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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parking in parent and child bays? Help?

59 replies

MotherOfBeagles · 05/09/2017 17:41

Oh wise ones of mumsnet i need your help!

I am currently 33 weeks pregnant, huge and uncomfortable and struggling with awful PGP/SPD with a very severe limp. I have been using normal parking up until today and really struggling to get in and out, the last few times its been physically impossible for me to get in the car so i've been having to ask passing strangers to pull my car out for me (my DH has not been impressed with that). So my family and friends have been telling me to stop being stupid and use the parent bays.

So today i did and now i'm really wishing i hadn't!

Stopped at tesco on my way home and parking in the parent bays there was a couple next to me loading their newborn and shopping into their car. Once i was close enough it was obvious no child or child seat was in the car, so they began pointing and angrily glaring at me before i got out. Fair enough they couldn't see i was pregnant or limping yet.

But when i got out and it became apparent just how huge and obviously in pain and struggling to move i was they didn't stop. But instead starting to call me disgusting and pathetic, now normally id just argue back but my hormones are seriously messing with me so i just burst into tears and (slowly) waddled off.

There were easily another 10 parent bays free but parking was otherwise busy. So aibu to park there? If i am i genuinely will park elsewhere again, just feeling very upset and pathetic right now .

OP posts:

LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/09/2017 17:43

It wouldn't occur to me you shouldn't park there. They're a courtesy to parents, not a legal requirement, so the strictness of rules you have with (eg) disabled spaces needn't come into it.

If I saw a heavily pregnant woman I'd assume her child-to-be definitely entitled her to a space!

wowbutter · 05/09/2017 17:44

You are entitled to park there. You need to be able to open your door, and be closer to the shops.
In fact, currently, anyone can park there.

EssentialHummus · 05/09/2017 17:44

They're a courtesy to parents, not a legal requirement, so the strictness of rules you have with (eg) disabled spaces needn't come into it.

Yup. They were being cunts, there's nothing more to it.

Babyblues14 · 05/09/2017 17:45

Yep you were bu, clue is in the name, if you don't have a child with you you shouldn't park there. They are there so people can get their children out of the car safely. You should of waited for a normal space

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2017 17:47

Dos you even bother reading the op baby? The op can't get out of the car in normal spaces.

GahBuggerit · 05/09/2017 17:47

YANBU OP. I use them sometimes when Im with my Mum when shes struggling with her hip/leg. No one ever bothers having a go at me, must be my "piss off dont even start" face

You need such a face OP or just ignore them.

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2017 17:47

op you weren't unreasonable af all.

Spudlet · 05/09/2017 17:48

They were being twats. No reasonable, compassionate human being would get arsey with a heavily pregnant woman in obvious pain. Unfortunately twats are a common species, but that doesn't mean they're right.

Witsender · 05/09/2017 17:48

They were arseholes. Ignore them and carry on.

kitkatspiderrat · 05/09/2017 17:48

Babyblues14 but she did have her child with her though. yes may be in utero but still with her

AldiAisleOfCrap · 05/09/2017 17:48

No op you were fine to park there.
Baby Blue , I think have is the word you were looking for.

Passmethecrisps · 05/09/2017 17:51

They were being outrageous and absolute arseholes. These spaces cause so much hassle it is untrue. Would they have been abusive to a very elderly person?

You are a parent with a child. Anyone who argues you are not entitled is being desperately unfair and frankly very unkind

Writerwannabe83 · 05/09/2017 17:51

I sympathise OP. I remember how huge I was towards the end and squeezing in and out my car was a nightmare in car parking spaces.

I read somewhere today though that people who use the parent and child spaces without a child present will now be fined.

It would be interesting to see if heavily pregnant women were included in who can park there.....but then I imagine it would open a can of worms about other large people (I.e very obese people) who struggled to get out their cars in the standard spaces or had weight related mobility problems would start saying they should be allowed to use the wider spaces too or something as it's no different to the current problems you have. I can just imagine it.

I'm sorry it upset you so much, it's awful when you feel on the edge and bursting into tears is all you can do. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope your misery is over soon and replaced with a gorgeous baby

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 05/09/2017 17:51

Lol 2 x parents with a newborn need this space so much less than you do. They are ridiculous. I'm sorry you are in so much pain. DO NOT let them get you down!! (And as for your DH not being impressed he can do one too, if you have SPD it's like a disability, until he knows what that feels like he doesn't get an opinion- also he should be doing the shopping and not you! Don't over do it!)

FadedRed · 05/09/2017 17:51

Oh you poor thing! Sounds awful As long as you aren't using a disabled driver place, you can park wherever you like, C&P places are courtesy, no legal implications.
Are you using crutches, Op? If not, then either get a pair or a walking stick, and defy anyone to be so rude.

Barbaro · 05/09/2017 17:51

Can't see the problem. Over half of the spaces are never used as parents seem to prefer parking in normal spaces with their kids. Dunno why, I'd use the bigger spaces if I was allowed to.

Pickleypickles · 05/09/2017 17:51

My midwife said to me i could park in them when i was i pregnant as i too had a bad back. Also as other people have said they arent a legal thing, anyone can legally park there.

EasterRobin · 05/09/2017 17:51

Totally in the right OP. You need the space more than parents with post-birth children do. The only time I used them regularly was when pregnant.

NicolasFlamel · 05/09/2017 17:52

YANBU. They were assholes. Ignore babyblues too.

Aliveinwanderland · 05/09/2017 17:52

I used to use them when heavily pregnant as I needed to be able to open my door wider to be able to get out of the car.

I remember standing in tears in the work car park after a long day because someone had parked so close to me I couldn't open my door wide enough to get in and couldn't climb in from the passenger side.

Horispondle · 05/09/2017 17:52

YANBU I can take my child out the car in a normal space and walk from the other end of the car park a lot easier than someone with SPD can waddle from the car to the shop.

lazyarse123 · 05/09/2017 17:52

Dnbu it's obvious you needed to be near. What's their problem they already had a space. I Parked in one at 9.30 at night with my 26 year old as he has a medical condition that means he Is in pain while walking. But it's not a permanent condition so not entitled to a blue badge. I would never park in a disabled bay but parent & child is fair game as they are a courtesy and not enforceable by law. BTW I wouldn't use them if I was on my own.

sharklovers · 05/09/2017 17:52

YANBU! I would've told them to fuck off and die.

Bluntness100 · 05/09/2017 17:54

God I hate people who take it upon themselves to randomly police parking spaces and then even worse, abuse those parking in them, like in some parallel universe, existing only in their own fucked up heads, that's ok.

The issue was theirs, not yours. I'm sorry they made you cry. Some people really are awful human beings.

MrTrebus · 05/09/2017 17:55

YANBU. I drove up to 41 weeks pregnant but although I was massive and saddled hugely I could walk fine so I didn't use the parent baby spaces BUT if I had struggled walking or getting in and out the car I would have used them. As I had no trouble walking I used to park in a quiet bit of the car park further out in a normal space so no one parked near me so I could easily get in and out. Now I have my baby it's easier and quieter sometimes to park in the quiet bit so sometimes I avoid the parent baby bit anyway as some parents annoy me to be honest!

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