to ask how you manage bedtimes for DCs of varying ages without technology?

[LydiaBinn]

I am a single parent to children aged 10, 5 and just turned 4 and am about to have a newborn, too. Until recently, my youngest napped during the day and so could stay up until the same time as his sisters at night. However, since dropping his nap he could really do with going to bed earlier, as could DD5. DD10 doesn't need much sleep and could easily be up until 10pm.

Ideally, I'd like the two youngest to be asleep for 8.30 at the latest. However, DD10 is awful at being alone and would no way read quietly in her bedroom until 10. She'd expect to be downstairs with me and then would be likely to be loud and wake the others. At the moment she doesn't have any access to technology and hasn't asked for any so I don't really want to encourage it - particularly just before bedtime. How do other people manage bedtimes with different aged DCs?

OP when are you due?

I'd do as I suggested up thread, and you've just said, involve her in smalls bedtime. get their routine sorted out. And give her a bit of you time. Sounds like she's been through quite an upheaval lately (as have you) and needs a bit of tlc.

My youngest goes to bed later after my oldest so he helps me put the older one to bed.

Also I wouldn't try waking her up any earlier, don't mess with a night owls morning sleep unless you absolutely have to!

At 10.5 years of age I had Scouts one night and club another. Both meant being home well after 9pm. This bed by 8pm thing is really odd.Do Mumsnet kids not do things like scouts or guides.

That said I could go to bed quietly and without drama at that age.

My 8 and 11 year have never had a bedtime of 8, it's always been 9-10pm, I don't now anyone whose child has that bedtime time.

If downstairs OP I'd just buy colouring in books for her to do, however take them off her at say 9.15pm for supper and downtime before bedtime.

DS is 9 and goes to bed at 9pm on a Monday, asleep by 915, bed at 7 Tues to Friday, asleep by 8. Bed at 7 on Friday asleep by 730 Bed at 930 Sat night asleep by 10 and 7 for 8 sleep on Sunday.

He is up out of bed at 6am every day. He does Cubs, football and swimming each week.

The bed times are early but he asks to go most nights and will read and draw in bed.

He also knows not to be loud or silly at bed time and gets told.

You may need to put your foot down OP especially if there is a newborn on the way. Don't be afraid of telling the 10 year old what to do or put things in place if she chooses to ignore them.

My three are 13 (with additional needs and learning disability), 10 and 5 (both also have additional needs, but not as severe as eldest.

We all go upstairs at about 6.45ish. We play some board games altogether, then they all get into pyjamas.

Then 10 year old does music practice, 5 year old potters in his room with Lego/books while I get eldest to bed for about 7.45 (yes, early for a 13 year old but she wants/needs to go at that time).

Then I read to 5 year old while 10 year old endlessly faffs about (writing diary, rearranging 'precious' junk things, reading). Lights out for both 13 and 5 year old after this, so between 8-8.15.

I then spend 20 minutes or so with 10 year old, reading, playing a card game, talking stuff over. 10 year old can then read/draw/rearrange more stuff/do whatever and do own lights out (I check by about 9.30 and remind her to get some sleep if still up, but generally she's good about this).

I'm downstairs by 8.30 for some quiet time and general preparation for the next day, they are all upstairs mostly being quiet and going to sleep.

If separation is an issue, I'd be making a comfy corner in your dc's room, and trying to get across quiet/peaceful downtime before bed - stay in there, quiet pottering folding laundry etc, read a book, watch something on your phone/tablet (you only) - be there so dc is not alone, but minimal interaction (like settling a baby), trying to reinforce good bedtime habits then slow withdrawal (more pottering nearby, rather than in bedroom) etc.