So we have a big birthday coming for my grandmother (70th)
As we live in different places she decided on a city and we arranged to met there for the weekend in a few months.
When this was first discussed, i set up a group chat so everyone could keep up to date.
Que my Aunt (nanas daughter) wading in, it has to be this date, in case "i want to take mum elsewhere", i've booked a expensive aparthotel (for herself! no one even asked her)
My DDad and 'our side' aren't wealthy and have been looking at low/medium price accommodation.
Were as my Aunt likes everything expensive, bars, restaurants etc. Sadly she does not have the income to support this, but hey ho.
My grandmother is more like us, eats in whetherspoons/chain pubs, but she wouldn't pay as we would pay her share.
I'm not sure exactly what my gran would like, she likes a drink, not 3 days of it though!
Our side have been concerned that its getting out of control, that expensive places, restaurants/ cocktail bars will be booked without discussion.
Meaning awkward discussions or getting into debt.
Also we had decided to stay in an air bnb flat and i would take my children (10&8) and do the day and evening things, but not go out at night.
I have mentioned to my grandmother that i would be taking the children.
So today (via my DDad) my Aunt declares no children, as she plans to get a stripper.
OK, i think, that does not affect me as i'll be taking the children back anyway.
My Aunt repeats to my dad, no kids. She's organising it and that's final.
For reference, i have a stepbrother (16) two brothers (17 but with additional needs) and my children who had all been told they were coming away with us.
So, this afternoon i use all my MN wisdom and explain that i will be taking my kids (as discussed from day one) and not to count me in any numbers for evening stuff.
I am then met with ' no kids, its not for kids, i'm not catering for them'
(When she said catering, not actual catering, there's not a party or anything)
I explained that i was not asking permission, but that i was informing her they would be coming, as they see their great grandmother once every 2 years roughly.
I still plan on doing day activities, lunches etc.
Again i was told no. She is organizing it, its not for kids. - This means she plans on drinking for 3 days and nights
(think a north docklands city with a ferry - not Vegas)
This went on longer, back and forth, ending in me telling her i'm in my 30's and she cant tell me what to do (childish i know!)
Anyway as i cant afford two trips to see my grandmother, i've decided to fly to her home after her birthday and see her
AIBU to feel bad about this?
TBH i know it was going to be a stressful weekend, being expected to eat expensive places and be shamed if we don't go.
Also i cant see me lasting the weekend with her, without an argument and i dont want to spoil my nanas birthday. (which my aunt will fully control anyway as everyone is afraid to stand up to her)