AIBU to complain?

[Meadowflowers]

15yr old dd first dy back at school today. She came home upset. There's a new girl in her year.
Dd form teacher brought the new girl in, sat her down with dd and dd's best friend. Then the head of year came in and told the form teacher to change the seating arrangements as she doesn't want the new girl to turn out like dd and best friend!!!!
Dd thought she was joking until the form teacher stood and waited until they'd all been moved.
The upset has come from the fact that dd has never been in trouble i.e no detention, no isolation, no exclusion. Never. All parents evenings have been full of praise and positivity. She stays behind for GCSE support. Now I'm not a naive parent, I know dd is no angel. She's a normal teenager who voices her opinion even when it's not wanted!! She has attitude and and she talks a lot but there are certainly no behavioural issues.
I was really angry on her behalf to be victimised in this manner and loudly in front of the whole form class.

Are you 100% sure the teacher wasn't joking?

Was it a joke? If DD is never in trouble I wouldn't think the teacher was serious?

Have dd ask the teacher why he said that. Strange...

Dd thought it was a joke until the teacher stood and waited for the other teacher to move the new girl. Last year the same teacher seemed to have it in for dd and dd's best friend as dd needed to go to the toilet on her period and was refused so argued with said teacher, then best friend got involved and defended dd. They got told off for their attutude but not given disciplinary action. I contacted school and said she should have been allowed to go to the toilet in these circumstances. Since then said head of year has always been abrupt and off handed with the 2 girls. Together the 2 girls are giddy and silly. They are both hard working and get good results, but seem to bring out the idiots in each other. Its not the first issue with this particular teacher. I do think it's wrong that because of one incident this teacher has now labelled dd with a bad reputation.

Ah - so if they get giddy and silly round each other, presumably the teacher meant she didn't want another silly giddy teenager in the mix.

Just because someone doesn't get detentions and doesn't play truant does not mean they are a model pupil. Pupils can get away with an awful lot at school without technically breaking the rules. The Head of Year probably just thinks that your DD and her friend are bad examples and would prefer the new person to sit with someone else.

I don't think it's worth complaining about, maybe this experience will help your DD think about exactly why the HoY holds this negative impression of her, and perhaps change her behaviour in future.

As a teacher and from the description of your daughters behaviour it sounds like she does indeed have behavioural issues.

At first I was gonna say it's probably a joke (I can definitely imagine a teacher saying that about my best friend and I at school cos we were so giggly, though never ever disruptive or in trouble and were model pupils pretty much) and as a nice funny way to move them to help new girl get settled in.

But the more you've said the more it makes sense, sounds like your DD has developed a reputation for being a bit mouthy and confrontational. They've been told off for their attitude before, that IS getting into trouble! Did you think it had to be a formal disciplinary or something to count?

I wouldn't get overly worked up about this if I were you. I remember not being allowed to sit beside my friend in biology class for lower sixth as we "messed around" too much prior to our GCSE's according to the teacher.

My friend ended up coming 1st in Biology A-Level in NI and I ended up studying it at university. The teacher's remark was not a personal slight but more likely a comment on 2 silly teens at the time.

Ok, thank you all for putting it into perspective for me and I do agree with what you are all saying as I know what she can be like at home as well. It is something I will discuss with her (her behaviour and attitude) rather than with school following everyone's advice. Thank you.