To feel strange about going full time to part time?

[Myhomeismycastle]

Going back to work in January after maternity leave. Logistally full time won't work, I get this. I do shift work (13 hours) & commute, plus the added cost of childcare doesn't make it feasible. Then why do I feel bloody weird about it?

I've always been very independent & worked full time even after the birth of my first DD. (Had no childcare costs then).

My DH made an off the cuff comment the other day about how he was putting in 'a lot of money in' when I pulled him up on it he said 'it's our money & it makes no sense for you to work full time' so what was the point of the comment?.

Why do I feel so strange about it?

I think there's a lot of pressure in our society to work full time. I don't have kids (someday in the next couple years I hope to) and I've only ever worked full or full plus time (regularly had multiple jobs at once to make ends meet), and I would feel seriously weird at the idea of going part time if I had kids. I know it's irrational but I'd feel like a slacker. Like I was sponging off my partner. Like it makes no sense not to be earning at 100% capacity as hard times could be ahead and I'd regret not having that money.

So I'm not surprised you feel that way. I'm sure you're aware that the childcare you do in the hours you're not at work has immense value emotionally and financially, but there's definitely an aura of how anyone not working full time is slacking or mooching. It'll probably take some time for you and DH to get used to until it feels natural.

I can't say until it happens but I would probably go part time at least for the pre school years, but I'd struggle a lot with that decision and feel like I was letting the partnership down or that my OH would think I was trying to get an easy ride (I know looking after kids is anything but!). From what I see re my mum friends they can't win. If they work full time why aren't they home with the kids/why did they bother having them. Part time it's why should you be the one to stop working as much/poor DH doing all of those hours/moocher etc. And SAHM even more brutal (leach, giving up independence, setting a bad role model to kids). Can't really do anything right in everyone's eyes so do what's best for you and your family.