To feel let down?

[moutonfou]

I had a mother who was very resistant to seeking medical attention. She had a very strong sense of civic duty and seemed to think she was needlessly using up resources by seeking medical attention for things that could be treated at home. Which is laudable in some situations but I feel she took it to excess.

I once sprained my ankle very badly; it was dismissed as 'just a sprain'. I hobbled around for weeks, it became unstable and I was always going over on it. It's never been right since and having just gone to a physio now I'm still having pain 20 years later, apparently I have an extra bone there and probably did some serious trauma to the tissue/ligaments which hasn't healed correctly.

I once finally went to the doctor after weeks of what my mum deemed to be 'the tail end of a cold', to be told I had a severe chest infection and asthma exacerbation and had been very close to being hospitalised.

My mum was absolutely lovely in all other ways but seemed to have this fear of 'taking up resources' and this kind of mentality (perhaps inherited from her parents who'd lived through the war) to 'make do' and 'carry on'. AIBU after my physio appointment to feel a bit let down in retrospect?

YABU.
Although I have sympathies with your ankle problems, this is not a current issue. Let it go, you're an adult now who can decide for him/herself when to go to the doctors.

She seems to have been wobbling around the line of child abuse. Medical problems need treating by medical professionals as you have found out to your cost. It was her responsibility to ensure you got appropriate care and she failed

YANBU to feel like this, I can see why you would feel upset and let down. I think you need to acknowledge these feelings, but also try and realise that you can't change the past and the way that your mother was. She obviously was very resistant to seeking medical help for reasons which made sense to her, I don't think knew the implications it would have on your life and she probably never intended for there to be long lasting implications for your health today.

Yanbu. It doesn't matter what her weird line of reasoning was, she refused to take a child in her care for necessary medical treatment. That is neglect.

Are you certain of her reasoning?
I had 2 quite serious accidents and my dm didn't seek medical help as she was worried about being blamed. . She was a single parent and not the best dm going. .
Not abuse just somewhat neglectful.