Why are we so damn polite!

[skinoncustard]

Friend and I are having a coffee this morning, she asks me how my DH is doing. ( he was is hospital for four days last week on four hourly intravenous antibiotics , got home on 10 days of "big gun" antibiotics and every two day nurse appointments, all to treat a serious foot infection.) I was telling her how much better he was, but that the heavy duty antibiotics were playing havoc with his digestive system , he was still quite tired and had a rash . ( all checked out by hospital/ doctor/ nurse, and a small price to pay to control an infection that spread from toes to groin in twelve hours) . When all of a sudden this woman at the next table went into full flow about how he should just stop taking them and "tell the doctor he wants something else" ," these doctors don't care" , "they just give you the cheapest" etc etc .
I'm ashamed to say that I just mumbled something about him being nearly finished the tablets and getting better every day.
It wasn't until she had gone that I said to my friend "why am I the one to feel embarrassed, why didn't I tell her quietly to mind her own business.
Why are we so damn polite to rude people!!!!

It is possibly a cultural thing? I am in Germany and when out cycling, every couple of weeks a car driver will use the car horn whilst overtaking me. It gives me quite a shock and I usually respond by showing my middle finger. This has led to some car drivers to stop and threaten me with violence. If I point out that they had no right whatsoever to use the car horn and especially not when they were right behind or next to me, it makes matters worse.
I recently discussed this with some friends and wondered whether this rudeness was just limited to car drivers who hate cyclists but the general consensus was that people in general here in Germany have become more rude and even prone to violence.
I'd love a bit more politeness!

Combating rudeness with rudeness doesn't solve anything. You handled the situation well. That woman probably wasn't meaning to be rude, she just might have thought she was being helpful. Nobody is perfect.

Yanbu. There have been a few occasions where after the event I've really wished I'd said something.

I remember being out for a walk once with our 15 month old in her buggy. Some nosy cow came over and started talking to her about how she bets she'd prefer to be able get out and walk and stretch her legs. We politely told her that she's not walking yet and she carried on talking to her saying "oh I saw those long legs and thought you'd be able to walk!" Then turned to DH and I and started explaining how we should have her walking between us and hold her hands and that she works in early years education and that children just don't get enough exercise blah blah blah before striding off leaving us DD was premature, has a heart condition and is a bit delayed. Not that any of that was her fucking business and I should have told her as much. My blood is boiling reliving it.

Because being rude back doesn't work. A mild answer turns away rage. Heaping fiery coals on their head and all that (the heat of the coal brings out metal's impurities). That means you can help people to consider their actions if you remain polite. They can even feel bad about what they've said.

I remember when my daughter was born we took her out on her first outing. I fed her before leaving the house, when we got there and an hour later (hardly worth going out!)

A woman heard her shrieking after her third feed in a morning and said, "That child's hungry."

I said that no, she wasn't, she just wanted to be held (she was in a pram.)

The woman insisted, "I know a hungry child when I hear one. You're not breastfeeding, are you?"

I nodded, dumbstruck.

"Well, that'll be why. She's starving." And walked off.

Why would anyone do that?