's all very nice.

Definitely don't stop the kids from playing. That said, its important that they understand that other people have 'rights' too; it's never too young to learn about neighbourliness and consideration. Tell them your neighbours value quiet and therefore it is the right thing to avoid making unnecessary noise.

museumum · 08/09/2017 08:55

I have a pre school child and I'd want kids to be heading into their own homes between 6&7 otherwise my child will never be able to sleep.

As a child we didn't play out after dinner on a school night.

sparklediamonds · 08/09/2017 08:56

You let your baby out into the road with a group of children? Shock

AJPTaylor · 08/09/2017 09:01

As long as they are not schreeching and vary where they play then it should be ok

EdmundCleverClogs · 08/09/2017 09:12

Kids playing out is fine, as long as it's not excessively disturbing the peace of other neighbours. Ball games after about 8.30/9pm for example, or shouting/screeching when playing tag and such. Also being respectful of properties - kids on our street have no care for going carefully past cars when on bikes/scooters. There have been a few 'incidents' of scratches, including to one visitor to our house's car. The parents just think it's 'kids being kids', I wonder sometimes how much they delude themselves just to get the kids from under feet.

So mostly I agree, however the 'it's my human right to play outside', urgh, what a precocious child. You have to wonder where they get such entitled ideas from, awful attitude.

GerdaLovesLili · 08/09/2017 09:30

I'd also add that unrelated older children shouldn't be used as baby minders for toddlers who are far two young to be out playing in the middle of the road without adult supervision.

Our older children are now all allowed to go to the park next door as long as they stay within sight of the houses overlooking it. I was horrified the other day to find the tiny toddler (just walking) from number 5, on is own pushing his sister's scooter up and down the middle of the road with none of the adults from the family anywhere to be seen. (I returned him to his house). Then later he appeared next to me while I was gardening (out of sight of his house)... His parents told me they expected our children to "keep an eye" on him. No. You and your family are responsible for your child, and now most of the children are old enough to play out on their own without constant supervision you're jolly lucky that an adult was about to protect him.

Aridane · 08/09/2017 09:32

So are we being unreasonable to say it's ok that kids play out after school? As one of the DCs said it's my human right to play on the street it's my childhood.

What a precocious prat!

Should agree times or ask them to be in when the childless come in from work around 6pm?

What an unnecessary way to refer to people without children.

Had you phrased you the OP differently, I would have said YANBU. However, given the language you use / the slant of your post, I suspect that the reality is that YABU

Witchend · 08/09/2017 09:35

I thought you were being totally reasonable until your update but this:
All got a bit heated as various parents and some of the kids put some of the points such as fact that grumpy adults probably enjoyed the freedom of being out when they were younger.
It was quite funny when one of the DCs put the point about her human right to enjoy her childhood.
Makes me suspect that the children are being more of a pain than I would have thought from your initial description.
Children who "know their rights" and express them like that are generally pretty obnoxious and usually encouraged by their doting parents who think they are so clever.

ElizabethShaw · 08/09/2017 09:39

Playing out is fine, but I'd bring them in for tea about 6pm and stay in after that.

MycatsaPirate · 08/09/2017 09:39

We live in a cul-de-sac in a very quiet area. All the rest of the estate is bungalows with retired people but this tiny cul-de-sac is 3 bed houses and it's teeming with kids all summer.

It's lovely.

And yes, all the little ones play out too, supervised by parents from the garden but it's very much a case of just letting them all run up and down, on scooters, bikes, playing with chalk on the pavement, blowing bubbles, pushing toy prams up and down.

The age ranges from 11 down to about 3. It's really nice that the older ones (including my DD who is 11) takes time to talk to the little ones, they are all learning about interacting with different ages and it's funny when the 3 year old shouts over our fence to me 'Pirate! Can DD come out to play!?'.

Where we used to live the old lady across the road was a miserable woman who would shout at DD and her friend just for standing on the pavement outside her house. Because they may damage the fence. They were just standing there. They were 9 years old ffs. We lived opposite but this woman expected both girls to go and play down the road away from her house. She was so precious over her fucking hedge and fence and yet my DD has never damaged a hedge or fence in her life.

I'm glad that this road (which also has some old residents) is more than happy for the kids to be out playing.

sooperdooper · 08/09/2017 09:45

In our street the kids 'play' out until 8-9pm every night - which generally seems to involve screaming, shouting and kicking balls at parked cars and people's doors and windows. After they get the kids in the parents then stand in the street screeching at each other until gone 12

It's bloody annoying, I want some peace and quiet when I've been at work all day, but apparently we're the anti social ones Angry

People have no concept of how loud/annoying their kids are imo and other people have a right to some quiet time!

TBH we're moving house, and this is part of the reason why, it's really inconsiderate & self centered to make constant noise in the street

sooperdooper · 08/09/2017 09:46

Oops I meant the parents until gone 11, typo!!!

Sandsnake · 08/09/2017 10:33

Sparkled - yep, though he's a toddler not a baby. And very occasionally, for five minutes or so in our quiet cul-de-sac with me right there too. He runs around with them shouting and they love acting like grown up kids and looking after him. It's very cute and totally safe so no need to worry...Wink

TheNaze73 · 08/09/2017 10:41

I'd much rather children running about & playing as children, getting exercise then the thought of them stuck on a tablet, not moving & getting enough exercise

AnnPerkins · 08/09/2017 10:56

YANBU

Everybody has the right to use their street, even children. As long as they're considerate.

And there's no need to be rude about a child for making one possibly tongue-in-cheek remark about their 'human rights'.

Original poster
dunfightin · 08/09/2017 10:57

The child in question didn't say it to the adult. I just thought it was funny and it echoes parents' feeling that they do only have one childhood and the luck to live on a quiet side street with children who are roughly the same age. And the 'grumpy' was how a PP referred to the other adults.
No ball games, and parents do tell them to keep the noise down. I guess we had all talked to each other as the playing out developed and intervene if they do things that can be seen as annoying.
Lots of people have said great when they've seen them playing and we have asked various neighbours when we've seen them. I hadn't seen these ones over the past few weeks and so made a point of asking but was surprised by their reaction being so strong. It's raining badly today so it'll be a TV night in all events

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 08/09/2017 11:04

As one of the DCs said it's my human right to play on the street it's my childhood.

No it isn't a 'human right* Hmm

I just thought it was funny

Righto.

EdmundCleverClogs · 08/09/2017 11:09

The child in question didn't say it to the adult - that's not the point really, and I wouldn't find my child saying that 'funny', I'd be embarrassed by their attitude.

Instead of thinking they have some special 'rights' because they are children, perhaps they should understand about compromise. 'One childhood' doesn't equate to special privileges, though obviously compromising works both ways.

Ttbb · 08/09/2017 11:11

We have a huge problem with children playing where I live. Their parents just dump them on the street, they don't even watch the way you do. There are constantly bikes/scooters left all over the place. Small children run out onto the road in front of cars without warning. One child in particular has anger problems and yells every now and then. It's unsightly, it's a pain in the arse, it's quite dangerous-quite a lot of cars, bendy roads and lots of cars parked on the street and poor visibility-but what are you going to do? The parents a bit selfish/stupid for letting their children out like that (all the houses have gardens so children could easily play in each other's gardens) but you can't really force them to take better care of their children.

Mulch · 08/09/2017 11:13

Go one step further and organise a street party Grin

spanielsgaze · 08/09/2017 11:15

I'm all for kids playing out, bit perturbed by the "human rights" kid. Sign of the times i suppose, everyone thinks it's their "human right" to do anything. Kids learning it from parents.....No wonder a lot of kids run riot if that's what they think.

Abra1d · 08/09/2017 11:16

You let your baby out into the road with a group of children? shock

Perhaps read that post again, Sparkling. Nothing for you to worry about.

Mine used to play out as toddlers and I didn't follow on their heels but kept an eye out and trusted the older children to let me know if anything wasn't right.

ElizabethShaw · 08/09/2017 11:49

Lots of schools are "Rights Respecting Schools" these days and many/most children will learn about human rights and the convention on the rights of the child (including the right to play) at school.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 08/09/2017 11:50

including the right to play

There is no human right to play in the street.