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How to get motivated? Feel like my own worst enemy sometimes 🙄

5 replies

MiniMacaron · 07/09/2017 16:58

Urgh feeling a bit down and not great at the moment. (Sorry this is going to be a long one, and is a bit jumbled as well).

I'm job-hunting at the moment and living with relatives while I try to find my feet. I had a tricky period last year when I resigned from a teacher training programme, and I'm still trying to move in from it and get myself into gear.

During the programme, I felt very down and went to see my GP. They referred me to phone counselling combined with an online CBT programme as it had a shorter waiting list than face-to-face counselling.

I started the CBT and phone counselling in January, before starting careers coaching (linked to the mental health support I was receiving) to help me with job-hunting. Both have been very helpful, but I'm not still not really getting anywhere with finding a full-time job. Feel so frustrated.

I've just had a review session with my phone counsellor, and feel a bit shit, to put it bluntly. I don't feel like I've improved at all. I feel bad for the counsellor (who's been absolutely lovely and very helpful), but I don't feel like the phone counselling set-up has been working for me.

I've now been referred to face-to-face counselling instead, which I think is going to really help.

In general, I reckon that spending time with friends and family/regular contact with them as well as having a structure and a routine in my day really helps my mental health.

The thing is, since I left the teacher training, there are a few people I'd love to get back into contact with but haven't (maybe because I feel a bit ashamed about my situation?) and I think it's getting me down. It's almost like I feel that I don't deserve to spend time with people I like because I'm not really working or doing anything useful with my life. Does that make sense? I know I need to stop telling myself this, but don't know how, especially as I think having a better social life would really improve my mental health and wellbeing, but it's like I just don't feel like I don't deserve it.

Im also trying to exercise regularly, as I'm sure this would help. Have signed up to a half-marathon with the relatives I'm living with but they're really busy, so haven't been able to train and I've nice idea where to get the motivation to train.

Tied into this is the job situation. I work part-time as a tutor. Although it's well-paid, it involves lots of freelance ad-hoc work rather than full-time work. I think a full-time job would be enormously useful in giving me structure, routine, a purpose, a network of colleagues and friends (hopefully) and obviously a regular income. I just can't seem to get anywhere with the job search. Through the careers counselling, I have a really good idea now of what kinds of jobs I'd like to apply for. I've now been for a few interviews, but have maybe felt under pressure and panicked, and have messed up.

For example, in a recent job interview, I waffled a bit when answering competency-related questions. In the interview feedback I had afterwards, the company mentioned that although they were impressed with how I did in the interview, this let me down.

Any ideas or suggestions please for how I can get my life back into gear?

Thanks so much.

OP posts:
MiniMacaron · 07/09/2017 17:01

Sorry, in the bit about running and exercise, it's meant to say: 'I've no idea where to get the motivation to train'.

OP posts:
MiniMacaron · 07/09/2017 17:17

Anyone?

OP posts:
MiniMacaron · 07/09/2017 18:32

Anyone with any advice please? I feel a bit better since writing the thread, but it's really been getting me down.

OP posts:
MiniMacaron · 07/09/2017 19:00

Bumping :)

OP posts:
Motherbear26 · 07/09/2017 19:06

I'm probably not the best person to advise you but didn't want to read and run.

Fwiw, I think you've 3 key objectives, the job, training for the race and getting back in touch with old friends. I think trying to do all of this at once is causing you stress and making it difficult to know where to start. I would prioritise and tackle one task at a time.

Depending on when the race is I'd be tempted to deal with that first. It doesn't require a great deal of mental energy and should hopefully help you to feel more relaxed. It's easy to say, but you just need to jump into the training. If you don't make time, you'll struggle on the day and you want to enjoy the race. Download a training plan that fits your timescale (a google search will bring up loads) and the amount of time you have spare to train each week and just get out there and do it. If you really struggle to train alone consider joining a running club. You'll meet tonnes of running buddies and get lots if great tips too! Once you've successfully completed the race, you'll feel more in control because you have achieved one of your objectives, then you can move onto the next one. Good luck.Flowers

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