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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

House renovations

5 replies

Watbox · 03/09/2017 11:48

AIBU. Completed sale on house a month ago and our plans were to decorate and carpet and fit a shower into the very small loo downstairs by building it into an under stair cupboard. The day we got the keys the whole family came up to have a look and all gave very valuable opinions on how we should do this and that. It's a small house and we are a big family so using the space was key to a successful happy home. Anyway on my DH side his DU offered to do the work needed with his two friends who were in the building game plus as we were cash short his DU is paying his friends for us and we are paying him back later. His Labour is free. His DU however has taken over and now we have a new bathroom and shower room. New kitchen. Walls knocked down and put up etc. It's amazing and I love the work he's done even though we are 20k worse off. His DB offered to do the garden and all he's done so far is rip out the old garden and it's been left. Totally unusable and until it's finish DU can't do the lower floor and we can't move in. I've asked DH to have a word and maybe offer to spend the day doing it with him etc to pin him down. He offered to help we didn't ask and now I have a shit hole of a garden that's unusable and very dangerous. AIBU to think he should get on with it. I can foresee the bad weather is on its way and our move in date is being pushed back further and further. Any advise on how I can tackle it without seeming rude or ungreatful.

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MissEDashwood · 03/09/2017 11:54

Oh gosh that sounds like a nightmare, as it's family, unless you had a written agreement on work to be done, I don't know where you stand legally. Def NBU, what a nightmare.

Has it added anything to the space you didn't have before? Just trying to think of positives.

Maybe now lawn, deal with anything unruly, like weeds, but leave the garden till next year?

I don't want to sound judgey, but I will, do you think DU was short on work with his little helpers, so assumed it'd be no problem?

Hope you can come up with a plan. Flowers

fc301 · 03/09/2017 13:01

You will be judged whatever you say.

DH needs to step up & start tackling his relation(s).

Watbox · 03/09/2017 14:29

The garden was decked. It's all been ripped up leaving the frame and all the crap under it. Can't even lawn it. I have decided to ring BIL and just casually say. We are gonna be up at the house next weekend if you can meet us etc

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Lostwithinthehills · 03/09/2017 15:20

Did your bil offer to do the garden as a favour in his spare time? Is gardening his profession? Are you offering anything to him in exchange for his work? If it is his profession and he is getting payment or payment in kind for it then I think you can put pressure on him to complete the work. If he is doing the garden for you as a favour then I think you and your dh will have to put some work into straightening the garden out yourselves, with or without your bil's help.

Watbox · 03/09/2017 15:26

No it's not his progression and yes he offered as he's done his own garden. The 1st weekend he was so enthusiastic. Yes I think we will have to do it but we wouldn't have touched the garden till next year had it been left. Looked rubbish but was usable and safe.

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