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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dull food.

42 replies

Loveache · 04/09/2017 22:25

So it is transpiring that my DP can't cook. Together just over a year and been living together for three months. Same sex couple. She's vegetarian, I'm not, not a massive problem but admittedly a little tedious as she also won't touch anything spicy/salty/tasty and is frankly more of a carbivore than a veggie. When we moved in together I did most of the cooking because it was like a treat for me to do it (last place had kitchen that was basically unusable). However I'm a bit tired of being the one to look at what we have and create something and think ahead. It seems like she only knows how to make kids' food. Pasta in a sauce, bought pizza and grilled cheese toasties. All carb-heavy and not great choices. They have their place but everything is so bland and badly done. And I am so tired of enforced vegetarianism. Tonight's dinner was a bowl of overcooked pasta with a can of chopped tomatoes (and some garlic) chucked in. I'm fed up (and in pmt) and said so, asking her to make a bit more effort. I'm happy to teach, but the other party in all contexts has to want to learn. I think she's happy with toast and pasta tbh. I have rebelled and announced a strike. I am aware that there are plenty of people in this world who have nothing to eat and then feel guilty being ungrateful. Still fed up and hungry though. AIBU?

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 05/09/2017 06:13

I cook veggie food that can have chicken/chorizo/etc added as some particular stage e.g. pasta. Also, I have an excellent catalogue of halloumi/chicken recipes Grin

OP, when you lived alone, what did you do when you were too knackered to cook? Confused

heron98 · 05/09/2017 07:14

I am like your DP - really not arsed about food and happy to live off toast and pasta.

I once dated a guy who was really into cooking and it caused no end of friction. I didn't see why I should waste time trying to make nice meals I didn't really want to eat, and he wanted to spend our precious weekends doing things like making home made pasta. Why?!

It didn't work out, not just for that. But it's surprising how big an impact it had.

Katescurios · 05/09/2017 07:22

I would make up a couple of big batches of sauces and freeze them inpour and store bags. You could do a nice tomato and a nice creamy sauce. Then when your partner is doing a pasta meal she can grab a bag of good sauce and use that. You could add some chorizo or bacon lardons to tour serving for extra flavour and meatiness without really adding to the cooking time.

If you do a nice tomato base then she it comes toheating it up you can add fresh veg and noodles with a little water to make a soup or chilli powder and have it over pasta/potatoes.

You'd only have to batch cook once ever month or so and it would be an easy cook.

marl · 05/09/2017 07:48

DP is veggie. We do divide the cooking but he can cook - less so when I met him. Like you though I don't want to eat a meat-free diet. When I cook I often cook a meat-based dish but substitute quorn chicken pieces, which are actually nice, for him. So I divide the basic pot of food at a suitable point. Why not teach her to make a couple of simple things like stir fry and home made soup as a start, which at least can be healthy, and then have her scheduled for twice a week cooking on regular days which is manageable and then at least you know you don't have to think about it on those days. Or you could have once-a- week salads and write out a list of possible inclusions for that?

maddiemookins16mum · 05/09/2017 07:58

My DP can't cook, if they do it's bland, unseasoned and tasteless. I do all the cooking (DD helps out). DP does all the ironing and I rarely wash up after tea.
Works for us.
I agree about the meal kits, open a bottle of wine, stick Spotify on and make something together.

maddiemookins16mum · 05/09/2017 08:00

Oh and a bowl of pasta with tinned tomatoes for tea would have had me heading off down the takeaway for a nice, meaty kebab.

Buddy14 · 05/09/2017 08:03

That would be a dealbreaker for me.

She needs to be able to make a nice vegetable soup and to pull together a decent salad and make a nice dressing.

And then risottos, and some more pasta dishes.

Tell her it's like you offering dull sex (no foreplay, no effort) for the rest of her life and it matters to you .

Quartz2208 · 05/09/2017 08:06

What are you striking from? I think the thing is she likes the food she cooks and eats you like the food you do. Enforcing her to cook the food you want to eat is not nice.

echt · 05/09/2017 08:06

If someone was a shite cook, they'd need significant other skills to off-set this. DIY, for instance.

19lottie82 · 05/09/2017 08:11

You'd probably have her eating steak
and mince if you had your way which is terribly bad for you.

Eh? Confused steak isn't "terribly bad for you"!

RhiWrites · 05/09/2017 08:17

You could try one of the delivery box plans. I'm with Hello Fresh (and I can send you a code for a free box if you like). Instructions are easy to follow and the food is usually nice. Takes about 45 mins to make. And you can get a vegetarian box. I am veggie but my carnivore partner has no complaints about the tastiness of the food.

Original poster
Loveache · 05/09/2017 14:11

THanks for the suggestions. We're both off work today and I am about to give a first lesson...
Chances of being single by this evening looking pretty high!

OP posts:
Ecureuil · 05/09/2017 14:14

I'm not a great cook (well I can cook, I just don't enjoy it), so DH does the cooking. I do other jobs. Sometimes he can't be arsed to stand and cook... sometimes I can't be arsed to iron his work shirts. We both do it anyway. That's life.

teaandtoast · 05/09/2017 15:07

Good luck!

CoughLaughFart · 06/09/2017 08:48

*I don't understand how, if you're doing all the cooking, you're dealing with 'enforced vegetarianism'?

Well, surely the fact that you're living with a DH/DW who's vegetarian, that means you cook veggie food? Confused*

Cooking it, yes - not having it forced down your throat at gunpoint. If the OP is the one doing all the cooking what's to stop her having a chicken breast cooking in another pan, for example?

marvellouscreation · 06/09/2017 08:56

That's sounds rubbish.
Nobody has cooked for me since I was a teenager when I was expected to cook for our family of 5. I now have my own family so as much as I love cooking I'd love someone to come and cook for me.

5rivers7hills · 06/09/2017 09:55

I had similar. A veggie DP that wasn't actually arsed about eating except as fuel. Luckily he did like sonic and curries tho!

I worked the division of labour out as I cooked nice exciting food most of the time.

When I didn't want to we went out (lots of nice places to eat nearby).

Or I cooked some easy meat for myself and he sorted himself out.

Or he made one of his three dishes for us both. Occasionally.

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