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Original poster

A mental trick here...imagine you are an 80 years old woman.

34 replies

btfly2 · 01/09/2017 00:06

My granny used to say "have a look around and enjoy it while you can"

What things would you have loved to do more? Or not regret?

I'm sorry if I sound silly. Have you ever had this kind of thought?

I don't want to be an elderly lady regretting or missing out something just because life is so busy nowadays and we kinda forget to remember you only have one life!

OP posts:
hakkenKrak · 01/09/2017 00:09

I'd have done more men and travelled more!

Original poster
btfly2 · 01/09/2017 00:12

Haha! that's a good idea hakkenKrak :)

OP posts:
StumpyScot92 · 01/09/2017 00:13

I'd have cut certain people out of my life sooner and not been a doormat. But hindsight is 20/20 and all that and if it wasn't for my mistakes I wouldn't have all the wonderful things in my life too 😊

excuse the soppiness, I'm pregnant and like a wee rollercoaster of emotions today haha

KweenOfFarts · 01/09/2017 00:13

Great food for thought!

It's like that story I read once about taking photos and not being part of the 'capturing the moment' for kids to look back one day as too worried about always how grim camera made me look.

So you have got me thinking about something else now, especially as I always make excuse to tired but in fact to lazy & old age has already creeped up

chips4teaplease · 01/09/2017 00:16

My mum died, aged 79. in 2014. She died slowly. Visiting her in a care home, I was very much aware that she wasn't all that much older than me and that my time was running out, too.

I am very conscious that this moment, now, is all there is.

I don't know if there's anything I'd regret. Things just are as they are.

ChinkChink · 01/09/2017 00:24

You often hear the phrase, 'You don't regret what you did do, only what you didn't.'

What a load of absolute tosh. I regret LOADS of things I did, decisions I made etc and will until I shuffle off. We can't change the past.

BackieJerkhart · 01/09/2017 00:26

I would have taken more notice of my children in their early years. Spent more time on the floor with them instead of on my phone.

Pallisers · 01/09/2017 00:33

enjoy how you look right now.

Because in ten years time you will look back and think "I wish I enjoyed how I looked back then"

Someone said that to me when I was 32 and it is so so true now I am a lot older.

Also ... write it down, keep a diary.

DarkDarkNight · 01/09/2017 00:35

Had more sex, just get myself out there a bit more really.

I feel like an old spinster, I'm only 34 Sad

sobeyondthehills · 01/09/2017 00:37

I think it depends on your perspective of things,

For example I met my partner when I was 11, but things didn't quite happen, so we went on to different things, different lives and different marriages. He ended up with his DS and I ended up knowing what I wanted in life, if none of that had happened, and we had gotten together sooner , than chances are we wouldn't be together now.

Another one: If I hadn't had my son, I would be dead or at the very least in a large amount of trouble, he got me sober, because I loved my son and loved being a mum so much we decided to try again which resulted in a miscarriage, which turned into a spiral of depression, which I am still coming out of. I don't regret my son or anything that has happened since, it makes me into the person I am now

Ttbb · 01/09/2017 00:40

I would have spent less time worrying about money (assuming that because t all works out fine) or more if it doesn't

Ttbb · 01/09/2017 00:40

Oh, and not investing heavily in bitcoin when it started out.

xqwertyx · 01/09/2017 00:47

I know it may get said a lot but travelling. And recently not reaching ANY goals i set for myself. I tell myself "by this time next year ill be/have done this" and i never do it. I'm hoping i stop procrastinating before my first sit on a commode.

highinthesky · 01/09/2017 00:48

I think in latter years, most people regret what they haven't done, rather than what they have done.

So if it matters to you and isn't harming anyone, go for it!

maudeismyfavouritepony · 01/09/2017 00:48

Same as Haddenrak I wish I'd had more men and sex and travel. And higher self esteem and confidence, to do the former. 49 in a sexless relationship with two young children.

Zool69 · 01/09/2017 00:51

ChinkChink - completely agree. It's an absolute bullshit meaningless phrase people love to quote

Original poster
btfly2 · 01/09/2017 01:04

Pallisers , write it down and keep a diary definitely helps!

Highinthesky, I couldn't agree more. "I think in latter years, most people regret what they haven't done, rather than what they have done"
Yesssss!

OP posts:
teaandtoast · 01/09/2017 04:38

Agree with Chinkchink and Zool.

I don't regret what I didn't do, but I do regret doing some of the things I've done!

Outdoorsy5644 · 01/09/2017 05:09

I think it's the word 'regret' that causes the issue. Things you regret having done will only drag you down if you don't learn from them. By letting regrets go, you gain much more emotional freedom. Let that shit Go! Enjoy life now, cherish the little things, and do stuff!
I had a breakdown last year and although it took a lot of work (And therapy and prozac) just releasing regrets and baggage ive carried around for 20+ years and moving on and LEARNING from those regrets has made my life so much happier and simple experiences richer.

KentMum2008 · 01/09/2017 05:16

I don't regret any decisions I've made, because they all got me to where I am now. Happily married to a wonderful man with 2 beautiful (if a little challenging) children.
I definitely had them too young, and I missed out on a lot of things because of that, but the upside is that by the time I'm 40 both my children will be adults. And assuming DH and I are both still in good health, we have plenty of time to do the things we never had the chance to do before.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/09/2017 05:37

I'm 46. I have ME/CFS. I don't have to imagine this. I AM 80+. I have far less energy than lots of 80 yr olds, including a friend of mine and my fil. I regret not being able to do things with my lovely 9 yo that most people take for granted. We never know when our health will deteriorate. So it's a case of loving the life we have. And doing the best we can and having as much fun as possible while planning for our future. I'm lucky that I've lived in different countries and places, visited many countries and have a lovely husband and dd.

BillBrysonsBeard · 01/09/2017 05:59

Got thin in my teens and slept around more Grin

EternalOptimistToo · 01/09/2017 06:10

Mummy snap.
I think that when you get ill, your unthen reliase how many things you have been taking for granted....

I agree with a PP, I don't regret many things. In part, because I know from the bottom of my heart, that I've always tried to do what was best. It might not have been THE best, but it was the best I could managed at the time.
Also all these decisions made me who I am now.

If I have any regret when I'm 80yo (if I get there), it would be to have done things that I knew would/could be hurtful to other people or myself wo a second glance.
I dint think what i would be missing are things I haven't done (eg travelling etc etc). I would regret lost/damaged relationships with friends or family from lack of care iyswim.

whiteroseredrose · 01/09/2017 06:16

I imagine I'll wish I'd traveled more but we don't have the spare money. And with 2 DC going to uni in the next few years that's unlikely to change!

MrsJamesAspey · 01/09/2017 06:25

I don't regret any decisions I've made as each decision was the choice I made at the time, and was what I believed to be the right choice.

I've never enjoyed travelling as I'm a home body, even after a week in the sun I start missing my home, and more sex??? Blah I've been a single parent for 13 years and only recently started dating again, no sex is better than sex with someone you don't care about, and good sex is worth waiting for.