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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To phone the school on Monday to complain

39 replies

xFreckleFacex · 01/09/2017 17:24

My DC has the shingles, nothing serious quite a mild bout. Doctor confimed it. DC was feeling a bit run down due to it so I kept her off school. I phoned the school to inform them she would be off today but back to school on Monday.

DC friend has told her the teacher announced it to the class that she has the shingles, AIBU to think this is ridiculous? Its not contiguous without direct contact and where she has it there is no chance of that. Its never announced when someone has the chicken pox or nits Hmm

Theres a few girls in her class that are very bitchy and were already taking great delight in telling people to steer clear of her on Monday. My girl is quite a sensitive soul and I can see shes already full of worry for returning to school on Monday.

AIBU to want to phone the school Monday morning to complain? Ive never been in this situation before and I genuinely cannot recall a time Ive ever heard of any other teacher annoucing a childs illness to the class.

OP posts:
Katescurios · 01/09/2017 17:26

Its completely inappropriate for them to share any medical information with the kids.

Original poster
xFreckleFacex · 01/09/2017 17:27

Thats what I thought too. Thank you.

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 01/09/2017 17:28

I'd want to get the facts clear first. You've heard this second hand - check with the school before taking it further. If it is indeed true it's very poor - medical details are confidential. Doesn't matter is she has a cold, nits, shingles or V&D - it's confidential.

With that in mind I'd be surprised if the class teacher thought it appropriate to tell the whole class about a pupil's illness. However, if the teacher has done so you do need to address it.

stella23 · 01/09/2017 17:28

She has shingles it or had? Surely she shouldn't be in school for a multitude of reasons

StickThatInYourPipe · 01/09/2017 17:29

In complete agreement with Katescurios

YANBU

bigchris · 01/09/2017 17:30

But my kids are always coming home saying child a is off with flu, child b has broken his arm etc, child c was sick all over the floor

I doubt the kids know what shingles are, primary right ?

Original poster
xFreckleFacex · 01/09/2017 17:31

@stella23 why shouldn't she be at school? She has the shingles, doctor confirmed theres no reason for her to miss school aslong as she feels ok.

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 01/09/2017 17:32

I would get my facts straight first. Did the child overhear an conversation between two teachers, did the teacher say that there had been a case of shingles in the school and tour dc friends knew it was your dc? If the teacher did name your child I would be onto the school first thing.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 01/09/2017 17:37

Ignoring the fact I don't know why anyone would be upset about people knowing they have shingles Confused I would ask questions before forming an opinion and only then would I even consider complaining.

Maybe the teacher has over heard some stupid rumours or some ignorant bitching and were trying to straight? Maybe one of your dd's friends said something well meaning but incorrect and the teacher has corrected the misinformation with the best of intentions?

While I agree that private medical information should always be held in the strictest confidence was this private medical information? Or had your dd told people and it was already common knowledge? Also the comparison with nits (which doesn't require an absence from school that would need to be explained to worried or concerned people) and chicken pox (which most children have had long before secondary school and so may be a moot point) are flawed. If she's had shingles she's probably been off for a while?? That does need some positioning and talking about welcoming her back to make the transition back to school as easy as possible - so context is important.

If there is an issue with other pupils being unkind that needs to be the focus of any complaint imho.

Original poster
xFreckleFacex · 01/09/2017 17:40

From what my DD was told the teacher told the class that Mary wouldnt be in today as she has the shingles. I will of course double and triple check this is correct before I phone the school, I just wasnt sure if this was normal practice.

OP posts:
UpYouGo · 01/09/2017 17:42

It probably wasn't an announcement. Our register is electronic and if a note was put in to say why she was off the children could have seen it (if it was clicked on).

Or mentioned to the TA. Or office staff yelling 'X is off with shingles' across the class to the teacher Grin

Also if a child asked, the teacher may have just said, 'shingles' doesn't strike me as an embarrassing or particularly private illness.

However if children are using such information to bully others it's definitely something they need to know about. Teacher will feel awful and I'm sure be more discreet in the future.

Original poster
xFreckleFacex · 01/09/2017 17:44

Movingonupmovingonout- shes not upset about people knowing she has shingles, shes upset that a classmate was telling people not to go near her when she comes back on Monday. There has been an issue with this particular child being mean to my daughter in the past.

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 01/09/2017 17:45

Then that's the issue to deal with.

usualGubbins · 01/09/2017 17:45

I had shingles about 6 months ago. Was told that until the spots all went crusty it was highly contagious and to keep away from children and people who hadn't had chickenpox.

stella23 · 01/09/2017 17:46

It's contagious, whilst it's only mild, you have no idea if there are others in the school who had supresssed immunity.

And shingles makes you feel rubbish.

Thirtyrock39 · 01/09/2017 17:48

Shingles is contagious to those that haven't had chicken pox so I'm surprised she's ok to go in to school

UpYouGo · 01/09/2017 17:48

I don't think you need to 'complain' at all then OP, you just need to talk to the teacher about said classmate.

Ttbb · 01/09/2017 17:50

At first I thought that you meant that the teavher had shingles herself and told the class. Definitely complain.

8misskitty8 · 01/09/2017 17:50

I would mention it to the school. They should not be telling the class details of illness.
Unfortunately some teachers are not discreet when discussing things with their class. My eldest has aspergers and her teacher a few years ago told the whole class ! I only found out when another mother told me her daughter asked her what it was and told her the teacher told everyone Dd has it.

Gilead · 01/09/2017 17:50

She should not be in school.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 01/09/2017 17:51

Honestly, does it really matter if a teacher tells the kids Mary is off with shingles/cold/toothache? & if it matters, why? We all coped perfectly fine with it, didn't even think about it. Johnny has a broken arm It's hardly necessitates it being a state secret.

The world is going mad.

Freckles. The issue is any bullying, THAT needs to be addressed. Not a teachers throw away comment. I hope you can get any bullying sorted out & help DD be less sensitive. Resilience is a life skill.

Brakebackcyclebot · 01/09/2017 17:51

www.healthline.com/health/shingles-contagious#overview1

You can't contract shingles from a person who has shingles. However, a person who has not had chickenpox can contract chickenpox from a person with shingles.

Original poster
xFreckleFacex · 01/09/2017 17:51

Its only contagious by direct contact as long as its covered by clothing or a dressing its fine.

She hasnt been feeling too bad, a bit run down hence the 2 days off but shes perked right back up today and is 100% herself again.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 01/09/2017 17:54

Whilst you can contract chicken pox from active shingles, it does have to be direct contact with the fluid from a blister. Once they've crusted it is no longer contagious.

Shingles is also often just in specific places rather than all over. So if it is in a covered area, people are normally fine to go about their normal activities.

Stopyourhavering · 01/09/2017 17:58

Until scabs have dried up, she is contagious and shouldn't be at school...is she not feeling rubbish/in pain?... has she been given acyclovir ?