To think I could breastfeed a third child for the first time?

[Lovelymonkeyninetynine]

I have 2 dc who I didn't breastfeed. I tried but found it very very painful with both. Has anyone been able to do it with subsequent children? I am wondering if there's a way to toughen your boobs up for feeding if your skin is super sensitive?

Not sure there's any way to toughen your bobs in advance but it might be that a third baby would latch better and get the hang of things quicker, thereby making it easier for you. I think it's worth a try if you're keen. Use loads of lansinoh, make sure you have your latch checked (repeatedly if necessary) and see a proper, experienced lactation consultant early re:tongue tie if you have any problems.

Good luck!

bobs?! boobs obv

It's probably nothing to do with your skin not being tough enough. The chances are that painful feeding was caused by a problem with your latch. There are breastfeeding counsellors who will help you- it's worth looking for groups like La Leche or the Breastfeeding Network too.
I know several women who breastfed successfully after a couple of previous disasters and I had very, very painful feeding with one of mine and managed to sort it out.
Kellymom.com is a mine of information and books like Bestfeeding or (cringy title but good book) The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding can help too. Unfortunately I didn't find hospital midwives very helpful, but there is support available.

What sort of painful? Was it the skin on your nipples that was sore?

I breastfed all 3 of my DC but DD (youngest) was the longest, probably because I was used to it.
You have to grin and bear it at first, it does bloody hurt! I'll never forget the feeling of my boobs being so full I thought they'd burst and when DC latched on it was agony for the first few seconds!

Once you get the hang of it though it's amazing. DD used to feed and look up at me, never breaking eye contact, it was so special. And dont forget, the weight drops off you as long as you're feeding. Win win!

Ageee with latch probably being the problem.

You could definitely try it out. If it doesn't work out then at least you know you tried

It's probably the latch, it hurt me for the first few weeks but it gets less painful in time as your positioning and latch improve

I breastfed number 3 but not the other 2. I think having realistic expectations and plenty of support helps.
It hurts, the first few weeks are relly hard, but once you both get into the swing of it it is amazing.
When I was struggling I actually went back to the hospital for help and although they probably werent supposed to, they did help me.

Toe-curling, tear-inducing pain for the first few weeks with both DC and dreading doing it for a third time, but I will.

I wish there would be a bit more openness about pain - I think telling women "it shouldn't hurt if you are doing it properly" is what makes a lot of us give up at the beginning. How about "it can hurt for a while, but you'll get through it and won't regret it once it becomes easy".

I may or may not have fixed an issue with latch, either way I still had to get through those first few days/weeks where I hadn't yet accessed support.

I gave up breastfeeding my first after a few weeks because of difficulties. I've been breastfeeding my second for almost a year now!

The difference was that I found all the possible sources of help in advance second time around, went to breastfeeding support groups while I was still pregnant so it wouldn't be alien afterwards. They added me to a Facebook group and they figured out my baby had tongue tie and told me how to get a referral to get it sorted. I was also just absolutely determined it would work, and kept telling myself I'd do one more feed instead of thinking about it in weeks or months.

Good luck!

I think LittleWing that it does hurt for a while - as would sucking on any soft bit of your body for hours at a time for weeks at a time - but if the OP is concerned that it was so painful she stopped breastfeeding it is worth her getting early, expert advice if she tries to do it again. The answer may end up being "there's nothin wrong, it will get easier/less painful over time", but I think that should be the position once problems have been ruled out, not the default position at the start. Women gritting their teeth and continuing to bf despite (fixable) problems and pain doesn't help anyone.

And in fact they more often don't grit their teeth but stop bfeeding, and then feel that the have failed/should have tried harder/should have just put up with it etc etc

Every baby's different. Might be third time's the charm and this one latches like a dream! I know I struggled hard with DC1 and combi fed for a while before managing to EBF eventually. DC2 was much easier and I'd say most of that was down to a better latch from day 1. Put support in place, know where to go and who to call, and you'll have a good shot at it. If it doesn't work out, that's totally ok. Don't sacrifice your own comfort and wellbeing on this particular altar!

I'm pregnant with my 3rd and would love to breastfeed. I've failed within days with my other 2 due to them constantly screaming and refusing to latch. I don't even think I'm going to try this time, it's too stressful

Yes, you're right. But I think being unprepared for any pain at all (maybe not the OP as it is not her first attempt, but first time mums?) is the issue. It made me feel like I was just getting it all wrong being consistently told it 'shouldn't hurt'. It shouldn't hurt, but it bloody does! Although I realise this actually isn't the case for all women. I managed to BF for 1 year and then for 9 months with my 2 so we obviously got it right in the end...!

Could you arrange a lactation consultant to visit you at home really early? I did that and it was the best £85 I ever spent! The midwives all told me it was going fine but the LC helped me get the latch so much better and then it didn't hurt.

My DCousin ff 2 and went on to bf her third for 18 months, so it can be done [smike]

My recommendations would be to find out where your local Bfing Support groups are and go to them while you are still pg. Put the Bfing Helplines numbers in your phone and don't be afraid to call them. Don't buy any formula or bottles and read this

I'd expect (based on my experience and those of friends anyway) for it to be very painful for two weeks - peaking at about 7 to 10 days. Both times I was in extreme pain when latching on at day 7, I had two C sections so had been taking painkillers - I didn't really need them for the C section scar by day 7 but did for latching on, I really noticed if I'd not taken them! So my advice to myself after my first was to do whatever I could to try and make it to two weeks (of course also getting the latch checked etc) and try to only give up after two weeks. Good luck, it sounds like you really want to breastfeed but equally remember that you will already have a lot happening with a newborn and two other children so if breastfeeding doesn't work out you will still be doing brilliantly!

I bf dc3 but not my older two, so it's totally possible.

Here's what I did...before birth I watched loads and loads of YouTube videos about How to get a good latch, I bought a sling so that dbaby was attached to me a lot and I bought tubes and tubes of lansinoh (miraculous stuff) and for about the first 3/4 weeks, after every single latch I put lansinoh on my nipple and if we had a bad/painful latch i took him off and started again. It worked wonders and I didn't have any cracks/bleeds at all.

Yes, it is painful at first, but tbh I was taking paracetamol for my stitches anyway for about 7 days so that helped. Good latch is absolutely key.

Good luck, I'm glad I bf dc3, I didn't particularly enjoy it but I'm glad I did it.

I managed to bf dd2 until she was a toddler but only managed to mixed feed dd1 for 12 weeks. I made sure i was very well informed with dd2 by looking up stuff on kellymom (if that still exists) also phoned a friend and an nct bf helper. With dd1 i asked midwives but didn't find that very helpful. My midwife said the milk flows easier with subsequent babies. I don't know if that's true but it felt like it was. It felt like dd2 was better at it, but it may jyst have been that i was more well informed. To be honest with both of them i found it a bit sore at first.

My friend is breastfeeding her fourth when it hadn't worked with any of her problems others. Good luck.

Not problems others just others.....

I could have written this post word for word OP!

@CoxsOrangePippin is a latch consultant easily available in the north? And before I get lost in a world of google, did you use a company (?) or individual? And is it in person? Or over phone/Skype? Am aware these may be totally stupid questions! Thank you

I would be tempted to say you may have been unlucky with latch problems the first two times. I was in horrific pain for 9 weeks until DC1's latch was sorted but had no pain at all with DC2. My skin never got tough in 6 years of almost continuous breast feeding.

Thanks everyone. Lots of practical ideas thank you. I'm wondering if it's a psychological thing too, I do have sensitive skin but also the idea of pain there makes me cringe! Think I'll seek out a lactation consultant.