Do you think advice given on here is generally good, or not?

[SomethingInnocuous]

After reading quite a few threads on here I sometimes think the advice is a bit extreme, or the OP gets a disproportionately hard time compared to advice you would give a friend in RL. Is this just me? Do you think advice given on this forum is generally pretty good?

I have seen some very kind and helpful posts to people but more often than not think its a little bit needlessly aggressive.

I think more people are kind than are needlessly aggressive - but you're right that the needless aggression exists and at an increasing level. But sometimes what the OP is clearly feeling is way too harsh as a response is actually what they need to hear - I've had that experience myself, where in hindsight I was being a complete fool and I needed internet strangers to tell me so. What increasingly worries me is the factually inaccurate advice you see given sometimes - medical/legal/housing/whatever.

I think most of the advice is pretty bad

Depends whether the advice you're looking for is LTB.

No, mostly not great on aibu anyway. Have had good advice elsewhere

I think the advice is generally good

Sometimes advice is worryingly bad like regarding LL/tenants rights

Mostly I think it's generally well intentioned. It's probably harsher than we'd give our friends because we don't want to hurt our friends feelings, whereas with a stranger online we can be blunter

No

On an anonymous forum the replies will always be more honest/extreme than you would ever give to a person in RL.

I find annoying the posters who go to extreme lengths to find someone OP is complaining about to be reasonable and OP to be unreasonable.

It's like it really hurts them to admit OP is being treated badly.

I think that the advice any one poster receives is incredibly varied. I can't recall ever reading a thread where the advice had been unanimous. The OP will usually choose the advice most in line with their own thinking and run with it, I find.

I think the quality of advice varies on different sections of MN. On AIBU it's usually awful but on 'relationships' for example posters are often really kind and insightful.

I think in general no, because there are quite a few posters who don't seem to see past their own situations/past relationships etc, and often have quite a blinkered view.

Also quite a few who come across as anti male, whether they mean to or not.

But having said that, there are a few really level headed sensible posters who do give good advice, although I think they're becoming a bit of a rare breed.

I think in general it can be pretty crappy advice. A lot of stuff is wrong and opinions given as facts. Then there are the ones (many) that just like to stick the boot in. Let's face it, a lot of stuff said on here would never be said in RL.

I've posted threads before and been absolutely flamed which was completely disproportionate (to the point I will no longer post a thread in AIBU or relationships) and when I've mentioned the same thing in RL, I had the exact opposite advice to on here. I tend to take a lot of stuff said on here with a pinch of salt. Very few people would talk the way they do and if they did they certainly wouldn't have many friends.

I agree with Pigface regarding the different sections of MN and the advice varying, although I can't say I find the advice in general very good at all in the Relationships topic.

Again, I think the really good advice is down to a small number of posters.

Just been on another thread and said that I think some of the responses to the OP were harsh. Think some people take out their own unhappiness/frustrations etc out on strangers on social media and online forums.

Actually, I think it can be pretty bad.

Posters immediately jump to the conclusion that the OP's DH/DP is having an affair and even start providing their own narrative along with demanding that the OP LTB immediately.

It's pretty appalling to read a thread where an OP is being essentially bullied into believing that her DP/DH is cheating, she denies it and the responses are increasingly rude and more aggressive. Not to mention the demands for updates on threads where there has been infidelity. It's really quite distasteful that OPs who are vulnerable in relationships which are breaking down are hounded for dramatic updates.

Oh absolutely re the demands for updates - like it's the next episode of EastEnders that they're craving. I think people forget that these are real people often in a really desperate, miserable place. Feeding the MN hysterics isn't going to be foremost on their mind.

I think that some posters giving advice without background knowledge or even probing for any history means that but advice is given.

I think very often bad. Or really extreme. But it varies - i have found some really insightful things here and other threads where i think posters use it to give very strange advice that wouldn't be welcomed in real life, like an outlet for an extreme point of view that is definitely not the norm. I also never read the relationship threads anymore it's always LTB and the heckling for updates is vulgar i think - people seem to forget it's actual real people they are dealing with. Also the aggression - dislike this and won't engage on these types of threads - i think they represent the worst side of women the utter pointless bitchiness. I take all of that with a pinch of salt but i think for posters who don't then the replies they get are probably actually a bit damaging. Mn is quite surreal at times and a huge mix - which is good, bad, entertaining and sometimes a bit depressing.

I've had some lovely advice and support on here tonight Likewise I try to help other posters, as in real life if I can't say anything nice I try not to say it!

I've seen some very dodgy advice on legal and HR matters on this site. There is a small core of posters who know their stuff but the amount of well-meant but inaccurate advice about things like divorce and employment contracts is worrying. No wonder Mumsnet has that disclaimer.

I don't think it's often advice that people should follow but I do think that if the OP considers what other posters are saying (even if it seems unhelpfully aggressive), they might get a different perspective on a situation and hopefully manage it a bit better.

In reality life, people just won't give you a straight point of view that contradicts yours so you can end up thinking that you're right and reasonable. Here, you will definitely get insights into how other people might react to what you're doing/propose to do and what the fallout could be.

Hopefully that is somewhat helpful at times.

I've had some really good advice on here. But I have read threads where OP has been ripped to pieces and left for the vultutes.

AIBU is the place where you find aggressive posters and also the most extreme advice.

But generally on mn, I find that the balance of the thread does give good advice. You need to filter it, and you get people with a bee in their bonnet who go against the flow. You also get times when one lone person who has a qualification is trying to stand up against 1001 people with an opinion. There is a thread like that at the moment about eviction. Loads of comment and opinion and one or two posters saying No, the law says x, y z, please don't listen to people syaing other things, and then they post a link to the law.

I think you do often see threads, especially in relationships where the OP says is this normal and loads of people come on and say no, and why it isn't and the OP gets a completely different view of their relationship, sometimes a really eye opening one.

There are also some amazing threads when something bad has happenedwhen posters are incredibly supportive, gentle, kind etc