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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not be getting emotional about dd starting school?

44 replies

ladybirdsarelovely33 · 02/09/2017 00:17

A lot of people including friends are experiencing bittersweet emotions about their dc starting Reception or feeling a bit sad in general. However, I am trying to get myself to feel sad, but I just don't. I think dd is so ready to start and probably was six months ago. Could it be because I can feel a bit detached from her a bit and/ or she is very high energy and needs a lot of attention but does not listen to me that I feel like this?
Anyone else feel like me or differently?

OP posts:

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 02/09/2017 09:24

No tears here in my excitement I think told everyone at gate, how happy I was for bit piece of peace and quite from DS. Might explain why none wanted to my friend, heho I didn't have time to tell them I was a lone parent and only break I got as I had skipped half way home by then.

@esme I thought that about Uni my DD leaving soon, we are like a team but not solely dependant on each other if know what I mean. Part reason why I happy single, I'm eating my words as feeling emotional but think it's because of how proud I am of how far she has come but won't sit here pining for her likewise her.

PrincessPlod · 02/09/2017 09:34

I'm looking forward to ds1 starting school next week as he has needed to go for the last 6 months as preschool hasn't been cutting it for him. He is also high energy and wants to be everyone's friend. He is often disappointed when kids aren't interested in his bouncy ways.

PrincessPlod · 02/09/2017 09:37

Should also mention I'm mixed on emotions he needs the stimulus of school but I will miss him and my baby is growing up.

ThanksForAllTheFish · 02/09/2017 10:04

I wasn't really emotional when DD started school. I did feel a little nervous for her as she was quite shy and knew no one from her class before starting. A lot of the other children knew each other from nursery, but we lived in a different area during the nursery years so all her friends went to a different school. I was worried she wouldn't have anyone to speak to/ play with.

I did feel a little emotional when she tried on her uniform for the first time. She was a tiny little thing so I needed to buy age 3-4 stuff - it just looked wrong on such a tiny child.

lalaloopyhead · 02/09/2017 10:12

I was never emotional when mine started school, it just seemed like a natural progression from nursery really. My oldest was a summer born so I did worry about her a bit and she did struggle socially to start with, but no to be honest I never really got the whole crying thing.

That oldest baby is now going to Uni and I feel very emotional about that!

MsAwesomeDragon · 02/09/2017 10:17

I didn't feel emotional about either of my dd's starting school. With dd1 I did at least manage to take her to school on her first day, then went to work slightly late (this was arranged and agreed) .

For dd2, the childminder took her, we started as we meant to go on, and tbh I was glad she was going to school as she was ready to go and my childcare bill went down significantly (to about 1/3 of what it had been)

I don't think we're wrong about not getting emotional, but equally, other people aren't wrong to be emotional about it. Different people react differently to the same situations and that's ok.

formerbabe · 02/09/2017 10:18

I remember feeling a little sad on my youngest child's last day at nursery. It really felt like the end of an era...but no I've not been especially emotional at them starting school. I've always felt happy and excited for them, and excited for me at having some childfree time! They are done by 3/3.30 so I still have plenty of time to spend time with them after school, plus weekends, plus 14 weeks holiday per year! Its not like you don't get to see them anymore! My dc love school...it's wonderful hearing about all the things they do and the friends they make.

lljkk · 02/09/2017 11:13

MNers seem especially emotional about things like school start. I have never even seen teary faces in the school yard from reception starter parents, much less experienced it personally.

I find the yr6 Leavers Assembly also a bit of a boring chore, too. Even though MNers gush about the event as some kind of Community Wailing Tearful Fest. Meh.

I can cry at drop of hat over other things. Give me a kid with cancer excited happy shouting b/c he's in a fab foto dressed up like Superman & I'm gushing away. But starting or finishing school? Come on. It's ordinary.

Rachie1973 · 02/09/2017 11:15

LOL I hate to admit it but I was thrilled! I have the 6, and when the youngest started I was excited lol. It made working etc SO much easier :)

I was absolutely fine, although I admit to being tearful as the youngest started secondary, but I think that's because I realised I was getting old lol

10storeylovesong · 02/09/2017 11:21

My tears aren't sadness though. I'm so proud of my little 27 weeker as he had such a tough start and we were told he would likely have severe development issues and probably disabilities. To see his tiny blonde head running around with other kids his age (albeit head and shoulder below them!) and I do get emotional that he proved everyone wrong and is such a little superstar.

AmaDablam · 02/09/2017 11:37

I'm not especially sad, I'm excited! Excited for dd as I feel she's ready (despite being a summer born) and eager to go. Excited for myself as I'll be able to take on more work (I freelance so just worked around her 15 hours at preschool previously) which is good for us financially and my career.

I don't think this lack of emotion means you're detached. Words cannot describe how much I love dd but the summer holidays have been very intense with us being together virtually 24/7 and her behaviour hasn't been great at times (nor, I admit has my response to it) so I think some time apart will do our relationship good.

Fwiw I didn't cry when dd was born either, it didn't mean I was any less overjoyed than the mother with tears streaming down her face in the next room, it just wasn't my natural response at that time.

MizK · 02/09/2017 12:21

I've always been completely calm and a bit bemused by tearful parents..mine have all skipped off at the school gates, been completely fine with going away without me etc. I've been somewhat smug about our secure attachment, their confidence whilst a bit worried that I'm dead inside because I never feel sad about being away from them...

Now my eldest DD is about to move literally hundreds of miles away to go to uni next week and I've cried about 400.times just thinking about it. We all break eventually!

YoullShootYourEyeOut · 02/09/2017 12:29

I didn't feel sad when DD started in reception, she was very ready and it was an exciting time for her. I did, however get very emotional when she she left primary school and started secondary school, seeing what amazing person she had become throughout her primary education.

Bananamama1213 · 02/09/2017 20:22

I felt sad and emotional when my DS started reception last year. But because he cried a little when leaving us, he did get over it quickly and happily went in very quickly.

But DD starts reception next week and I'm dreading it. I cried when we had the taster hours!!! She was sitting on the rug with all the other children and I couldn't stop crying!

Original poster

ladybirdsarelovely33 · 03/09/2017 00:12

I actually now can say that I am looking forward to dd2 starting nursery soon - I will have just under 3 hours in the day to myself.

Glad other parents here also not feeling too emotional about this.

OP posts:

nothingontelly · 03/09/2017 08:06

Enjoy your free time ladybird, as it goes far too quick!

thornyhousewife · 03/09/2017 08:44

I'm very happy for my DD starting school next week, she's so very bored of being home with me! I'm also really excited to be able to work more in daylight hours. I work freelance mostly in the evenings.

GhostsToMonsoon · 03/09/2017 09:21

My youngest is starting school on Wednesday. She attended the school nursery so it will just involve going in a different door and doing longer days. I'm excited about having lots of time a to myself and to seeing how much she'll learn this year.

RueDeWakening · 03/09/2017 09:39

My summer born youngest starts next week, and I am feeling a bit emotional, but mostly because I know getting him in is likely to be a trauma - he had to be peeled off me screaming at the settling in session last term, and I hope it won't happen next week but expect it will.

He's consistently said he doesn't want to go to school, won't try on his uniform, and despite our best efforts isn't totally reliable re toilets, especially in unfamiliar places. It took him 2 terms to settle at preschool last year, and he still wasn't totally happy with going. It's hard work! And such a different kettle of fish to my older 2 - oldest in particular skipped into preschool and school without a care in the world and has thrived there.

It helps that I know it's just something to get through, I have every confidence in the school, and the reception teacher is the mum of one of my eldest's friends, too.

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