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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wibu to put him back into nighttime pants?

31 replies

Monoblock67 · 04/09/2017 12:43

My son is 4, and has in the past gone through occasions of bedwetting. Usually it lasted for a week or two, then stopped by itself. Recently though, he's been doing it every night, and this has been ongoing for about two months now. He's typically dry during the day, only has 'accidents' if he's too engrossed in something and is disciplined for these appropriately.

We limit drinks before bedtime, he does a pee before bed, and he can easily get out of bed and the toilet for another pee if he needs one, before he actually falls asleep.

I'm not angry with him in the slightest with this, and he knows this, I know he can't help what happens when he sleeps. But I'm getting fed up with washing sheets every day, and I'm also worried about his skin-he develops a rash from time to time which I'm sure is a urine burn.

wibu to put him back into night time nappies? I've actually bought some today, not baby nappies the nighttime pant ones. I don't want to upset him by doing this but at the same time I don't really see another option at this moment in time-I'm sure it's just a phase but unsure if night time pants will help or just make it keep on happening!

Has anyone else done this with their kids? All insights appreciated!

OP posts:

mummymeister · 04/09/2017 12:46

rather than getting cross with him, even during the day, it might be worth trying to find out why its happening. you say its usually when he is really engrossed in something so perhaps you need to make an effort to interrupt him and ask does he need a wee to stop this happening. 4 does seem on the average side to be dry at night but he may have a physical/health issue so worth discussing with your gp or health visitor. some kids aren't dry at night until 7 or 8.

HiJenny35 · 04/09/2017 12:52

Yes my nearly five year old was dry for over two years and then when I went in to hospital to have my youngest she started wetting the bed, at first about twice a week for three weeks and then about once a month. However I had the opposite, I've never told her off about it however she has got really worried about doing it and wants to wear pull ups to bed about twice week. I just put a bag under her bed and she puts them on when she is worried about it however she has never been in them.

Original poster

Monoblock67 · 04/09/2017 12:53

Oh I don't get cross with him, what I mean is that he gets disciplined i.e. - no screen time that day or likewise.

I know, it's just tougher because he was previously dry at night so I'm not sure why he's now not! A discussion with the GP is a good idea though, I guess I've been avoiding it in the hope that it was just a phase, but he comes first obviously.

OP posts:

ScipioAfricanus · 04/09/2017 12:55

My son was in daytime nappies until nearly 3.5 and nighttime until 5 (I think - he'd definitely started school). I'd learnt my lesson from previous parenting incidents not to rush things with him. As a result, we had only about four days of potty training and only the odd bed wetting (fewer than once every two months I would say). So from my very limited experience I think it's fine to be in night time nappies for longer. The health visitor told me tales of doom when he wasn't potty trained at 2.5 that I would miss my window and he'd be in day time nappies at school etc, which obviously didn't come to pass.

mummymeister · 04/09/2017 12:56

mono - why would you discipline him if its not his fault? you don't know that he can help it, it might be a medical issue. some kids genuinely take years before being dry completely during the day and night. its all to do with nerve endings etc. don't take his screen time away. know that it happens and interrupt him.

grasspigeons · 04/09/2017 12:59

Is he drinking enough in the day
Is he particularly tired so simply not waking

It sounds like he possibly is producing the hormone they need to be dry if he has had longish dry periods but I don't know if that is something that can wax and wane in the early days

I got quite strong advice from GP and enurisis clinic not to use night nappies. My son was not waking and an alarm worked within a few days. My friends child wasnt drinking enough earlier in the day so had to drink more.

But that said I always feel it's good to tackle things in a happy place, so giving you and your child a break from wet bedsheets for a week or so might give you time to look into the cause with no anxiety.

Original poster

Monoblock67 · 04/09/2017 13:01

i discipline him because he's perfectly capable of going to the toilet during the day, as he does, because it makes him think about the consequences of his actions. It doesn't happen often enough to make me think there's a medical issue for daytime urination. He can go months without any daytime issues, it's just on occasion.

OP posts:

Original poster

Monoblock67 · 04/09/2017 13:03

grasspigeons thank you for that detailed and very helpful reply! He probably doesn't drink enough during the day, we do what we can but it's hard to monitor when he's at school. And he is a very very heavy sleeper so that possibly also contributes.

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Cakeycakecake · 04/09/2017 13:06

My four year old is still in night nappies- very full come morning too, so I've not attempted night time toilet training. What age are you supposed to!

Cakeycakecake · 04/09/2017 13:07

^that was supposed to be a question mark not a !

Original poster

Monoblock67 · 04/09/2017 13:09

Cakeycakecake I probably stopped night nappies about a year ago? I didn't wait till he was waking up dry, to be honest I can't remember why I did it but I did and it worked for a while! They're all different though, don't think there is a 'right' age.

OP posts:

user1494409994 · 04/09/2017 13:27

Mine wasn't out of night time pull ups until he was six. My fault more than his though. I just didn't address it but as soon as we talked about it, he was fine and stayed dry most nights with an occasional accident. If he was mine, I'd be putting him in pull ups again and when you get a spell of them being dry in the morning, have a talk to him about it.

joannegrady90 · 04/09/2017 13:49

Mine was also still in night nappies til age 6, dry in the day at 3.5

She's now nearly 9 and no bed wetting. 4 is still very young mine was having little accidents about once a week at that age.

Don't feel guilty it may be best to put him in pulls up for nighttime.

confusedandemployed · 04/09/2017 13:53

My DD is 4.5y and I've only just started to get rid of nighttime nappies. She had a good week last week but was wet last night. I don't think they always become completely dry straightaway. The vasopressin kicking in can sometimes be a bit inconsistent.

UnicornRainbowColours · 04/09/2017 14:02

no more liquids after tea time, and when you go up to bed take him for dream wee. Don't put him back in nappys.

TooGood2BeFalse · 04/09/2017 14:39

ScipioAfricanus I had the exact same experience as you. I didn't know it at the time, but DS1 has HFA. I didn't even think about potty training before 3 as he wasn't communicating brilliantly. Then once he hit 3 and really started talking, waited till about 3 yrs 4 months and he picked it up literally in about 4 days.Refused night nappies and has literally never wet the bed.

TooGood2BeFalse · 04/09/2017 14:41

Sorry OP I meant to say re:night nappies, if it takes the pressure off for a while, why not? You might find he stops automatically once he's not worrying about it.I wouldn't personally discipline him for it though, adds to the tension perhaps, but you know your DC best.

Boatmistress17 · 04/09/2017 14:45

Wetting the bed during the night can be hormone related. My 8 yo ds still wets the bed. . Even if I wake him within 3 hours of his bedtime he can be wet. . Some nights he is dry all night. Hormones tell the brain to wake and wee. Sometimes not developed enough. Pyjama pants are more suitable for school age than pull ups.

Thirtyrock39 · 04/09/2017 14:53

Don't do the dream wee- won't help in long run as they'll still wet it not properly awake. You shd double void which means a wee when getting ready for Bed then story, teeth clean etc and then one last wee. You can take them for a later wee but only if they're properl woken up for this- my son still gets up most nights for a wee in the night
Try and get them to help taking wet sheets off bed- not as a punishment but to take a more active role and take some responsibility .
Avoid dark coloured drinks. It's important to increase fluids in the day and increase the time between loo visits to help with the bladder building capacity
See GP if this doesn't help for other options which are usually an alarm or medication also to check no other issue causing it (constipation puts pressure on the bladder )
Good luck

keely79 · 04/09/2017 14:56

Would recommend a bedwetting alarm. They're not expensive and worked within a week or so for DS (5). We found the issue with the nighttime pants was that they were so efficient that he wasn't motivated not to pee in them, if you see what I mean.

JustinOtherdad · 04/09/2017 14:59

Rodger bedwetting alarm. Odd name but it worked within 3 days on our daughter after months of nighttime accidents.

Fax · 04/09/2017 15:01

Give both of you a break and put him in pull-ups. He'll get there in the end.
One of my boys was dry day and night at 3 and the other was wet at night until 6 and had day time accidents until 9. Nothing wrong with him just late.
I really think your punishment for accidents is hard though.

MrsJoyOdell · 04/09/2017 15:03

Don't dream wee! It goes against all advice. I'll second the bed wetting alarm, and avoid any red/purple juice. My eldest sons were 7 before they were dry, my youngest is 6 and still not ready. Some kids are just older, it's hormonal.

Original poster

Monoblock67 · 04/09/2017 15:41

Some really, really helpful advice here guys, thank you very much. Off to google bedwetting alarms!

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Original poster

Monoblock67 · 04/09/2017 15:53

Ahh may have an issue with the alarm-he's a very very heavy sleeper and if it does wake him it'll probably wake up his little brother too (bunk beds!)

I'm not one for dream wees anyway, but I'm 5 foot nothing and he's on the top bunk, it would be really impossible to lift him down from there without me dropping him, the pot soul!

Interesting about dark coloured juice; I haven't heard that one before, that's an easy change.

And he usually does a pee, then rest of routine, then back for another pee before settling.

I am worried about night time pants causing confusion or becoming too efficient! Have booked a GP apt to discuss and see what they say. And defunieuly encouraging the fluids, he's came back from school without anything out his water bottle

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