To ask if I'm irrationally worried about cancer

[Chattycat78]

Just that. Background is one of my good friends has stage 4 lung cancer. Unlikely to last a few weeks now. She's only 38. It's a terrible tragedy. She never smoked, lived healthily etc and yet this happened. She had next to no symptoms either and then all of a sudden, it was too late.

I'm a bit obsessive about stuff anyway, but bearing this background in mind, about a week and a half ago I found a raised red bump on my areola. It's actually one of those milk secreting glands (Montgomery gland I think) and it's like it has become red and slightly inflamed. It doesn't hurt or itch or anything. I stopped breastfeeding 5 months ago so can't see how it's linked to milk production. There's no actual lump or anything like that.

I showed it to the gp last week when I was there on an unrelated issue- she said it was probably a spot or blocked duct or something and would go away. However- no sign of it going yet and it's a week later...

I've basically convinced myself it's breast cancer. I'm really worried. Apparently there is a type where the nipple and area round it goes all red/rash etc, and whilst I don't have this, my gland is red and I'm not sure it's right.

I know the answer here is to go bank to the gp if it doesn't go, but am I being ridiculous/unreasonable / overreacting because of the background with my poor friend?

Worrying doesn't make anything better.
Are you generally anxious or is this unusual for you?

Generally anxious, but more so after this has happened to friend. Maybe there's some guilt or something in there too- I mean it's not bloody fair is it?

No YANBU. I have a huge issue with health anxiety. I've had it since childhood but it was amplified when I lost a parent to cancer. I lost another family member to cancer this year and it's triggered all over again. In fact, it's so bad this time that I've got a have therapy for it, as it's considered too serious for CBT even. I check myself constantly and often imagine myself in a situation where I'm dying and have to come to terms with leaving DS. It's incredibly distressing and has completely ruined my life recently.

yeah, like if only you could fix this by feeling bad for her. Like if you could serve her 'punishment'.

I get you OP. I can go from 0-100 in 60 seconds with stuff like this and things got much worse when I lost a friend to cervical cancer in her 20s.

But people like my friend, and your friend, are statistically very rare. That's why they stand out in our minds so much. When I get health anxiety I don't think of my grandad, who had a stroke in his eighties, I don't think of my friend's mum who had a cancerous mole cut out and never had to give it a second thought again. We go to the absolute worst case scenarios, which actually really aren't very likely to happen. Which, devastating though it is when they do, almost never happen.

Pop along to your GP. I think you're right in that the symptoms don't seem typical of BC, but there's obviously something going on - and it's better to know what it is, as simple and straightforward as it's likely to be, and get it sorted. Best of luck.

I think it's normal to feel like this. I lost a close friend to cancer last year at a similar age and constantly fear that I or someone close to me has cancer growing inside but with no symptoms showing yet. Horrid disease.

I'm pretty much the same. I lost my sil to bowel cancer in her early forties. I am generally an anxious person anyway, and if I have any symptom, I automatically think the worst. What I try to do, is give a symptom a week or two, and if it's still there, then go the docs. It's usually gone.

Hey OP. Sounds like you may be displaying symptoms of health anxiety. It's a real psychological condition. I'd recommend ringing your local IAPT team to ask for an assessment or asking your GP to be referred to IAPT. Health anxiety is one of the conditions they treat very regularly and they can have a chat with you and see whether you're just a bit anxious within a 'normal' realm or whether it's indicative of a mental health issue. If so, they will give you a course of CBT which has fantastic results for health anxiety x

Hi - I understand too. I think I have health anxiety (linked to losing close family members to cancer) - today for example I felt my back ache around 11am and pretty much instantly self diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. In the past this would eat me up but I try to verbalise it to my DH who will (patiently) check any other symptoms and recommend leaving it a set period of time and then going to the GP. It does help to share the anxiety in that respect (mind, still not 100% convinced I don't have pancreatic cancer today but....)

Pancreatic cancer is my go-to also, on account of it killing my DM and being virtually symptomless until it's too late.

P cancer (can't even type it or say it 🙁) is my focus too. CBT really helped - I even managed to say it for a while, but I can feel myself slipping back again.

I'll get the notes out as it really did help me cope with my thought processes.

To be fair I'm an equal opportunities health anxiety person - I give all cancers a fair crack at me! But yes with pancreatic I think the lack of symptoms means it is harder to bat away... I've shared on here before a worksheet from North Tyneside NHS on practical ways to calm anxiety - I shall find it and apply it to myself.

It doesn't matter if it's irrational. You're going through a really tough time and you're worried. I hope a visit to the GP will put your mind at rest and that your friend doesn't experience too much pain.