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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can schools ban parents using phones on site?

149 replies

shadowfiesta · 05/09/2017 16:11

Primary school have updated their mobile use policy and all staff / parents / visitors cannot use mobile phones on site. I get some of it - can't take photos of kids, staff shouldn't get distracted when teaching etc but we're not even allowed to take a call or check emails in that dreadful wait for the doors to open at the end of the day.....god, we're all going to have to talk to each other aren't we??!!

(Mine are still in ks1 so have to go on site to collect. Ks2 parents can wait on the road so they can probably do what they like!)

OP posts:
lalalalyra · 05/09/2017 18:23

if it's a new request then there's probably a reason for it.

DS's school have banned parents from the playground completely this year because they got sick of the hassles parents managed to cause.

ASatisfyingThump · 05/09/2017 18:36

If I'm on my phone at pickup it's usually with DH, confirming dinner plans or telling him to pick something up on his way home. He can only use his phone on his lunch break and sometimes that falls at school pickup time. It won't do the kids any harm to wait a few moments for my attention, they have it almost solidly until bedtime (I might MN while the kettle's boiling, like now.) It's using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, the families with issues because of phones/screens won't be helped by banning phones for 10 minutes either end of the day.

Manclife · 05/09/2017 18:51

Just wait outside the gates using the phone till the kids are let out. It's not a big issue.

SandyDenny · 05/09/2017 18:55

I assume that all of the posters who can't possibly manage without their phones for the few minutes they are on school property don't ever drive.

Unless you only use your car for trips of less than a mile you're going to be unable to use your phone for a lot longer than the time it takes to pick up your children.

What a lot of angst about nothing

angelnix · 05/09/2017 18:55

I wouldn't need to use my phone on school property of the school sent the notices home or via email rather than putting notes up constantly in the windows/doors with important information on!

HostaFireAndIce · 05/09/2017 18:56

As several people have already said, it's the new Safeguarding guidelines. It's not about teaching parents not to rely on screens or to look at their kids more etc etc. It's safeguarding.

HiJenny35 · 05/09/2017 19:06

Jumping jelly beanz so you need you phone out constantly? You can't wait for five minutes without it? I'm surprised by this because I work with adults with additional needs, many use the phone to enlarge font or for directions but non wouldn't be able to stand still and wait five minutes without using it. And no one is saying in an emergency you couldn't use it.
Yes a school can tell you not to use your phone and can ban parents from the site, it's private land.
I don't understand why it's a problem to wait outside the school grounds, make your calls and then walk onto the site with 1 minute to go and not use your phone. There's loads of reasons, lack of communication between parents, children seeing parents for the first time after school and there head is in the phone, safety of images being taken and safeguarding etc. Im pretty sure no one needs to be on the phone that much.

coddiwomple · 05/09/2017 19:09

you don't get it SandyDenny
I have nothing else to do but looking at my phone when I waiting for my children. It's the perfect time to do so because I can't do it once I have them!
If you prefer I start checking my emails on the way home, or when I am home with them...

megletthesecond · 05/09/2017 19:15

If they want me to get off my phone on the playground they'll have to stop my dc's asking constant questions that require me to consult Google every thirty seconds Hmm .

Fair enough asking parents not to use phones in the school (unless an emergency) though.

JumpingJellybeanz · 05/09/2017 19:21

Jumping jelly beanz so you need you phone out constantly?

No I don't. I need it when I'm in a social situation where I may have to interact with other people. For example, it has a 'panic' button that tells the other person that I have autism and records what they say and turns it into text so I can process it.

Aderyn17 · 05/09/2017 19:23

I'm a grown up. I don't need to be told to give my dc attention when they get out of school. Neither do any of the other parents I know - we are quite good at parenting without requiring the school to tell us how to do it.
As for safeguarding, I'm not sure how being on a phone while waiting for dc for 20 minutes while they locate lunchboxes puts anyone at risk - mobiles are everywhere. It's locking the stable door after the horse has bolted and it's ridiculous to indulge a school in paying lip service to safeguarding because imo this policy does very little to actually safeguard. By the time a child is on the playground they are already in public.

TriHard27 · 05/09/2017 19:28

I genuinely don't see the issue with a parent looking at their phone in a school yard.

Assuming they are afraid you might take photos etc especially if there are fostered children in the school.

Tinysarah1985 · 05/09/2017 19:29

They've banned parents from using them at my little girls nursery. I don't see what can be that important you can't wait for 5 minutes while you do the drop off.

Aderyn17 · 05/09/2017 19:32

There is nothing to stop someone from photographing the fostered children just outside the school gate, which is where all the parents will be clogging up the entrance gathering to collect their dc. This policy won't make any difference in real terms.

Bluelonerose · 05/09/2017 19:32

I never take my phone on the school run unless I've just got back and haven't been home or are going straight out.

I love that 30 mins of being completly uncontactable.

LairyMcClary · 05/09/2017 19:33

They can stop you going on school premises if you don't agree to put the phone away

I suppose they could, but then they would have to bring the children out to me. Win win, I guess!

It's not a safeguarding issue, that's absolute nonsense. Every time they use that word as an excuse it gets sillier. What next, blindfolds on school property in case you accidentally glance at someone elses child?

gamerwidow · 05/09/2017 19:43

No one is so busy they cannot put their phones away for 5 minutes. If you absolutely have to use your phone you can hang about off site until it's time to pick your kids up.

StripyHorse · 05/09/2017 19:43

So someone takes a pic of their child as they pick them up from the first day and posts it on social media. Also in the background of the picture is a child who is fleeing domestic violence. It is possible that this image (and therefore the information it contains) gets to the very person they are fleeing.

Yes this could also happen outside the school gates, but the school cannot prevent this - inside the school gates it can. Is it therefore wrong to ban phones?

LairyMcClary · 05/09/2017 19:51

Yes it's wrong to ban phones. It's so missing the point. Of course we can put our phones away, but when and where we choose to is up to each of us, and not the kids school.

Nobody wants to take pics of other peoples kids, they are even less interesting than our own. Anyone with nefarious intent will just do it anyway.

It's just yet another stupid, nonsensical, nannying, hectoring rule that helps nothing and no-one and merely pisses people off.

WineAndTiramisu · 05/09/2017 20:04

Everyone saying that it's for 'safeguarding', safeguarding what exactly?!
Yes most phone have cameras, but if someone wants to take photos where they aren't supposed to, there are thousands of ways of doing this. Banning mobile phones can't be a safeguarding issue, and I think fully grown adults can decide where and when they use their phones.

CrochetBelle · 05/09/2017 20:35

@JumpingJellybeanz

That sounds like a very helpful app, would you mind sharing the name of it please?

Composteleana · 05/09/2017 20:38

There are situations where looked after/adopted children have parents/other family members contesting the decisions and looking to find them. There are situations where children have been/are being abused and the abuser is a parent who is looking for them, threats have been made re kidnapping etc. This has happened in a variety of schools I have worked in. You might just be doing urgent checking of emails or whatever but someone else might choose to be taking a picture and happen to get so,e other kids in the background, stick it n social media and there's an outside chance it could get back to the wrong people. There's an outside chance that someone else at pickup has there phone for nefarious purposes. Surely a blanket ban is easier to prevent this? I know it's only an outside chance but there we are, this is the currant school culture and these are the expectations imposed on schools from above, not from the schools themselves because they just love to think up new ways to upset parents.

It's a shame if parents don't like it but school's first responsibility is to the children, not the parents, and if for whatever reason the senior management team have decided that this is in the best interests of the pupils, or even just one particular pupil who may be going through something you can't imagine, then why is it so hard to accept that and trust that there are good reasons behind it?

Like I said before, where I work we are not allowed phones on in school at all, not at lunch or break time, not in the staff room or the office, just never. If we are waiting for an important call we can ask for permission to leave our phone switched on in the office and be notified if it rings. Does it piss me off that DP or family can't get hold of me if they need to, or just text to say 'we need milk' or whatever? Yes. Do I think it's a little OTT? Yes. But I accept that I'm not privy to every piece of information about what's going on in the school or why decisions have been taken.

And yeah, you'd think it was patronising for schools to have to tell parents to put the phone down and talk to their children, look pleased to see them, look at the picture they are so proud of or hear about the thing that really upset them that day. I think it's fucking awful that we have to. But we do have to. Year on year children come to us with more and more speech and language problems. We have children who do not know any nursery rhymes. Children who don't get a bedtime story. Children who don't know any traditional stories and fairy tales (apart from maybe the Disney versions in film form). Children who have never played a board game, or helped to bake a cake, or been to the bloody park. So we do everything we can to get parents talking to their children.

And of course neither safeguarding nor lack of interaction/neglect even is an issue in the vast majority of cases. But it will be for at least some pupils in every school. And schools can't just say 'please can only the good parents use their phones on site' or 'please can parents who can't be arsed to interact with their children collect from the no phone playground' so it ends up being a blanket ban. And as much as that might be a pain in the arse for you (generic you, no one person in particular!) well it's not really about you is it?

Composteleana · 05/09/2017 20:40

their phone and many other typos probably!

SprogletsMum · 05/09/2017 20:47

I don't very often even take my phone on the school run but if my dcs school introduced this I would stand on the playground at pick up time on my phone every day. I am not a child. I do not go to school and they don't get to tell me what to do.

coddiwomple · 05/09/2017 21:11

But that's the point, a "blanket ban" will not protect any child. If anyone is really keen on taking photos, he will. Unless you physically remove all phones, cameras at the gate, preventing parents to check their emails is not going to achieve anything - especially when most parents are on their phone whilst they are waiting and no children are there to be seen!

The interaction issue makes no sense either. Parents who are not the most involved will just go back onto facebook or snapchat as soon as they leave the playground, to catch up on the time they miss.

I understand that you are trying to say it's not about "me" as such, but it's exactly like the school fines for truancy. The real culprits do not change their behaviour, you are just bothering the decent parents. Completely ridiculous and frankly pointless.

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