Is catfishing a crime? Should it be?

[catfished]

AIBU in thinking it should be?

Recently catfished and virtually traumatised by it. It's fraud, surely?

Wasn't even a financial motive, just a very sick twisted individual

But I can't do anything with it, there's no justice, no closure yet I feel assaulted and scared to trust anybody now ever again

I don't know if it is a crime but yep, there ought to be some sort of consequence for those who do it.

I think perhaps you have to just put it behind you and have faith that not everyone online is an arsehole. But also accept that you're more likely to meet 'questionable' individuals on social media because it offers them the anonymity to behave badly.

Be nice to yourself for a while and try to spend time with friends who''ll take your mind off this.

I shared my reality with someone who only gave me fantasy. And they got kicks out of my reality... which was already traumatic enough

I thought I was safe. Getting to know them for a long time before meeting in person. Thought I was sensible! I was so unbelievably stupid in hindsight

Sorry to hear someone has done something cruel to you-- can you tell me what catfishing is?

Someone used fake photos, created a false persona and kept it up getting to know me for a long time

Then turned out to be someone else altogether

I think there is a danger in spending too long with someone online before meeting in person.

Sorry this happened to you. Hope you can put it behind you.

See I would do the opposite with online dating; meet within a week of contact. That way you know at least who you're dealing with. All the back and forth of online romance is lovely but you've no idea who they are and what percentage of their online identity is pure fantasy. At least if you meet quickly it prevents you getting attached to someone who isn't honest.

God that's awful op. So sorry you've had to go through this. for you!

Now I will do if I ever go back but it's made me suspicious as hell about everyone

And feel incredibly vulnerable and stupid and freaked out.

Was it someone you knew or a complete stranger?

Yanbu. I've seen things on other sites where's men bait women to get them to turn up and film them being catfished. It's frightening.

I honestly don't know. They were suspiciously interested in something in my past that really concerned me why they wanted information from me regarding it.

I didn't recognise them though, no

It is frightening, and it is a horrible thing to do, but it is also totally avoidable with even the most basic internet safety.

I'm curious, how is it totally avoidable?

@ItsAllGoingToBeFine how is it totally avoidable?

I had no reason to believe who I thought I was communicating with didn't exist.

Yes it should be, a few years ago someone stole my photos, I don't know how because all my photos were set to friends only - I only found out about it when I was out in department store and a guy I've never seen before came to me, and said hello and addressed me by a name that wasn't mine, he then when on to show me an online profile as well as conversations he was having through a messenger app with the impostor. I had never so felt violated!

That sounds horrific, it would make more sense to me if it's somebody from your past even if you didn't know them properly. Say like a boyfriends ex girlfriend sort of thing. I don't understand the idea of cat fishing a complete stranger ???

It terrified me. I'm not directly connected to but had knowledge of a historical crime that this person was digging on.

I think using someone else's images should be illegal.

OP, you say it concerned you that they wanted the information but you shared it with them?

I agree that there should be some kind of penalty for misuse of images (photos) but going by a friend's experience of this sort of thing online, with her there were clearly warning signs that she just ignored no matter how many times we pointed them out unfortunately.

If this person contacted you via online dating, have you let the site know as they will close the profile down. Did you meet up in person then?

I'm so sorry OP, what a horrible thing to happen. The same thing happened to me (platonically) - a friend of now-DH's ex befriended me via Twitter to dig for information and created a whole persona designed to make me want to be their friend. It was vile. Thankfully they slipped up before I had told them anything even slightly personal but it was still very upsetting so I can only imagine what you're going through. It's not your fault.

As for it being easily avoidable - I'm very Internet-savvy, I've been online since I was 11 and it's a huge part of my job, but it still happened to me. Some of these people are incredibly clever.

How did you find out they weren't who they claimed to be?

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

@CotswoldStrife I didn't think they could possibly be anyone with any links to it. Various reasons to assume they couldn't possibly be anyone but just a supportive ear

... I was very wrong and now I just don't know.

I found out through a revelation video

As in, they revealed it to you in a video? How very odd...I didn't know that was a catfishing "thing"

I never communicate for long before spaking on the phone, then learning their identity (then I do checks eg companies house, land registry, google) and then I meet. I do this very quickly indeed as nothing is real and nothing counts until you meet. Just put it down to experience and follow similar rules as those for the future.