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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a favour isn't a favour when it just causes the helper a load of hassle?

6 replies

Catastrophejane · 03/09/2017 22:47

First time poster, so please be gentle! The situation is this: I asked ex-h to help me move an old sofa out of former marital home so it could be picked up by council's bulk uplift. He agreed. As is standard with council, they stipulated it could only be moved onto street the night before and be ready for pick up at 6am. It leaves a narrow window to do what is a 15 minute job. Ex- h originally said he'd come after work day before and help out. But on the day, he said he's going for a couple of drinks after work. You can guess where this goes...am left hanging for hours, avoids texts and calls I made to arrange eta ...until he eventually texts that he'll come round at 6am to move it as needs a drink. As little other option agree and go to sleep. Further text at 2am - he can come round now. I say let's stick to 6am plan. Of course, he sleeps in and arrives at 7. Luckily council pick- up hadn't arrived, so all ok in end. However, I was annoyed and frustrated at being mucked around and was curt with him. Now he says I'm an ungrateful bitch and this is another example of why I'm such manipulative cow. AIBU to be pi**ed off at his so-called 'favour' causing me hassle?? Would appreciate some perspective!

OP posts:
SheldonsSpot · 03/09/2017 22:50

YANBU - who the fuck thinks 2am is an acceptable time to come over and lug furniture out into the street? What a wanker.

Be grateful he's an ex and don't ask for any favours from him again.

Catastrophejane · 03/09/2017 22:50

That is meant to read 'when it cause the 'helpee' a load of hassle!! Auto correct strikes again!

OP posts:
ClandestineAdulation · 03/09/2017 22:50

He should've stuck to his word; if he wasn't able to help out, he could've let you know. A favour is a favour, and usually only one party benefits, so you have every right to be (at least!) curt if he struggles to fulfil the commitment.

I'm sure he won't be your first port of call next time!

Catastrophejane · 03/09/2017 23:04

Thanks SheldonsSpot! He does such a good line in self righteous pomposity that sometimes I wonder if it is me.. I am definitely taking your advice! Grin

OP posts:
Catastrophejane · 03/09/2017 23:12

Definitely not Clandestine! Should have remembered why I divorced him...

OP posts:
OrangeJulius · 03/09/2017 23:15

If this is normal behaviour from him I can see why you're divorced.

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