To be closer to my best friend than my husband?

[opalsandpearls]

Perhaps closer is the wrong word but certainly I feel more of a connection with her and we communicate more during an average day than I do with my husband.

Is this a sign of a very good friendship or a very bad marriage?

Not a very bad marriage but something definitely doesn't sound right to me. How long have you been married?

12 years, and were together for 7 years or so before that. So not a new relationship by any means.

I've known my best friend since we were 11 though.

I'm the same. My best friend is my soul mate, she totally gets me, I can tell her literally anything.

DP is a lovely, loving guy but we have never had that level of connection.

To me, it's normal. I wouldn't expect a man to be as emotionally intelligent as a woman, or to understand her life experiences the way another woman does.

Having said that, I wouldn't go on holiday for more than two nights with my best friend, as I would miss my privacy. With DP I'm happy to spend every night together pretty much.

That doesn't sound great. Are you happy in your marriage?

I'm closest to DP and very close to my best friend.

It can be a difficult marriage. Ilove him though. I'd never leave him, obviously.

Your relationships with each of them are different, but would you say one was more important to you? Could you get what you get from either of them elsewhere?

I get something totally different from my different friendships, siblings and my boyfriend, and that's fine.

I do have a friend whose emotional relationships with her female friends seem to be of ultimate importance, and she endlessly cheats/is in bad relationships, but never with her friends, IYSWIM?

Could have written this. Married for 8 years but together for 20. Known my best mate for 34 years and have been best friends for about 20 years. We've been through so much together and I know she just gets me even if we don't always agree.

We know everything about each other in detail and are happy to spend hours and hours and hours discussing these minor details where my husband is not.

She is better at providing me with emotional comfort and actually my DH is grateful for that as he's more of 'it's not that bad, the world didn't end and it's happened now best to move on' which is good sometimes but a lot of the time I need more wallowing time. Having said that if it's anything to do with the kids it has to be my DH every time. My DH comes a very close second and like a previous poster said I could spend every day and night with my husband but couldn't live with my best friend or go away together for more than a couple of days.

So no I don't think YABU nor do I think it is a negative reflection on your marriage.

YANBU!!!

Totally normal and lovely to be so close to a friend - its society that tries to ignore / minimise emotional relationships and love that exists outside of a marriage or partnership.

It is what it is. I have had many times in my life where I dont think my dp is the closest person to me. I dont think it needs to be a competition