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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

shameless post for traffic - DS has a sleepover, not dry at night - help!

33 replies

QueenOfTheSkies · 03/09/2017 10:30

DS is 7 and not dry at night at all. At home this doesn't bother him, he knows his body will learn in its own time (we have a family history of bedwetting so i'm not suprised/worried) however he has now been invited on a sleepover for one of his clubs. he needs to go to complete his challenge/award and he is worrying about the others finding out and teasing him for using 'nappies' (pyjama pants).

Sleepover is in 2 weeks - is this long enough to get something prescribed to help him? we had been avoiding medication as it doesnt bother him at home and i fully understand its a hormone thing that will come with time and up to now he's not had any sleepovers. I thought this sleepover was next year so thought he had more time to be dry!

so as not to drip feed - he drinks well in the day, only water with maybe one glass of squash a day (child sized cups). do drinks for the final 45-hour before bed.

anyone been through similar? is 2 weeks long enough to get him sorted? any advice grateful recieved!

OP posts:

oigetoffmycheese · 03/09/2017 10:37

Yes. It is. After age 5 the dr will prescribe tablets to tide him over for a sleepover. It's worth it. Think they're called desmomelts.

Good luck.

fastdaytears · 03/09/2017 10:40

Also, I'm a leader with a club for similar ages and we do sleepovers and expect to have to deal with this. With a bit of planning, the other kids don't find out. Well unless they tell each other which happens a surprising amount...(good that they're not embarrassed but still makes you laugh when you've gone to such lengths to be discreet)

NearlyEaster · 03/09/2017 10:41

If you get an appt ASAP you can see if the tablets work. If they do it shows it's just a hormone issue. You don't need to use them every night - you can pick and choose for sleepovers.

Alternatively a pull-up put on inside a sleeping bag and left in there afterwards (only works well for one night) might be an option? My DS's managed that for a few years before trying tablets.

LakeFlyPie · 03/09/2017 10:44

Would he manage pull ups inside PJ bottoms and a bag to seal it into in the morning?

Both of my DSs were late to be dry at night (7), I think it's pretty common when you start chatting to people about it.

Original poster

QueenOfTheSkies · 03/09/2017 10:48

oh great news that i may be able to get him sorted in time. I'm sure it's more common than people like to let on, i wasn't dry until my teens myself. The key is that it is worrying him and i want him to enjoy this 'right of passage' experience with his club so if there is a way to do that for him i will.

fastday good to hear from someone who has dealt with this at a club sleepover. i have tried to talk to DS about a last minute bathroom trip to put his PJ pants on but he's still worried people will hear it rustle as he walks. have sent a message to the club leader to as her thoughts on managing it in case the meds dont work for him.

OP posts:

chitofftheshovel · 03/09/2017 10:51

It is so so normal to not be dry at night at this age, I would imagine your DS won't be the only one. My daughter went on a sleepover with cubs aged 9 and not dry at night. I e mailed the leader just to let her know and DD wore a night nappy as usual.

As a beaver leader myself we had a wee boy who was very indiscreet about taking off his night nappy - nobody batted an eyelid, leaders and children alike!

Only1scoop · 03/09/2017 10:57

My dd was 6 and still in night pants when she did her first beaver sleep over. Leader is lovely and made sure she had some privacy. I always send a carrier bag to put used pants in also.

Dd also boards the odd night at school and still wears night pants. She's just started on desmopressin this week. Will see if that helps.

It's really, really common Op don't let it worry you too much. He'll have a fab time.

Original poster

QueenOfTheSkies · 03/09/2017 11:02

thanks chit and only1

I'm not worried he isnt dry, i expected it given our family history. but no amount of telling him isnt stopping him worrying about being teased. he had a rough time with bullying in y1 (unrelated to bedwetting) and it's knocked his confidence. he can worry about things and i dont want him to not enjoy the evening activities because he's worrying about bedtime.

only1 is the desmopressing working? or at least improving things?

OP posts:

MrsTrentReznor · 03/09/2017 11:13

Another one here that runs sleepovers at a club ages 7-10.
We have at least 2 that aren't dry every time. It's managed discreetly with pull ups and a trusted adult that the child can talk to quietly. We carry clean, spare sleeping bags etc.
The kids don't seem to notice or care to be honest!

Only1scoop · 03/09/2017 11:25

She's only been on them 3 night but 2 dry so that's good.

Dd was also worried re any teasing but she's quite discrete and the adults involved lovely. I think that helps. I totally understand where you are coming from. Dd main worry was where to put them next morning. I supplied her with a small strong carrier bag and said if she didn't feel comfortable binning them herself, to just bring bag home in her overnight stuff. Not ideal but fine. I didn't want her worrying in the morning. I told Beaver lady I'd done this too.

Good luck

Original poster

QueenOfTheSkies · 03/09/2017 11:30

thanks for the reassurance, good to know that my plan b of a sneaky toilet trip and a sturdy carrier bag will work if the meds dont!

only1 great news that it seems to be helping! fingers crossed for similar results here!

OP posts:

TinkysWinky · 03/09/2017 12:20

Really common but just a word of warning we dont just prescribe these in our area, we refer to enuresis clinic so you might not get desmopressin in time if the same where you are

Original poster

QueenOfTheSkies · 03/09/2017 13:03

thanks for that tinkys - our GP is a paeds specialist and has prescribed things previously that i know other friends in other areas have had to be referred for so fingers crossed it will be ok!

OP posts:

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 03/09/2017 13:28

queen

Both my boys wet til quite late

So i can absolutely vouch for the pullup/sleeping bag/ plastic bag system

Neuroticwoman · 03/09/2017 14:09

We have the exact same problem coming up (but ds is already taking desmomelts - which we had to wait until 2nd appt with enuresis clinic to have as they needed to assess his bladder capacity etc). The desmomelts have not been effective so we are waiting for next appt to try alarm. I think I'm going to speak to host of sleepover and let ds decide if he's going to tell friends. He doesn't usually use pull ups but wets every night - we use bed mats. Sorry that's not much help but not sure what solution is!

theymademejoin · 03/09/2017 14:23

The meds didn't work for my ds but what I found was he tended not to wet when away. He went on training camps for a sport he was involved in for 5 nights from about age 10 or 11 and never once wet despite being regularly wet at home. I think they sleep more lightly when they know there is an issue. He wasn't wearing pull ups. We were using bedmats at home.

I'd say the pull up under pjs and asking the leader for advice is the way to go.

MerryInthechelseahotel · 03/09/2017 20:16

Both my two stopped being wet at night with hypnosis. They were 8 and nearly 6yrs. It was simply an explanation of how the body works and then a story about (for a boy) imagining a soldier standing guard over your bladder at night and the soldier wouldn't let any wee past unless you're sitting on the toilet and the soldier can even wake you up if necessary. The story is best told when the child is quite sleepy. Very powerful.

Stoptherideiwannagetoff · 03/09/2017 21:20

Ds is 14 and still wet at night (absolute sodding p.i.t.a). When he sleeps over I have a mat ready wrapped in a sleeping bag and fresh shorts in the pillow case. Desmopressin sometimes works but not always, definitely worth a try!

VocalDuck · 03/09/2017 21:23

he's still worried people will hear it rustle as he walks

Could you give him an even rustlier bag to carry in his hand for when he walks back to his bed?

123dawn · 03/09/2017 21:28

My little boy is almost 7 and still wet every night. We've tried desmopressin and it works from time to time, but not consistently enough to not need to wear a pull-up. My son has been on a beaver sleepover and several of the other children were also not yet dry at night. It was handled very discreetly by the leaders, and is totally normal at that age.
My eldest son was not dry at night until 9, and my daughter (who is nearly 9) is also not yet dry at night although the desmopressin is quite effective for her. These things can definitely run in families.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 03/09/2017 21:29

We used pull-ups plus a onesie (so top of pull-ups can't be seen) for my DS when he went on a beaver sleepover the other year. The leaders discreetly arranged for him to have 5 mins privacy in the toilet in the evening and morning to get changed. It was fine.

3boys3dogshelp · 03/09/2017 21:37

My ds is not dry at night - he's been on loads of Beaver and Cub sleepovers and it's just not a problem at all. So far there has been someone else with the same issue every single time (not the same person as he has moved groups) so clearly it's really common.
He wears pull ups which I pack together with his pjs and his toothbrush in a carrier bag. He gets changed and brushes his teeth in a cubicle. He usually takes a onesie as he feels like that hides the bulk of the pull up a bit more. Desmomelts help but are not 100% reliable for him. I don't really like him using them on camp in case the kids have a midnight feast and he can't join in.

Hippee · 03/09/2017 21:51

Desmomelts have not worked for my sons but DS1 managed 4 nights at his school residential and DS2 has managed numerous cub camps with pull-ups without being outed. If the club regularly has sleepovers with children that age they should be used to be dealing with it discreetly.

formerbabe · 03/09/2017 21:54

My ds was dry most nights but not every night and was worried when he went on a sleepover. I bought him some special pants which look like normal pants but are slightly thicker in case of accidents. Not sure they would absorb completely if there was an accident but would certainly help. He was fine and didn't wet himself...I also would buy black pajamas and any accidents would be less detectable.

SeaWitchly · 03/09/2017 22:39

Both my two stopped being wet at night with hypnosis.

Merry, is there a particular book with this story that you recommend?
Or did you make it up yourself?

Would love to try it out with my 8 and 6 year old DS who are both still wearing night-time pull ups... the 6 year old wets only occasionally however the 8 year old does almost every night

The 8 year old is now getting to the age of being invited to good friends homes for sleepovers and this has made me feel very anxious for him. It is so reassuring to hear that other children have had similar issues in regard to this and also to read the very helpful tips for managing practicalities and minimising any embarrassment or anxiety for the child.

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