First day of school run ever.

[harvester77]

So my boy started school today. All fine in the morning but waiting around for gates to open wasn't so great. Felt like a lemon just standing there. Everyone knows everyone or so it seemed. I'm new to the area. I Did see a few on their own but reception class not so much. To top it off my boy said 2 others were mean to him and kicked sand in his face great start. I've got years of this and I'm disliking already. I have 2 under 2 so can't go back to work as we decided best for now I stay at home. Aibu? Tell me it gets better??? Please

It does get better. Just stock yourself in the throng of people and eventually you get talking. Particularly as your child makes friends. I was a new parent to my son's school a couple of years ago, where every parent knew everyone already. I now have a select few who I speak to regularly but at pick up I tend to hang around out of the way as I was fed up being drawn into the politics of it all. Even now, another mum has suddenly stopped speaking to me because I'm friends with a certain person. It's ridiculous!

Do you feel weird if you are waiting at a bus stop and don't know anyone else at the bus stop?

If not, then just treat it as waiting for a bus.

Do you expect to make close friends while waiting for the bus?

If not, then just treat it like waiting for a bus.

Do you feel weird if you are waiting at a bus stop and don't know anyone else at the bus stop?

No, but if everyone else at the bus stop knew everyone else then you might feel weird!

You're better off out of it anyway, just look on your phone and mumsnet

It really does get better, both for you and for him. You will both find your folks :)

Don't worry. When your ds makes friends you will start getting to know the parents. That's how it started for me when moving to a new school. Also you could help out at the school if you have time. A good way to mix with lots of parents and teachers.

I absolutely hated the school run at first for the same reasons. It gets better!

Umm it was day 1!! Of course you didn't know anyone else.

Wrt sand kicking, tell your son to tell the teacher every time something happens. Don't worry, your son will be naughty too at some stage.

Lots of other parents will know each other from their dcs being friends at pre-school, they may well have flat similar at the start of preschool when several mums who already knew each other from baby groups or with older dcs were chatting.

Agree when your dc makes friends /starts getting party invites, you'll get to know the parents. Lots of parents will have taken today off work who won't be there normally, so there's going to be a smaller group doing the run every day, you are more likely to get to know them.

It's only the first day. It will get better as the year goes on.

It does get better.

I felt out of it when DS1 first started as a lot of his classmates had older siblings so the families all knew each other.

When you see the same faces everyday though and start to say hello it helps. It also helped when birthday parties started. Also everyone goes to the same park after school so if you go there you can chat to other mums.

Having said that, for us at least it remained pretty superficial (i.e. a quick smile and a chat rather than becoming real friends) but that's because a) we both work FT and b) we're quite introverted and anti-social

However I do know of mums who made great friends there and they spend time together outside of school.

It gets easier! You get to know the mums of the friends they make. Once the party invites roll in you will get more familiar with the other mums. Speak to the teacher about the sand incident though

Definitely gets easier and you'll start getting to know people and then you'll be starting a thread at being accosted at the school gates

Thanks. I think I'm being to quick to assume just the thought of doing it day in and out I know it's coming but I was going to go back to work after dc2 but 3 came along by surprise. I'm not totally introvert but as years passed and I'm late 30's I find I'm even fussier with friends and being new around here i feel more lonely. All my mates I miss are further away. Bestie has a 20 year old and the others all older kids or no kids. I'm a late mum myself career csm4 first for years but i love being sahm apart from doing the run. Anyway hope it gets better

I was in the same boat last year, my daughter was placed at a school that hadn't been one of options and on the first day I felt a bit of a lemon standing there while little groups of parents chatted around me.

But I made myself start chatting to other parents, just about the weather, the time it took the teacher to open the gates, oooh I love your jacket etc and got talking to people. Now in the school hols we meet up with a group of mums and their kids and have a good old chin wag, as well as an active whatsapp group. If you put a bit of effort in then others will (mostly) respond

Think yourself lucky you don't know anyone, head down, no eye contact with anyone, in and out as fast as you can, you never get used to it, like groundhog day

OP you are really overthinking this. everyone is just a normal person like you - some are in a hurry thinking about work, some are nervous for their own children, some have social anxiety - you just chat to people and over the months and years some become your friends.

It is nothing like waiting for a bus - this is a nice way to meet people but you have to be friendly, smile, make polite chit chat and accept it takes a while to click with people.

If you go into it feeling negative you won't get aything positive out of the experience.

Or you could make a bit of an effort and smile and even say hello occasionally?
I was 43 when I had DS and second oldest mum but I still managed to be friendly and make friends with other (younger) mums.
It's really not that hard and being approachable will help if you're trying to organise play dates during the holidays.

School will ensure very hard if you don't change your attitude!

I used to get there early as we lived further away so I used to overcompensate incase of traffic etc, but that really helped me make friends because I was often there first others would begin to arrive and you can say hi as you're the only one there and get chatting, (isn't the weather awful, how's your little one settling in, which nursery did they go to etc etc) and then as other people arrive, they come and join your group rather than you trying to join another group.

You will also get groups that already know each other from older siblings or same nursery etc but don't be put off.

As others have said, once invitations to birthday parties start arriving, you will be sitting in soft play hell on many a Saturday afternoon chatting to different parents over a coffee. At these things, offer your help to hand round the food/juice or whatever so people see you as a nice person.

Also, once your child has made some friends you will get other parents names and numbers for arranging play dates etc and you get chatting at drop off and pick up time.

It will all fall into place.

I completely get where you are coming from. I dropped DS off for his first day on Monday and was very relieved that I work full time so his childminder will be doing it on a daily basis! I obviously will pick him up and drop him off occasionally but don't think I could cope with it every day.

It might get easier, depending on how social you can be. For me, it didn't. DD1 started school 10 years ago and now dd2 is in year 6 I've got 1 more year then don't have to do it anymore, I'm so fucking relieved!

Don't stand there on your phone, people will then never talk to you as they'll think you can't be other editions to mix with anyone.

It's your first day, I didn't chat to anyone until well into a few weeks. Once the kids have got into it a bit more, you can accost other parents and chat about it dunno, anything school related!

I met one of my best friends when DS1 was in reception but we didn't become friends u til the summer term. Don't be disheartened so soon!

• other editions? Be bothered!

I felt like this when DS1 was still at nursery. I vowed to give up trying to get to know the other parents and kept myself to myself. One day in the park DS1 met a wee girl from nursery and her mum and I got talking.

Nearly 25 years and several moves later she is one of my closest friends. Keep am open mind is my advice.