To stop DSs pocket money now that child benefit has stopped?

[OverTheHammer]

DS (16) has put very little effort into finding work/further education since leaving school. Ignoring emails, missing interviews, refusing to discuss things ... now his child benefit has stopped.

He currently gets £15 a week pocket money. AIBU to now stop this as a consequence of him not sorting himself out and just give him money for bus fares to interviews etc?

Sounds reasonable to me! Is he even allowed to do that any more? I thought they had to be in some sort of scheme up to 18?

There's no way on earth I'd be giving money to a 16 year to do nothing! Of course I'd still give money for getting to interviews and other important things, and fund essentials, but definitely not for fun stuff.

Based on your title I was going to say YABU but given the context I really don't think you would be U at all.

As PP has said though, does he not need to be in some kind of formal education/training anyway until he is 18? I would say that the pocket money continues (despite lack of CB) under the proviso that he gets off his backside and does something constructive.

I'm stopping 16 year old dds pocket money at the end of the month. She is earning a salary now though as she's doing an apprenticeship.
I thought they had to do something until they were 18 and dossing about doing nothing wasn't an option?!
Give him a kick up his lazy arse!!

My grandchildren live in Northern Ireland. When they stayed on at college each of them got a government allowance and my daughter still got Child Benefit. She stopped their pocket money. They kept their allowance and she kept the Child Benefit.

I think that's totally reasonable if he's not making any effort to continue education or get an apprenticeship.

Being unreasonable or reasonable doesnt really come into it.

You've just lost £20 per week, and to give your ds £15 per week on top of that. That's £35. Assuming you're not a millionaire. That's a lot of bloody money.

Nope, just good parenting. Where's the incentive to get work if he's getting a handout at home?

I don't understand kids like him, when I was a teenager I was so eager and excited to get a job asap. I volunteered from 14 as I wasn't allowed a paid job until 16, and a month past 16 started work.

Is there some reason behind him not bothering? Does he have mental health issues or something else going on? I'd be really worried at his lack of get up and go. He's 16, that's not normal. Time for a sit down chat asking him his plans for the future and letting him know that you'll be expecting him to move out once he's an adult at 18 so best sort himself out now and get used to earning. You say he won't talk about it but while he's being funded by you under your roof you have every right to find out why a person of working age isn't contributing to the household and what he plans to do about it. He could have some kind of depression or maybe social anxiety going on though, no indication of that in your post but grasping to find some kind of reasonable explanation here.

Does he not have friends who are moving forward in work training or education?

Is there something a bit more going on?

I don't think in itself not giving him money is unreasonable, but if I'm honest I don't think lack of £15 a week will change anything.

Is he not doing anything at all?

If so, you are more than right to try to push and encourage him to do anything, work or study!. Sounds like very good parenting. It doesn't matter how old they are, but until they have a full time paid job, it's fine to help, but as long as they do something.