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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour's children..

2 replies

MrsAnamCara · 02/09/2017 16:09

So over the summer hols, my only child, a boy who has just turned 4, watches the other children on the street play, we open the window and let him talk to these kids, we took him onto a field to play ball with them and to play frisbee/fly a kite ect...

When he has wanted to go to the park, we've taken him and some of the kid's joined us, while at the park we've bought our son water and on a couple of occasions bought drinks for the other kids.

Then we invited them into our home, they played nicely with our son, but one child wasn't really interested, he would try and go upstairs into bedrooms, they would all follow and run riot and I'd be keeping an eye on them. Soon they wanted in the house all the time or try and go up and down stairs. One child said he was hungry, both parents were at work and their 15 year old cousin was watching them, they'd had fries for lunch so I made him toast.

The same child opened one of the locks to the kitchen cupboard and helped himself to biscuits. This one child is obnoxious, he only calls for D's when no one else is about, and if I've taken him and my son to the park, he will, in our return go on ahead and by the time we get home, he's gone off with another child.

In fact, they all go off when we are going back home and when we go to the park and my son can't keep up, he will become very upset saying come back don't leave me, but on the other hand he will get very upset if he can't go out with them.

The children are allowed to play on the street/road on bikes/scooters, with no adult supervision

While I was at work, my husband, had taken our son to the field, the boys wanted to go to an apple tree, they asked if D's was coming, so they went off, D's got upset so dh took him for 5-10 mins, most of the boys went off further away from the tree, it was getting closer to D's bed time so dh and D's went home.

One of the boys has learning difficulties, went missing (this has happened a few times) and his mother knocked at our door asking if dh had seen him. Since then, the boys are not allowed to play with Ds, I asked the obnoxious boy why you aren't allowed to the park he said because dh had taken the children to the apple tree and x went missing...

I feel awful that he went missing, I wasn't there, I was working...the boys all go ahead when we go to and return from the park, they don't wait for or say bye, they don't tell their parents or guardians where they are going. I've taken D's and the boy with learning difficulties to a different park and it was lovely.

But other parents never take their DC to the park, the boys were expecting us to take them/feed them and buy drinks. I feel sorry for them and I take DC to park anyway, so I don't mind them joining us, but then now they aren't allowed because the boy went missing... Which on one hand I understand, but to say it'a dh's fault (OK no adult has said that) but still, we were for several times a week looking after 3 other children 3-5 hours a day, maybe we've made ourselves into mugs or doormats? I'm I being unreasonable to feel guilty and even though there is one unlikeable child, feel upset for DS? (Both neighbours have stopped their children from going to park or off our cul de sac, which again I understand, but...I don't know what to think or make off it. The boys are left to their own devices with very little guidance and the parents aren't annoyed at us ect..

OP posts:
Notevilstepmother · 02/09/2017 16:13

Sounds to me like you've had a lucky escape before something worse happened to one of the kids and you or DH got blamed. Find him some nice friends his own age with responsible parents to play with. Don't take responsibility for someone else's children.

MrsAnamCara · 02/09/2017 20:29

Thank you, you're 100 correct

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