To ask what to do if you feel yourself falling for your casual FWB?

[NC12345678]

Just that - and I'm under a NC.

I met a guy a while ago and we've been having casual sex under a bit of an odd set-up but it works for us. When we are together everything is perfect. Recently I've been falling for him and sort of expecting him to act like my partner but obviously he's not. We are both single and got into this knowing that is was strictly sexual but now I'm getting emotional and don't know how to approach this with him.

We do do normal couple stuff also so I think this also plays into it as it's not just a hotel midnight hook-up. But I don't think he'd want anything more with me than we currently have. So far it's working well with us. I wonder if I give it a bit more time and do more couple things with him he might want to make it more serious.

He might, he might not. But you can't keep seeing him without knowing one way or the other because if you do and he wants nothing more then you're the one that will end up hurting.

Speak to him, tell him you are developing feelings. If he isn't then for your sake itches to stop

*it has to
I hope nothing is itching!

I wonder if I give it a bit more time and do more couple things with him he might want to make it more serious. That way lies heartbreak. Because you get more invested and he may well not.

Have a chat. Tell him that FWB isn't working well for you. Is he interested in more or should you call it quits?

What do you mean by doing 'normal couple stuff'? FWB should be about sex and nothing else.

NewBrian surely the hint is in the name - friends with benefits - there's nothing wrong with going out for dinner, to the cinema etc before the sexual shenanigans.

What you refer to is commonly known as a hook up/booty call.

OP have a chat with him & see how he feels. If he's happy the way things are & isn't interested in more then for your own sake walk away, don't cling onto the hope that things will change.

I don't really recommend doing what I did - drink too much vodka, call him round then turn into a crying snotty mess about how I liked him.

TBF though we've been married 6 years now and I haven't drink vodka since!

This one is easily sorted if you're able to act rationally and think logically and ignore your heart and loins for a bit.

Speak to him. Tell him you have feelings for him and want to explore being more than FWB, then listen and see what he says.

If he says yes I'd like that too, you have your answer and congrats on a new relationship.

If he says no, I don't want that, you either stop seeing him altogether (I recommend this as you will only get more invested and hurt over time) or you accept the NSA sex, continue to miserably fight your feelings for as long as the set up works for you.

If he isn't interested in taking it further now and you've been seeing each other longer than a month or two it's incredibly unlikely he'll suddenly decide one day he wants a relationship with you. If he felt that way about you he'd have told you or will respond positively when you tell him how you feel. He may like you perfectly well as a friend but not have the same spark you do to take it further.

You gotta talk to him.

Whiskey Going out for dinner/staying over is where the lines begin to blur and feelings come in to play, imo. OP were you friends before or is it just casual sex?

Brian we've technically never been friends. From the beginning it was meant to be casual. I think my issue is now that i've developed feelings and I was not supposed to.

We always go out, cinema, drinks, lunch, dinner and meet each other's friends but I was not supposed to fall in love.