Namechanged althought most of you will guess who I am!
Few things here, so I will list them one by one. Ok -
(1) Money
DH has got inheritance. We need ALOT of work doing to the house. This is the problem - DH wants to give 1/2 of it away to his mum, who has recently "lost" £26,000 in various unaccountable ways. Ever since DHs dad died, she has gone spending mad on various new partners, all the time claiming to have spend it on the house to DH. The only work done on the house is what I organised for her (new windows, new carpets, new wiring etc.) That accounts for about 1/4 of all the money. It isn't my business what she does with it, I tried to help her stay out of debt and by doing this I seem like the evil one so stuff it. DHs dads dream was to pay off the tiny mortgage, and over 24 years he did then he doed a few months later. MIL wants to remortgage it back again, for no real reason. As I said, stuff that now, I have bent over backwards trying to help her. Now, DH is selling one of his dads cars. We need new heating (currently spending £70 a WEEK on electricity), ours and DSs bedrooms done (we have broken bed, so sleeping on mattress on floor, no curtains so DS wakes at 6am, broekn wardrobes so clothes are piled in DSs room) so not just a new lick of paint type things. DH hasn't been working much since his dad died, so, when he sells this car our half will pay the mortgage. That's it. She still h=gets her half to go out wining and dining 4 times a week. While his own wife and son sleep in a wreck of a bedroom. Fair enough, I learnt to get over that one. When I was upset about it, he offered to sell one of his other cars which he wanted to keep and restore. I didn't like him too, but, gave in as I knew it would benefit DS. BUT, he suddenly said, "actually, I am giving half of that aswell to mum". Now, am I veiwing that as glass half full or empty? Should I be pleased that we are getting money to do up some of the bedroom? Or am I right to be hurt and upset DH can let us live in such conditions when he HAS the money? He recently walked out, and sold his rolex and had a holiday (well, I'd say it was) for 4 days. He drove a 13mpg car to Ramsgate and back, bought new clothes and planned a life totally away from me and DS, mainly to do with this. Bearing in mind MIL has never offered to take DS or DH out for a day, or a meal or anything, and she inherited DHs dads house, all paid off.
OK,
(2) Comments
When DH and I first met, his parents said nasty things about me. DH never stood up for me, and it caused a massive rift for years. I still never have recieved an apology, but, I let it go. DH always says he regrets never standing up for me. The other night, when DH left again, my mum rung his mum to ask for him. She said I was bleeding him dry, and after everythig in her house aswell. Bearing in mind, we refinanced DHs loan, put it in my name also and with the extra money we got... a £3,500 television. For DH. Dh gets his hair cut, on the dot every 6 weeks at Toni and guy, top stylist, and I have had mine done twice in 2 years. Anyway, he did ask his mum about thiese comments, she denied them, and that was that. I said of course she was going to deny them, but he said drop it. He tried to diffuse the situation, and I should let it go. I started crying, because of all the hurt this attitude caused for the last 3 years, and he left AGAIN. Me standing in my socks, in the rain infront of his car for 20 minutes changed his mind, and now I know not to (a) meantion money and (b) meantion his parents.
AIBU for wanted the house at least decent living conditions? AIBU for not letting comments just pass on by, considering I would get shouted at, or walked out on if I said anything against his mum? Am I being money grabbing? I can only see it from my veiw point, and his,both polar opposites. No doubt there is more, but I can't think off the top of my head right now...
Thanks for reading!