My daughter is 8 years old. She is in a class of 33. The class fairly recently went from around 26 to 33, all appeared to be coping well. Recently there has been a new addition taking the class to 34, a high number regardless of additional support needs.
Without disclosing every incident this new classmate has a ASC diagnosis and has directly threatened my daughter, thrown things which she has been hit with, hit other children, stormed out of classes, has had a two person restraint/removal from class. The Pupil only has one to one intervention when something 'kicks off' which has been almost daily over a two month period. My daughter is terrified, crying, refusing to go to school.
I have previously worked in a residential school for young people with ASD and have always been extremely empathetic. My daughter at 8 is extremely stressed, scared and not wanting to go to school, despite having previously loved school, there has never been an incidence before of her not wanting to/being scared to go to school. I have written a letter, had face to face meetings and am now escalating to senior management as the situation remains the same for my daughter. The emphasis has been firmly on inclusion and what is best for the new Pupil and what my daughter can do to keep herself safe, manage HER anxiety.
As a mother my heart goes out to the other side of this story but my focus must be on my terrified 8 year old. I need to advocate for her or who else will? She does not have the coping strategies of an adult something that seems to be conveniently/worryingly overlooked in the present system.
The system is at fault. Closing all the special education units in the 80's was a travesty in my eyes. The lack of provision now is a disgrace. But! We are failing our children in mainstream education as well. I have researched inclusion quite extensively since I found myself and my daughter in this position and an article about inclusion really struck a chord because it is so one sided, so blinded by inclusion, but only inclusion at its best, it does not address the major issues, the lack of support, the lack of funding, the inconsistency in approach, the impact on the 33 others when they don't 'get it right' this system is not 'getting it right for every child' it's not even getting it right for one. The system needs to change. We need to recognise specialist provision is not discrimination it's 'getting it right for EVERY child' this is the article I was referring to;
missnightmutters.com/2014/11/dear-parent-about-that-kid.html
And this is my response;
I went to school today,
Happy and carefree,
I skipped to school today
Keen to learn and play
I followed all the rules you asked,
I hung my coat upon the peg,
I wrote the words you asked me,
I did all the things you said.
I try my best to please you
in that class of 33,
I understand your busy,
Your focus can not be only me.
I went to school today,
In a class was 34,
Our new classmate was different,
He was lying on the floor.
I tried my best not to show my fear
when he threw those pens at me,
I did quietly sit and cry
when nobody could see.
There was lots of talk
within our class
how we should act and be,
I tried to be so very brave
when my classmate threatened me.
I went to school today
and was quiet,
and careful
and aware.
I've learned not to voice my fears,
I fear that no one cares.
I know I'm only 8 years old
and my voice is so tiny and wee
but you see
I was coping
in that class of 33.
I went to school today
in my class of 34
if you listened to my little voice,
I'm not coping anymore.
Things need to change for all our children.
I know not everyone will agree but if you do please wish me luck. I don't think I've ever been as stressed and upset. It's the worst thing in the world watching your child struggle and be scared and I truly do see it from both sides, I'm just fighting the fight for my scared little girl at the moment, I hope all parents get the right outcome for their child.