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Original poster

Not to give a date a second go, over corny jokes??

37 replies

Startingfreshi123 · 03/09/2017 12:17

I went on a date last with a guy i met online last night. We have a great connection on the phone but in person, not so sure. He kept coming out with cheesy, dumb jokes. Initially, i giggled but i got bored of fake laughing and just politely smiled. Also he spoke quite fast and about himself quite a bit. He later apologised and explained he was nervous because he'd not dated in years. I believe him because the jokes were immature and nothing like the ones we have shared on the phone.
Shall I go on another date and give him a chance to relax and come into himself? Or do i just accept we don't connect and move on?

OP posts:
Anecdoche · 03/09/2017 12:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Startingfreshi123 · 03/09/2017 12:23

I think I'm just trying to work out who the real him is. I guess I'm dissapointed he wasn't comfortable in his own skin. However, I find that flattering, in a way.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/09/2017 12:27

Never go on a date you have to talk yourself into. It's not flattering, he's an adult who is in control of his own actions. You didn't connect, move on.

PollyFlint · 03/09/2017 12:37

When you say the jokes were cheesy/dumb/immature, were they just naff or was it stuff that you found a bit gross/sexist/whatever? If it actually made you feel awkward and uncomfortable then I'd give a second date a miss.

I think you can usually tell if someone's nervous or just being a bit annoying. What was your gut feeling?

Original poster
Startingfreshi123 · 03/09/2017 12:52

Polly, definately just naff. For example, he told his mum he was going on a date. She replied, with who? He said, 'nun-yah'.... I guess you can work out where the joke went from there! He just looked really proud of that one.
He's definately talkative and it wasn't unbearable.
Also, I know alot of chatty, vibrant characters in relationships with, more reserved partners.

OP posts:
chitofftheshovel · 03/09/2017 12:56

Fuck it, why not. He sounds nervous and that, to me, is a good trait in a person because they care how they come across.

FizzyGreenWater · 03/09/2017 13:52

Nun-yah? I don't get it Confused

Go with your absolute gut feeling.

Holowiwi · 03/09/2017 13:57

Nun yah will lead on to none of your business

FizzyGreenWater · 03/09/2017 13:58

Oh I see!!

I was trying to work out something to do with a nun...

Haha.

That's a laugh at myself btw OP not at the very unfunny joke...

Fluffyears · 03/09/2017 13:58

Don't get the jokeConfused but if he was nervous it may be worth meeting again if you do like him. My DPbarely said a word on our first date due to nerves so I babbled to fill the awkward silence and probably came across as someone who never shuts up.

sonjadog · 03/09/2017 14:09

If you had a great connection before, I´d give it another go. But if you feel the same after the next date, then that´s that.

Purplemac · 03/09/2017 14:13

You're not obliged at all Smile that said, if he seemed like a decent guy and you felt you had a connection beforehand, I'd give him another chance incase he just had a lot of nervous energy. Same on 2nd date? Wouldn't bother again.

user1493413286 · 03/09/2017 14:24

If you liked him on the phone I'd give him another chance as he may have just been like that out of nerves. I've said silly things on dates then thought why did I say that.

missmollyhadadolly · 03/09/2017 14:24

fluff Nun-ya. Nun-ya who? Nun-ya business.

OP, if you find the jokes trying at this stage, then it's really best to call it a day.

Original poster
Startingfreshi123 · 03/09/2017 14:48

Alot of mixed responses. Thanks all. My gut says go on a second date, only because he admitted he was nervous. But i don't know if he was just saying that when I asked him to slow down a bit. Or when I asked him to explain a naff joke. I'm just worried he's one of those guys that's so self-absorbed, he wouldn't even care if I was uninterested. He didn't ask me much and I think that's important on a date.

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 03/09/2017 14:50

Next

AlpacaLipsNow · 03/09/2017 14:57

I'd give him one more chance to redeem himself. Could be just nerves.

I'd rather a nervous but genuine person than a slick, sexist arse.

Porpoises · 03/09/2017 14:58

Often in my experience decent blokes, especially the shyer ones, get very nervous on a first date with a woman they like. The completely confident ones often turn out to be players - they do this all the time and the date doesn't mean anything to them.

I'd give him another chance but tell him straight up - no more cheesy jokes please. At worst you waste an evening, at best you can tease him about this in 6 months time.

expatinscotland · 03/09/2017 15:02

So if you hadn't asked him to slow down, he wouldn't have stopped, and he only threw out the nervous bit when you asked him to slow down.

'He didn't ask me much and I think that's important on a date.'

Please start listening to yourself and giving yourself the second chance to say, 'Hey, my boundaries are fine, it's okay to listen to my gut, I should put me first rather than some guy,' and just move on.

BarbarianMum · 03/09/2017 15:08

Its up to you. But i second the idea that there are a lot of really great but shy guys out there who don't perform well on the first date.

Gottagetmoving · 03/09/2017 15:10

If you really liked him the jokes wouldn't bother you so much?
He does sound nervous so may be worth another chance but as someone else said, don't go on a date you have to talk yourself into.

TheNaze73 · 03/09/2017 15:28

People that think they're funny & say shit like "I'm mad me" tend to be the most annoying people on the planet.

I'd bin him off

Original poster
Startingfreshi123 · 03/09/2017 16:08

[grin]@TheNaze! He actually kept saying, 'I'm crazy, you know! I kept thinking, not in an impressive way. Corny jokes didn't bother me too much. I think I was just shocked he wasn't speaking how we spoke on the phone. Not as pleasant and intimate. Maybe because we was in a busy London bar and he got caught up with all the energy.... overly bopping his head to the music at times too.(cringe).

OP posts:
Original poster
Startingfreshi123 · 03/09/2017 16:13

And can I honestly tell a date to quit his cheesy jokes? I am tempted (so I don't waste an evening) but I'm worried he might think I'm a bit up myself. He keeps reminding me that he is who he is and doesn't feel he should change. So he might take my suggestion the wrong way.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/09/2017 16:18

'He keeps reminding me that he is who he is and doesn't feel he should change. So he might take my suggestion the wrong way.'

Oh, c'mon! Just bin him off. Why overthink this? He was crap on the first date, bored you spitless, talked only about himself, then comes back and gaslights you when his behaviour didn't sit well with him. This is a no-brainer.

Don't waste an evening then. He can go bore someone else.