To visit my mother less often after she called me a selfish little bitch?

[NewUserNameForMe]

My mother is in a residential care home due to a stroke. She left me a message on my answer machine today asking me to call her and as she was trying to hang up i heard her call me a selfish little bitch.
This behaviour is not a result of the stroke, when i heard the message it triggered loads of memories of other times she had called me names when i was growing up, (often under her breath, but loud enough to be heard).).
My initial feeling was to visit her much less often, but as i put her in this care home close to where i live, but miles from my brother, i feel responsible for continuing to visit as no one else will. I generally see her 2 - 3 times a week currently, Wibu to visit less often?

She sounds like my mother.

That is why I am NC.

Play the voicemail back to her.

My mother moved to a care home a year ago after living with us for a couple of years. Her passive aggressive digs at every opportunity got too much but I still felt guilty for months (last straw was being screamed at late at night that I didn't love her). I now visit 2-3 times a week - even tho the home is nearly next door. I cut the visit short (5-10 mins)if I know she is in one of those moods.. it keeps me and the kids in contact with her (and sometimes she can be in great form, reminiscing) and I feel much saner! You can't carry someone else's emotional baggage for them.

You can't carry someone else's emotional baggage for them.

This is brilliant!! Thanks, babyface, I'm going to remember that.

What if you told her that you heard what she said? That it has really hurt your feelings and made you question your relationship