To ignore my ex and let my daughter paint her nails?

[motheroreily]

My Exh doesn't like our daughter who's 4 wearing make up of having her nails painted.

I've never put make up on her. But I have let her paint her nails a couple of times.

Whenever I have he gets really angry. He doesn't mind if it's at a party but that's all. Part of me thinks I should respect his wishes but part of me thinks I shouldn't back down.

He could be controlling so I'm a bit sensitive about him telling me what to do. But I can't see a problem with her having her nails painted. Aibu to ignore his wishes?

All my kids like having toe nails painted at 3 and 4 years, boys included. Dh rolled his eyes and I'd tell him to get over it. They all grew out of it. Dd rarely wants her nails painted anymore and she's 12.

I agree DS refgularly had hai nails painted and did PE with pink blue or red toes! No harm done.

I don't wear nail varnish so it definatley just something to try out

I wouldn't listen, no. what you do at your house is not his decision to make. i wouldn't make a big deal of it, but should she ask, and you want to, then do. take it off before she goes to his, if you must, but he doesn't run your life.

Enceladus: I was responding to other posters who said it was normal for little girls to use nail varnish.

I have my own opinion about that.

I said that it is the OP's decision and that her ex is controlling.

A bit like posters telling others what they can and can't post.

I don't like to see little children with painted nails.

Ok so your ex doesn't like his dd to wear nail polish, I don't think that is terribly controlling tbh.

Little girls (and indeed little boys) usually love having their fingernails or toenails painted, especially now that nail polish comes in every crazy colour under the sun. I don't think they see it as any different from having their face painted at a fete or dressing up or something; it's just fun to them, not a beauty treatment. I've painted my friends' kids' nails for them before, boys and girls, and their parents have always been Ok with it.

If your ex doesn't like it then by all means remove the polish when she goes to see him, but I wouldn't stop doing it if it's fun for your daughter.

So are you saying that you don't have equal care of your DD?

It's got nothing to do with him while she is in your care, just as what you feed her, what clothes she wears, etc etc, has nothing to do with him. You are entitled to parent as you wish, as long as it's not neglectful or abusive, just as he is entitled to parent as he wishes when she is in his care.
I would remove it before she goes to his house though, just so she isn't put in the middle.