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If you have a poorly child in the house, do you warn people before they come over??

21 replies

Flamesparrow · 03/04/2007 08:30

Always fun posting in AIBU

Was going to my dad's on Saturday for a birthday meetup (mine), knew stepneice had had sickness last weekend but as I had heard nothing, assumed all was well.

Arrived to find stepnephew very miserable, that he was on no solids due to bug. Couldn't turn round and go home then though!

Call yesterday to say my dad has it now, and lo n behold... DS has the shts this morning so bad the poor boy stood up and it just poured out of his nappy & wrap (never* had that happen).

I am really - I know it was my birthday meeting, but at the end of the day I should have been given the choice over exposing my children to a stomach bug. I have now lost 2 days of the easter holidays - I have a load of shopping I have to get done today, and I can't risk going if he is going to be like this (its not fair to him to have him sat in a sh*tty pushchair until I find somewhere with baby changing), and I will have to cancel my plans for tomorrow because my friends obv won't want to see us within 24 hours of this

AIBU??? Should they have told me and given me the choice about going???

OP posts:

spudmasher · 03/04/2007 08:32

Surely this is common courtesy?
You never know what health issues other people have and may be keeping private e.g. early pregnancy, compromised immune system etc.
Some one could be put at risk.


Marina · 03/04/2007 08:32

YANBU. I'd expect to be told, and would always warn - especially with squitty bugs, which are always a trial for small children even if short-term. Hope he feels better soon and you don't get it too


Dior · 03/04/2007 08:32

Message withdrawn


MuminBrum · 03/04/2007 08:35

I'd be furious!


sassy · 03/04/2007 08:36

D and V - def warn.I would cancel if it was recent and still likely to be infectious.
Cold - prob not unless visitor hs small baby/is v old/otherwise immune-challenged.
Your folks were BU. You are not.


lizziemun · 03/04/2007 08:37

No your not being unreasonable. I just don't understand why some mum's do this. I mean why would you take out a child thats been ill or is still ill. Even school say that you have to keep children away for 2 days so the bugs can't be passed on. So why is it ok to pass onto family and freinds.

I would have phoned to cancel or rearrange. I have done this when anyone of us has/is ill.


RubberDuck · 03/04/2007 08:41

Definitely not unreasonable. I'm not sure I'd even invite anyone over, let alone not warn them about it.

I don't warn for colds though unless child is particularly miserable with it or a very young baby/pregnant woman is involved.


edam · 03/04/2007 08:45

You are right, they were wrong.


sniff · 03/04/2007 08:48

your right I would always tell someone even if they didnt have kids what was wrong with mine first and wouldnt have taken the children to anything with a sickness bug

your right to be cross


Flamesparrow · 03/04/2007 08:48

Thank you - feeling more justifiably now... asn't sure if I was just overreacting. Colds I have no issue with, but I do tell people I know have very young babies.

Guess I shoudl phone the dentist... no-one will want to babysit for him now (or maybe ?)

OP posts:

dan4han · 03/04/2007 08:49

I always do we missed our newphews party sunday because me and my dd had a bug like that. Also my sister is pregnant too. However much you would like to go, if we are ill i wouldn't wanna give it to everyone. So i think they were being unreasonable.


RedFraggle · 03/04/2007 09:54

I would be furious! I'm not bothered about colds, but to deliberately expose people (and small children especially) to a stomach bug is bang out of order!

Have a friend who is not speaking to me at the moment as I cancelled our meet up when she told me at the last minute that she had a stomach bug. She hadn't told me that she was ill at all until our plans evolved to include lunch and then THEN she told me because she didn't want to go lunch as she couldn't eat!!

I'm 7 months pregnant with a 22 month old toddler FFS. Why would I want to expose myself and my little one to the sh*ts?

You are right to be very, very cross in my opinion!


kslatts · 03/04/2007 10:33

You are not being unreasonable. I would always let people know if we were ill and they were due to visit.


ScottishThistle · 03/04/2007 10:36

Common courtesy to inform people of illness before they visit I think!


bewilderbeast · 03/04/2007 10:39

yes they should. I went to a friends a few weeks ago and her ds was ill, she hadn't told me. I kept my ds as far away from hers as possible without being totally rude but by the next day he was ill with the same thing and has only just recovered. I was really I always tell people if ds is ill or I cancel things because I don't want him to pass his germs to anyone else.


Troutpout · 03/04/2007 10:39

Yep....My mum was due to turn up on my birthday on Saturday for a week. dd had almighty squits and was vommin for England so i phoned on Friday and told her not to come.
I am over the top..i practically warn the postman.


tibsy · 03/04/2007 10:46

you're not being unreasonable at all. it's common courtesy i would have thought as well as common sense. and the shits is no joke esp in lo's or those 'compromised' in some way


LowFatMilkshake · 03/04/2007 10:50

You are not being unrasonable at all.

DD has just had chicken pox an I have kept us completely in exhile for nearly 3 weeks incase DS came down with it as well - which he has'nt. We missed a PG friends birthday party, a Christening and DD has been driving me nuts through her boredom.

The only person we have seen is a DD's friend from pre-school who was spotty too - misery loves company as they say.

Out of order that contagious children were taken to a family get together - and stomach bugs are the worst. Very for you and poor DS


sheepgomeep · 03/04/2007 10:53

hello flamesparrow! [waves] did you get my email a couple of weeks ago
thought i wasgoing to be off line for a while but my mum paid the phonebill.

i don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I always warn people if the kids or I are ill, I'd never forgive myself if someone became really ill because they had caught a bug off me or the kids. I had to stay away from the hospital a few days ago as I had a tummy bug, if my dad catches it he will be very ill indeed.


margo1974 · 03/04/2007 10:54

Colds - usually no problem but I did let my friend know as she was due to visit and she is suffering from ME. I had to cancel 3 times.

Gastric bugs - You should tell - definitely


Flamesparrow · 03/04/2007 14:19

Did you not get my reply sheepgomeep??

I had a whole pile of emails bounce back that day though, so it could well be that yours was one of them

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