WIBU to start neglecting my cat?

[JumpingJellybeanz]

I really don't know what to do. My cat hates any sort of 'intervention'. Really hates it. She goes completely berserk at the mere hint of a grooming brush or flea treatment. She an sniff out the cat box from a million miles away.

Every time she gets something done she runs away and lives under a neighbour's extension until she forgives us. These times away get longer every time. She came back again this morning acting like nothing's happened having disappeared after a tick treatment in APRIL.

She's due her annual check up soon. WIBU to cancel it and give her the care she wants rather than what she needs? Which is worse, neglecting her health care but having a happy cat or getting her treated properly and resigning myself to her going feral?

I feel guilty whatever I do. :(

She needs the proper treatment but there are different ways to give things like wormers, flea prevention etc. so maybe ask the vet for alternatives if the current ones are causing problems.

I don't think that would count as neglect. I have nervous cats who only go to the vets if they are hurt/unwell.
Leaving an injured/unwell animal, not feeding them, mistreating them is a world away from what you're suggesting.

Hmm. Tricky.

I'd not take her to the vet & discuss what to do in the appointment instead.
For instance, there are tablets for flea treatments (with workers etc) that may be less invasive than a spot-on or whatever. You can hide those in tasty treats.

Lots of cats live without their boosters. Not saying that's recommended, just that it's probably not harmful.

If she's only just come back since April she's either semi-feral anyway or living at someone else's house.

workers = wormers

My cat doesn't have a separate tick treatment for example, we use a combined product, and unless she's long-haired you don't need to groom as cats are really good at that themselves.

She's been missing since April?

Is someone feeding her?

Keep her in as a housecat? As she has been gone a long time sounds like she has two family's to me

In this case I would cut down on any non-essential treatments. If she's been away since April then you've probably missed a few flea treatments anyway.

Agree with the suggestion to go to the appointment without the cat and discuss options.

My late cat was similar in attitude (but less stubborn) and we only took him to the vet when he was seriously ill. He lived to 18y

She a Norwegian forest cat so is a tiny long haired, semi-feral thing. Nobody else feeds her, we put food down in the cellar and she creeps in when it's dark and there's nobody around. Slightest sound of movement upstairs and we hear her crashing out of the cat flap.

Have you tried any stuff to chill the cat out like Feliway? Before doing treatments.

Never tried it but it's supposed to make cats relaxed/calm and maybe she will be more forgiving with it.

My dcat runs away as soon as the flea or worm stuff comes out, she does forgive quick though although looks very hard done by for a day or two.

YANBU and it doesn't sound like she'll be happy as a house cat. We used to have an outside cat by his choice, along with several normal loving inside/outside cats. He would come once or twice each day and eat our cats food, so often that we considered him ours, but unless it was the depths of winter he would never stay in the house longer than it took to eat.

I used to see him in the street all the time and I suspect that he sleeps in a neighbours brick shed like thing - there is a catflap in the wall but she says he is not hers and he doesn't go in her house and she doesn't feed him.

I took him to the vets a few times for fighting injuries and even got him castrated so he would fight less. This worked, but I could never get him to the vets for injections, flea treatment etc so I left him to it.

He stopped coming in our house last year when we started fostering kittens but I still see him in the street and he's fatter than ever so he's doing perfectly fine as far as I can see.

The only thing I worry about is that whoever has fed him for the last year won't be interested if he needs to go to the vets but I'll cross that bridge if I come to it - I won't see him suffer so if he gets sick or seriously injured I'll probably have to pay for euthanasia if I can't find anyone else willing to cough up.

We also have another cat who appears to have a serious vet phobia but it dosen't cause him to piss off for months afterwards thankfully. But I do think some cats prefer a very hands off relationship on their terms.

We have a plug in hormone thingy which the vet gave us. Our other cat is now totally chilled. Hasn't made any difference to this one. The vet said her behaviour is pretty normal for her breed so not a huge amount we can do about it.

If you have no worries over her general health it won't hurt to miss the check up. That said if she is an outdoor cat I guess she needs her vaccines. I wouldn't say it's neglect. I have an indoor cat aged 11 not been to the vet since aged 2 for a vaccine. As he is indoor and hated so much haven't taken him. He's fine!

We had a cat like that, pretty feral and recoiled at any human contact. We used a joint flea and tick treatment (can't remember if it was every 4 or 6 weeks). He hated it and had to be physically pinned down, but it only took a few seconds and then he would jump down and hide. We then fed him a whole cooked chicken and keep him inside for the next few hours while throwing food to him (ham, tuna, chicken, cat treats). He always came back x

Reading it back this sounds strange. We did stroke him but only when he chose to come to one of us. And he used to go AWOL for weeks at a time but we would see him every few days walking the streets, so he wasn't missing but he just didn't like being indoors. We left his food in the garden and if he really felt like coming in the house he would wait at one of the doors until we saw him and let him in x

We live in the countryside surrounded by scandinavian forest. I suppose it's her natural habitat really. We're just the equivalent of drive-through McDonald's, used purely for convenience.

jumping this could be one of my two cats! He decided to 'move out' about two years ago (shortly after the death of another cat). I've tried various tricks to persuade him back indoors but he's just not up for it at all. He's fairly friendly on his own terms while outside but if I ever trap him for vets it's another story!
He is essentially semi feral and yet I do still bundle him up for his annual vaccs because he's my responsibility. I also drag him to the cattery when I go away because who else would feed him?

I bought a fairly cheap sort of rabbit hutch arrangement for him out of guilt - he never uses the sleeping part but he does come to eat in it, and at least I know he has the option of shelter there.

Whenever I do get the chance to give him a pet, I try to give him a mini physical just to check for bumps and scrapes but he's a pretty happy and healthy boy on balance, and he seems perfectly happy. I think I just feel guilty because my other one is such a cosseted baby!

Really I would speak to the vet for some advice, providing a good vet she might offer to home visit, sedate for grooming etc.
It's not a cheap option I'm afraid. I own an ex stray who is loving as anything but will fight you to death should you dare to want to groom him or administer any treatment. I can still just about get him in a cat box using food and gardening gloves!
As he is older now and requires regular blood tests for a thyroid problem we have him sedated at while under he gets a thorough going over - my vet literally has me write a list of issues to be dealt with including grooming tasks.
It's not cheap but she does a good job and is very kind.

I stopped taking our elderly cat to the vets because we never put her in a cattery, could treat her for fleas and worms ourselves and frankly all she did was potter around our garden or sit inside then follow me about. She found the cat box traumatic and cried the whole time. She used to sweat with fear on the vet's table. If she'd had a condition that required medication I'd have taken her, but she was happier not to go through all of that.

Could you put flea/worm treatments in her food? Mine just eat around it or ignore it completely, but it could be worth a try?

I don't think forcing cats to the vets is really a good idea. I've never taken any of mine for annual check-ups - they both hate the carrier and get really stressed, I don't feel it's worth it when they're both healthy indoor cats.

One of them has been due to injury and of course if one of them was unwell we would take them, but we flea/worm them regularly at home - they don't need regular vet check ups in my opinion.

Sounds like a good plan. We only vet for life threatening for the cats. Otherwise we treat at home. So wormers etc. Outside cats tend to be pretty healthy in terms of fur parasites, so just worming to do in something tasty.

We recently 'adopted' a feral cat, she has been coming to us everyday now for over a year and now she comes in the house on an evening and jumps up on the sofa with me for some attention 😁 she will never do this with the kids around, very nervous, distraught when locked in the pet carrier, panting at vet visits, scared of every single cat (even feral kittens) that come around so the vet gave me a sedative to put in her food before a visit, it works and she's less distraught, she is an outside cat but since she comes in the house the worming and fleeing needs to be done for my comfort too

Our old (old old old) cat hated both flea treatments and grooming. It was really problematic due to her not grooming herself properly resulting in quite significant matts on her fur that we couldn't get out (long-haired cat). I initially stopped flea treatment due to the horror of trying to get it on her, and of course she got fleas, which was ten times worse. IMHO better to force the flea treatment. For the matts we got a little low-noise cat shaver, and for getting her in the box it was a case of closed room, pushing her half-way in and then tipping the box up to get her in properly. Unfortunately due to her extensive health problems there was no option other than get her in the box and to the vet, and she did become quite relaxed about the box/vet by the end.

It helped to have her box just hanging around so it stopped being a trigger to disappear when we brought it out. We also had a favourite blanket that went inside it.

Sadly she passed before Christmas. Our new cats also hate flea treatments, but I hold them and part the fur while my partner applies the treatments - I ignore all wriggles. Worm tablets are taken with either a couple of dreamies or wedged into a cat treat meat stick. Worming tablets are much easier to get down them! Butter/soft cheese failed - they just licked it off.

Just to add on re-reading the OP, it might be worth avoiding the vet if no obvious health problems. I wouldn't have felt the need to go so regularly except outs had many health problems in later life. I now take our little ones every six months for early diagnosis potential, but that has to be weighed up against stress to the animal. Ours HATE being boxed, but given our experience with our last cat, I'd rather they were seen just in case. Does coaxing in with treats help at all?

I don't bother with check ups for one of my rabbits for this reason Even the vet commented on how terrified he is and advised me to only bring him in if he's poorly due to increased risk of heart attack. He shakes so much he looks like he's fitting. Means he doesn't get vaccinated or wormed and I do his claws but the poor little chap just can't stand it

If she's super nervous and unlikely to mix closely with other cats, then risk of viral diseases is lower... though not vaccinating for cat flu is a bit of a gamble, it is highly contagious and unpleasant if they do catch it. It is a case of weighing up the stress of the vets against the risk of illness. Your vet should be able to advise on ways to get her there with minimal stress if you do decide to take her (many have cat only clinics/waiting rooms etc) house visits can be good, though some cats still freak about about strangers bringing vet smells into the house. In terms of flea/wormers, there are new things coming out all the time, with easier and less frequent dosing. Would doing it all by mouth/in food be easier? You may get away without flea treatment for a while, but they are horrid, itchy things and are much easier to prevent than to clear up once pets and house are infested.

I'd ring for a chat and see what they advise.