I don't think iabu but I couldn't find a topic labelled 'have a rant here'
My exh and I have 2 dc together, we have both remarried and he has had another dc with new wife. We don't have a friendly relationship but we remain amicable for the sake of the kids. Both dc live with me and dh but I encourage as much contact as possible, make sure I tell exh about parents evenings and the like, at my request the school print 2 school reports, I guess I'm just trying to illustrate that I am trying my best to include exh in as much as I can in t he children's lives.
Up until last year exh paid maintenance on a regular basis, not a massive amount, less then the csa would have taken , but we reached a mutual arrangement that worked for us, he would make up the shortfall on things like more expensive then usual school trips paying half on a ski trip to France for example. I really thought we had a good arrangement and it was hassle free.
Just before xmas 2 years ago he informs me he can no longer pay child maintenance as he is suffering from anxiety and depression and has decided to leave his job to recover. I would like to be clear that I am not at all dismissive of this and accepted this would be a temporary change, assuming he would take steps to return to work in time.
In this time nothing has happened, obviously I don't know the details, it's not my place to know or ask and I feel I have been more then accepting of his situation. There has been no contribution whatsoever towards anything for the children. When they go to see him I send clothes, spending money etc. I know he does receive esa as he told csa would not take any maintenance payments from this benefit.
I am doing a degree and working part time around this and my dh works non-stop. We are by no means well off but we manage.
Sorry this is really long winded but I didn't want to drip feed!!
Dd's laptop broke recently, completely died, it wasn't a fantastic model or anything but it was an adequate workhorse and she used it a lot for school work. This is not something we can afford to replace immediately and hoped to be able to do this as an xmas present and in the meantime she is sharing mine. I did not expect exh in his current circumstances to replace. It either but dd told him it had broken. I then find out that the same weekend this happened exh went out and bought himself a brand new Alienware laptop.
I don't expect much from him but I hoped in this situation he might have thought about his daughters needs ahead of his own. Apparently gaming helps him to deal with his depression and saving for it gave him a goal to aim which has been invaluable to his recovery.
I'm really disappointed because I would have hoped if he had this much money saved he would have wanted to help.
Thank you if you made it to the end!!