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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not organise a bday party for my 5yr old daughter?

24 replies

just5morepeas · 06/09/2017 21:27

My daughter will be 6 at the beginning of October, and I'm unsure of what to do for her birthday.

Last year we had a party, invited her whole class to a soft play place. They loved it but it's not cheap.

This year it's getting a bit close to the date and I'm just not sure what to do. We could afford it but I'd rather not, they've just moved up to year one and she's with some different kids in her class so I wouldn't know who to invite - couldn't afford to invite whole class and her friends from old class.

We would still have a family party and cake etc, and are probably taking her to see the My Little Pony film when it's out but I feel bad.

Do other people just have family parties - rather than with the kids friends - for their younger kids?

OP posts:

Graceflorrick · 06/09/2017 21:29

What doesn't your DD want?

Graceflorrick · 06/09/2017 21:33

*does

Original poster

just5morepeas · 06/09/2017 21:36

She's said she wants a party, but that was only after a party was mentioned, she didn't ask for one unprompted which she did last year.

I don't think she'll actually be that bothered, she's really shy and quiet and I know she'll really enjoy the MLP film.

OP posts:

blueberrypie0112 · 06/09/2017 21:37

I only do parties for younger kids (4 or 5 years old).As they get older, less kids show up and feelings get hurt. I keep it simple with older kids (family plus a few close friends)

PuffinNose · 06/09/2017 21:38

What does your daughter want to do?
We tend to hire a hall and a bouncy castle. Child gets to invite whoever they wants because numbers don't matter so much and it doesn't matter who does/n't come.
Not too expensive (compaired to soft play etc).
Daughter has asked for this again this year although son has started talking about doing something else which we are trying to talk him out of!

HiJenny35 · 06/09/2017 21:40

If you can afford it Why don't you ask her, would you like to have a party or take a friend rob go and see the my little pony film and get a pizza after.

Comtesse · 06/09/2017 21:40

We would tend to do a big party every other year, I think that seems reasonable

skyzumarubble · 06/09/2017 21:44

We did a whole class party in reception, year 1 we took a couple of them to Nando's and bowling. Big parties seemed to be the thing in reception and then they move to smaller ones.

user1493413286 · 06/09/2017 21:45

Why don't you suggest taking her and a friend or two out for an activity of her choosing like the my little pony film or something else that she would enjoy.

AtSea1979 · 06/09/2017 21:45

It'll be a good way to get to know class friends if she's moved to a new school ?your post wasn't clear on this.
If you can afford it and your DD wants one then I don't see why not, lots of places do it so it's no hassle for parents, apart from the usual politic but again it's unclear why you don't want to do one. Or why don't you take a couple of her friends to see the MLP film?

BlondeB83 · 06/09/2017 21:46

Maybe take her and a couple of friends to the cinema and then for something to eat? X

Allthewaves · 06/09/2017 21:46

Give her the choice of a party or trip out with friends

steppemum · 06/09/2017 21:48

I always say you can have as many as can sit round the table for a party, so in our old house 6-8 kids, now 8-10. I have never done a big/class party, and I find they are more fun like this, and less frenetic.

So, keep it smaller, invite a few (limit it to just 3 friends if you like) Go and do something with them. Have you got a trampoline park near you? Go and do that, then come home to a party tea at the table, (easy sandwiches, crisps, sausages on sticks) then birthday cake.

You could leave it there, or you could set up a couple of games. Treasure hunts are good. I have done them with a photo of something in house or garden (eg watering can, coffee table) they run to that place, find a hidden sweet and then run back to you and get given the next photo. 10 pictures will keep them going for ages, don't make it too easy.
Instead of sweets you can hide letters, and then when they have all the letters they have to make a name or a word. or make them puzzle pieces, and they have to make the puzzle.
I have done that where the puzzle shows them where the party bags are hidden, and then they find the party bags and go home.

That is very easy party. lay the tea out early, and open packets of crisps etc as they sit down. Treasure hunt ready in advance, you sit in a chair and hand out photos. 4-6 children not to many, but enough to have an atmosphere. Trampoline park gets rid of energy and is exciting high point. Or you could go to the MLP film and back home for tea and cake, make sure not too long at home so parents collect while they are still happy.

Sorted!

BluePheasant · 06/09/2017 21:48

Ask her if she wants to bring a couple of friends to see film with her? Party tea afterwards

Yika · 06/09/2017 21:52

Age 6? Honestly I would throw her a party. My DD is also beginning of October and we also have the issue with new friends each year but parties are quite a big deal at this age I find. Doesn't have to be a big event though.

KindergartenKop · 06/09/2017 21:54

We had 4 friends over to our house for ds1's 5th birthday. We did musical statues, pin the tail on the donkey etc and tea. They only stayed for an hour and a half. Ds felt he'd had a party and it only cost us a few quid.

Original poster

just5morepeas · 06/09/2017 21:58

I like the idea of having a big party every other year, like you said, that sounds reasonable.

I also like the idea of asking a friend or two to go see the film with her, I'm sure she'd like that.

OP posts:

Parietal · 06/09/2017 22:08

6 friends at home makes a great party for a 6 year old - musical bumps or an obstacle course and a cake and they are happy.

RiversrunWoodville · 06/09/2017 22:14

We did whole class party p1 and 2 (age 5&6) but last year dd wanted a big party with gladiator and bouncy castle which seemed to be the in thing in her class but her behaviour hadn't been great and it would have been a real stretch to afford all her friends. She was warned several times her behaviour needed to improve for a big party and it didn't so we didn't book, went for a day out with her best friend and wee cousins instead with tea out after and she said later it was loads better because it was smaller. This year (P4) she wants to see a film with a couple of her friends and mcds after although this will change 500 times by may!

alphajuliet123 · 06/09/2017 22:17

Take a couple of her besties with you to the cinema and for a meal / milkshake / icecream.

BikeRunSki · 06/09/2017 22:21

DD will also be 6 in October and is having a climbing party at the leisure centre. Numbers are limited, so she has had to chose her few best friends. She gets overwhelmed by big parties anyway. Fairly low cost, then they are having tea in the cafe.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 07/09/2017 01:33

In yr1, the class parties died out rapidly, being replaced by smaller parties and trips of closer friends including a carful to the cinema followed by fast food. It was nice not spending every other weekend at softplay for a child we'd barely heard of as, we did in reception. (Gleefully waits for round 2 to begin DS2...)

Saying that, DS1 was one of the few who did a whole class party, but a lot of that was down to the awkward timing of his birthday when a lot of people have long standing arrangements, and the trend wasn't so apparent by that point of the year.

AliTheMinx · 07/09/2017 17:17

My DS will be 6 in November and it's still very much the thing in his school to invite the whole year. He would be devastated if he didn't have a party, as he loves them and often looks at the photos and videos from his other parties. This year he's having a joint party with a classmate born on the same day, which he thinks is cool. That seemed more popular as Reception went on, and probably in Year 2 maybe he'll do something a bit smaller with his closest friends, but for Year 1 we're sticking with a big party.

KarateKitten · 07/09/2017 17:20

Honestly at age 6, I'd have noticed that other kids got to celebrate their birthdays with a party and I didn't. We've a big house with lots of gardens so I do them at home (as long as I can get away with!) which is very cheap but I'd be inclined to at the very least invite 5 friends and arrange some games, party bags and cake at home. Shouldn't cost you much at all!

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