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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is turning 30 important?

62 replies

Neoflex · 04/09/2017 13:07

Is it important to celebrate your 30th birthday?
I am turning 30 this year but I cannot celebrate on the day because it coincides with something else much more important.
So I was thinking of ignoring my birthday completely.
DH thinks I should plan a big party 6 months later for 30.5 years old. He says it is important to celebrate these big milestones and I will regret it later if I don't.
I don't know if I can be bothered or if I really care. AIBU if I ignore it and just go into my 30s quietly?

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 05/09/2017 13:48

I didn't have a 30th celebration or a 40th (although we went to NY) so I did have a whacking great 50th (but not a surprise one because I wanted to be in control).

Entirely up to you what you want to do.
For Dh's we did trips!

Nikephorus · 05/09/2017 13:56

If you were told you wouldn't live to see your 30th birthday then I guess it's important - otherwise I don't think it's any different. Your birthday, your choice of celebration.

Camomila · 05/09/2017 14:05

I think any occasion like a milestone birthday/wedding/graduation is good for a celebration. The more celebrations the better IMO, luckily my DH and parents think like me too.

I turn 30 just after Christmas so we are all going to spend Christmas back in Italy and having a big party with grandma, aunties, cousins etc on the day. If there's snow on the ground we might even get to ski for a couple of afternoons. I can't wait :)

Ecureuil · 05/09/2017 14:11

I had a small baby who was still waking multiple times a night so didn't have the energy for much! In the end DH and I (and baby DD) went away for a night to a country lodge. It was lovely.
It completely depends on your personality and how you like to celebrate I guess. SIL was 30 this week and you'd think she was celebrating winning the nobel peace prize Grin. Party, meals out, massive cake, weekend away... she's had a fab time!

Ttbb · 05/09/2017 14:16

Nope. Haven't had a birthday party since I was 13. Go to lunch if you want do but there is no obligation to have a big party.

heron98 · 05/09/2017 14:40

I went to Pizza Hut with one friend for my 30th. I don't regret it.

lozzylizzy · 05/09/2017 16:11

I had a few of our best friends round for a curry and a few drinks. It was nice.

Fintress · 05/09/2017 16:55

Do what you want, not what others expect. I don't like a fuss so don't celebrate milestones. However on my 30th birthday my friends threw a surprise party for me. I had great fun and did enjoy it and was very grateful but would never have agreed to if I'd known about it!

fridgepants · 05/09/2017 18:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 05/09/2017 19:37

I didn't celebrate my 30th birthday a couple of months ago. I'd just had another miscarriage so I just couldn't face a celebratory thing. DH and I went away for a long weekend a few weeks after my birthday and told anyone who asked that that was birthday 'thing', but actually it was just a 'we need to get away' break. I wondered at the time whether I'd really regret it later; if so, hasn't kicked in yet! I think these things are only fun if you want them, so if you're not bothered I don't think there's any rule saying you must do something. If you really, really regret it you can always go crazy for your 40th!

5rivers7hills · 05/09/2017 21:10

I had a big party but then I like hosting parties! I was really pleased I did it because I don't usually make a fuss about my birthday because it is close to xmas.

OrangeFluff · 05/09/2017 22:12

Lonoxo Snap! I went to Iceland with my Husband for 5 nights. I got to see the Northern Lights on my actual birthday, so pretty magical and a birthday I'll never forget.

MakeItStopNeville · 06/09/2017 00:40

My 30th was pretty quiet and I was quite reflective about it all. I was pg with my 4th child and I mainly made myself a plan of things I wanted to achieve by the time I was 40, none of which were about being "Mum".
My 40th was a massive party and I absolutely loved it. I danced all night and jumped into the pool in my dress and everyone followed.

And I absolutely smashed my list and then some. I'm writing another one now of things I want to accomplish by the time I'm 50.

Ginslinger · 06/09/2017 08:24

the only milestone I celebrated with a party was my 40th - although when I turned 60 I took the family on a fabulous holiday

Talith · 06/09/2017 08:31

I am miserable git who cringes at adults throwing birthday parties whatever the age so I'd say celebrate privately and don't put your friends out by making a big hoo-ha Grin

Lonoxo · 06/09/2017 10:38

orangefluff that sounds amazing. I'm a summer baby so almost 24 hours of daylight was the draw. We tried to stay up all night but called it quits at 4am in the morning.

alexjr · 06/09/2017 11:17

Just have a glass of wine and a slice of cake. 31 is just around the corner.

peterpancollar · 06/09/2017 11:38

We didn't have DC when I turned 30. I didn't have a party - DH & I indulged ourselves and went to the Maldives on a diving holiday. My 40th needed more organisation since childcare was required - a weekend away at the Waterside Inn in Bray involving dinner at the Fat Duck as a highlight was a fantastic memory for just DH & I.

If someone else completely arranged a party for my 50th (not at my own home) for which I didn't have to lift a finger but merely turned up, I wouldn't be aversed to it but since I can't see anyone doing that, I can't see it happening. It's way too stressful & hard work arranging a party for someone else let alone for your own birthday so no thanks! The smaller the number of people, the less hassle! An evening out without children occurs about twice a year for us so I would actually prefer an indulgent weekend away for the next landmark birthday.

tryingmother23 · 07/09/2017 07:13

I have never celebrated a big birthday, I hate the attention. I felt a slight cringe when my friends complied a photo album of our years of friendship for my 21st and was pushed into a joint party with another person celebrating their 21st. It was a lovely gesture but I cannot stand being the focus. I even had the smallest wedding ever. I don't think it is a big deal, it is just another day and there are all these other days of the year for people to show they care about you.

bookwormnerd · 07/09/2017 07:41

I didnt. I hate parties and been centre of attention.i had a new born baby so we had take away and did a nice day out with children. I dont regret it. My dh did have a party but he likes them more where im a introvert. Do what you want

AccrualIntentions · 07/09/2017 07:43

I don't like making a big deal of birthdays, so 30 was just another one for me. Had a weekend away with my husband, but it wasn't on my actual birthday weekend, it was about 2 months later.

InDubiousBattle · 07/09/2017 08:22

I was awful on the run up to my 30th! Very moody and unhappy about it so we just had a curry at the local restaurant as we might any other birthday. Don't regret it at all-well I do the moody but but not the curry!

Tilapia · 07/09/2017 12:36

I had a big party to celebrate my 30th. It was fab!

KimmySchmidt1 · 07/09/2017 12:38

I like parties but didn't celebrate my 30th in a big way - I think your other half should butt out.

BlueberryPuffin · 08/09/2017 01:44

It's not objectively an important thing. It's really up to you. I like a good party but prefer not to be the host and don't really care about my age, so I never did anything big for any milestone birthdays. Not bothered.