Crazy tutor demanding only positive feedback AIBU?

[Blu99]

My sister has asked me to write this on her behalf. She would like some honest opinions from people outside of the situation.

My niece has just turned 10 and is about to go into year 6. She's a very bright child but forgetful and a worrier. My sister wants to give her some extra support and a boost of confidence ready for SATS and secondary school etc.

She found a tutor online and felt happy with her credentials and decided to begin sessions with her. It's been 6 weeks since she started and she's provided 5 sessions. It was a bumpy start due to, the tutor having several other commitment, only being disclosed after my sister had paid to access her information. It took over a month to get her a slot and even that was 'maybe this day at X time' then it would change with her offering unsuitable times.

After 2 sessions, the tutor messaged requesting feedback to be left.
'any positive comments will be appreciated' My sister felt that feedback should be organic and not prompted. She told her she would leave it when she was ready. The tutor responded "normally all parents have given me feedback after two lessons" She left it at that but reiterated that 'you can leave positive feedback when you're ready'

My niece was making progress so she continued with the sessions until this afternoon when the tutor messaged again saying "It's been a month and a quarter. I definitely need to keep updated with the clients I have so please leave me some positive feedback. It can be anything from enjoying the lessons or gaining more confidence or understanding more concepts. Even if you leave 5 stars without any comments, I will appreciate that" My sister responded saying that she felt it was inappropriate to be instructed to leave her positive feedback again. The tutor said she wanted to discuss the matter over the phone so told my sister to "please answer the phone when I ring"

My sister spent over half an hour on the phone while the tutor attempted to defend her actions, stating she's never had any complaints or issues before. She continually tried to speak over my sister and at one point sniggered when, my sister told her how unprofessional she was being. She couldn't comprehend that, she's providing a service so speaking to a customer in a rude and passive aggressive manner is inappropriate. Her words were " I don't work in a shop" she then backtracked saying it's client service not cusomter service

My sister was determined for her DD to have tutoring over holidays so persisted even though there were a few concerns. Overall, she provided satisfactory tutoring and my niece was begenning to feel comfortable with her. Although, she was overbearing (never stopped talking), my sister was starting to see positive results. It's her service, as well as her demand for positive feedback that, my sister feels is wrong. She would have left feedback by now if the tutor hadn't demanded it.

AWBU to think that feedback should be left at your own volition not prompted or demanded? Are we right in thinking this tutor is crazy?

I'm surprised she continued using her. SWBU to not leave honest feedback.

I'm a tutor. Yes, she sounds crazy!

She sounds nuts. Find a new tutor.

It's probably for recommendations so she can say she gets 100% good feedback or has loads of sound bites for testimonials.

I'm surprised she continued to use the tutor too considering that she was so unprofessional and only satisfactory. I wouldn't leave any feedback.

I have been to a couple of new classes/ clubs that have kindly asked for feedback on Facebook. I think it's quite standard in this age of digital media where a company can be made or broken on its online reviews.
They have never persued or demanded it though and the rest is just odd.
Just leave it now. Not worth getting upset over really.

Sack the tutor and leave feedback stating why.

I had a weird Ebay seller once who kept messaging me saying "can I have my feed?" and "I don't understand why you won't"
It was so odd. I refused to leave any on principle!

Feedback should always be honest and unprompted.

I do tutoring but I'm always nervous about requesting feedback (I use the same company as this tutor by the sounds of it) as I always worry about it - even though I think I'm doing a good job.

She was unprofessional to push the issue when your sister said she would leave feedback when she was ready. However, her livelihood depends on positive reviews and word of mouth so I don't think asking for feedback initially was wrong.

I do feel that your sister's blank refusal to provide some positive feedback, despite continuing to use her services (and acknowledging that her daughter has made progress as a result) is quite passive aggressive and petty.

I like this novel approach to feedback. I should have tried it at appraisals time. I can see it now;

'Well Spudlet, we've identified some areas for development. Here wills include...'

'Let me just stop you there, boss. I am willing to accept positive feedback. Areas for feedback might include my all-round wonderfulness, amazing conscientiousness, fabulous attitude, or perhaps my stunning beauty or rapier wit? I'll leave it up to you.'

'Erm...'

'It's your own time you're wasting, boss.'

She sounds bonkers. Who needs that stress?

'I don't work in a shop' how is tutoring children an different? I know people who do both, it's not like she's more qualified or her job is somehow anything more than menial. This woman sounds like she needs to pull her head out of her arse. With her fear of criticism she wouldn't last one day in a shop, that is for sure.

spudlet!!

What utter b@ll@cks! I have been a private tutor. She sounds very unprofessional and immature. I NEVER harass people for positive feedback. When my students passed their exams AND if the parents offered, I asked them to leave a positive review on my FB page.

If you have gone through an agency I would say something to them.

'I don't work in a shop' how is tutoring children an different? Umm....

Thank you for all your replies.

My sister decided to persevere with the tutor because she was getting positive results and before the phone call this evening, there wasn't anything alarming. She asked for feedback and that was fine, my sister just wanted a little more time to form an opinion and see how her dd progressed. The phone call was the nail in the coffin.

Feedback via which medium?

I would leave negative feedback on Google for a start, it just needs to be honest. Find the DN a better tutor, there are plenty out there!

I'm a tutor too and I'd much rather get lots of personal recommendations and introductions to new students than have a few extra stars on FB or whatever.

She's on a website called Tutor Hunt so I don't think feedback is compulsory. When a career is reliant on good word of mouth/feedback surely you want it to be honest and geniune.

She's on a website called Tutor Hunt

I'm on that one. It's not compulsory - you get sent an email prompting you to ask your tutees for feedback.

I hate asking for feedback. I have one from an 8 year old girl I tutored - and her feedback was lovely.

Yeah that sounds ridiculous. I think if things were going well and it had been a couple of months and the request was phrased politely as a "If you get the chance, would you possibly be able to leave me some feedback online please - no worries if you can't though" then that would be completely appropriate. I wouldn't give feedback on principal now!!

I would have stopped using that Tutor and I'd have told Tutor Hunt why.

I think that asking for feedback after only a couple of lessons is quite suspicious. It's if they know that you won't think they are that great in the long run and want feedback before you realise. I would want to give feedback after I had seen the results (or not).