Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

AIBU stranger park

45 replies

smith86 · 07/09/2017 17:48

So I'm visiting NT property with park. I'm feeding DS 12 weeks old and my DD who is just two is playing in front of me we are on our own, enclosed and safe in the playground but. Family come in with approx 7 year old I'm presuming mum, dad and grandparents.
Now AIBU ... the what I'm presuming to be the mum picked my daughter up on her own accord and started helping her across these wooden stepping stone things. Then when she did that ten minutes later she picked her up again helping her across some higher stone things. My daughter wasn't near them and didn't ask for help. Then I'm presuming the grandad lifted her up on this large wooden Apple thing. Then I had enough as made me feel really uncomfortable I put baby down and got DD and said we got to go home as I need to cook dinner. I know they were probably absolutely harmless but it made me feel really uncomfortable and I've never felt like that before with my children.
Question is AIBU to think you don't just pick up people's kids? It also made me think about when you start discussing stranger danger as in don't go off with adults!

OP posts:

user1493413286 · 07/09/2017 18:29

I wouldn't pick someone else's child up in a park and I think it's fair enough to be uncomfortable with it. It's different if she asked for their help or if their child is playing with yours but it doesn't sound like it in these circumstances.
Me and my OH were picking up our daughter to go on something in the park and a little girl she was playing with asked us to lift her too so we did but we also caught the eye of the mum who similed and called thanks

ParkheadParadise · 07/09/2017 18:29

Start a random thread on the internet asking strangers if you're being unreasonable, and then ignore anyone who says yes?
Totally agree

solarisIsAClassic · 07/09/2017 18:34

Lucky you were there OP. Your DD was about to be sold into gypsy slavery. Close shave!

BeccaAnn · 07/09/2017 18:55

it sounds like they just randomly picked her up and put her on stuff she wasn't playing with. that is pretty weird.

If she was trying to use the equipment, i'd have helped her once I'd figured out who mum/ dad was.

TheSnowFairy · 07/09/2017 19:47

Sheesh.

I would have been grateful, frankly.

You actually took your daughter home?

heresn0ddy · 07/09/2017 19:53

A family accompanying a child to the playground is hardly the same as a lone adult hanging around approaching kids.

They saw you were feeding the baby and thought they would help your child.

You need to calm down.

Walkinglikeazombie · 07/09/2017 20:05

OP you say your DD was just happily playing in front of you while you were feeding the baby. So did this presumed mum come to you and randomly picked your DD and placed her on the equipment? If so then that really is strange.

But is it possible that you were busy feeding baby and didn't see your DD struggling to get on to the equipment so the lady just helped her when she realised that you were there alone and busy? If it's more likely to be this scenario then sorry, YABU.

DaisysStew · 07/09/2017 20:08

I was at soft play today and there were a couple of kids there whose parents were having a coffee so not in the play area. I sat and played with them, helped them onto the slides etc (one was around 18mo the other 4ish, not together)... I didn't even consider that someone would get offended/upset by it. On the same note often I'll be at the park with DS and someone will help him, pick him up etc I see it as being friendly and thank them.

They were trying to be nice, really unnecessary to leave because of it.

Mittens1969 · 07/09/2017 20:51

I confess I would be very uncomfortable with it myself because of my own childhood trauma, so I get where you're coming from, OP. But it sounds like they were trying to be helpful, entertaining your DD while you were feeding your baby.

It would certainly freak me out too, and I do think it was inappropriate.

Halfsack · 07/09/2017 21:53

YABU.

Jaxhog · 07/09/2017 22:22

Woah! I wouldn't be happy with that.

My daughter wasn't near them and didn't ask for help Bit out of order, that.

I suspect they were just being nice, but I wouldn't do it without at least indicating to the mum to see if it was ok. What if they put her somewhere that scared her, or that she fell from? Or took her for a walk and didn't come back?

itusedtobeverydifferent · 07/09/2017 22:31

My child was playing on some high bars in a park, I lifted him to reach them. A little girl struggling asked me to help her too. I asked where her parents were, she pointed to a bench outside the main fenced area. I lifted her to help.

Was I BU?

itusedtobeverydifferent · 07/09/2017 22:32

Very odd if they randomly picked her up from a spot where she was happily playing, though, without being asked for help.

britbat23 · 08/09/2017 00:19

Definitely a family team of paedos out on a family paedo outing. They're everywhere these days.

BackforGood · 08/09/2017 00:37

YABU, and yes, in my opinion (as you asked for it) ridiculous.

A family out together, saw that you were feeding and unable to help your dd access various playthings, helped her right in front of your eyes and your response was to flounce, and stop your dd enjoying the fresh air and play things

Bobo17 · 08/09/2017 00:49

They were probably just being helpful but I think i would have felt uncomfy aswell.

BenLui · 08/09/2017 00:50

I've helped lift the odd child onto a swing, a chute or helped them onto a seesaw. I might especially help if the Mum was clearly dealing with a baby.

I certainly wouldn't walk across a park to interrupt a happily playing child and out her on something. That seems officious if that's what happened.

What I don't understand OP is why you didn't say anything the first time? Why not just call out "thanks but she's fine just leave her"?

Why allow them to haul her around for ten minutes without saying anything?

Leavingonajet · 08/09/2017 01:17

Stranger danger is for the most part a massive red herring, 75% plus of reported abuse cases are I seem to remember from people known to the child, either family members or people known socially in some way. You should warn your child about this first, start with the NSPCC, pants rules or pantasours. It is most unlikely that a family group would pose a risk to your child in front of your eyes unless you had been throughly groomed by them first. The truth is people you know and trust are more likely to pose a risk to your child and you aren't likely to think that they require any protecting from them at all.

NoProblemForMe · 08/09/2017 01:23

People are not being kind or helpful, basically just telling her she is wrong

I'm guessing you're a stranger in this neck of the woods (AIBU)

Luncharmstrong · 08/09/2017 01:28

They were being helpful

Flip

1 2