To be upset by this (I already know IABU)

[Terriersandtea]

I know this is ridiculous but, I recently discovered that someone who doesn't like me (we've never properly spent time together, I'm just married to their ex but they split up years before I met him) is sending their (school age) child to to the school I had imagined my (unborn) child would go to. We have bought a house in the catchment area and although I know we won't definitely get a place when the time comes I always pictured sending my little one off to this school in the future. (It's my old school and it's so lovely). They are also currently pregnant and I'm now panicking that our children will be in the same class. I realise this is years away and a lot could change between now and then but it's unlikely we will move away and I just feel a little sad as I'm such a planner and was so happy to think of my little one going there. I hate bad feeling or confrontation and would love to all get on as we do bump into each other from time to time but unfortunately it hasn't happened so far. I haven't told any of my friends about the baby yet incase anything goes wrong so I don't really have anyone to talk to in real life about this except DH who thinks I'm worrying over nothing (which I agree I am but I can't help it).

By the time you are a parent this play ground crap really won't matter anymore. ...

You are worrying about something that is 5 years away. Don't be too concerned though, as when baby arrives you will not have the time to be preoccupied with such melodrama.

Besides, them being in the same class will not be an issue should that happen. As I doubt they will be raised to hate you - I can't imagine you're that important to your dh ex

You are massively over thinking it. By the time your unborn child is school age none of it will matter. Even if they are in the same class.

I have clinical anxiety and worry over stupid things, but even I can't see what the problem is. Are you maybe transferring worry about the pregnancy onto this issue?

Maybe try to distract yourself with something positive. Do some online shopping for baby clothes? Put it in the cart but don't buy. Imagine decorating your baby's room or dressing them rather than what might happen at their future school.

You need to get a sense of perspective.

I can assure you, this wont be the only person you dislike/dislikes you ato the school gates.
You just get on with it and ignore them!

I don't talk to anyone in the playground. It's not the law.

You might not move away, but they might. Even if your children do end up in the same class, there will be so many others starting it will be insignificant.
Plus, things change over the years. She may not have liked you but people mature a lot once they have children.

There was a girl in my class at primary school I didn't have a great time with. She was in a bit of a group of mean girls and I was a bit stuck up and above myself, if the truth be told. Both our DDs ended up in the same class at our small primary.

It was fine. We'd both obviously grown up a bit in the intervening years! We often used to meet each other on the way to school and chat, and whilst our DDs weren't best friends, they got on well enough.

Don't worry. It's years ahead and lots will change.

Thanks for your replies I didn't mean to sound self absorbed I just worry when people don't like me and I'm scared of not having mum friends as none of my friends are having babies yet so I feel a little isolated. Yes I am panicking about every little thing at the moment I think it is probably because I'm terrified something will go wrong with the baby as our last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage so I'm a bag of nerves in general. Sorry, thanks again everyone. X

A lot can change in five years; no point wasting energy on 'what might be' so far in advance.

Incidentally, I was in a similar position when I had my first child with my then DH. His XW had just had hers with her new partner, we met by chance at a mum & baby thing, got sort of talking (awkwardly at first, I have to confess!) and discovered we didn't dislike each other as much as we'd thought. Don't get me wrong, we didn't end up BFF or anything, but we did get along quite well and so did our children. So you never know...

Both of my children are at school with different ex's offspring. It's actually not as awkward as I initially thought it would be. Although when I found out one ex's DS fancied my DD that did get weird, thankfully it was unrequited.

You're worrying over nothing really, it's years away even if it does happen and don't let it put you off wanting your children there, you're unlikely to have much to do with them even if it does happen.