AIBU to deny or change contact?

[alembec]

Split 1 year. DS is now 2.
For various reasons I have allowed ex to visit son and me at our home at 7ish for 10-30 minutes before he (and I!) go to work. I leave the house about 7.20, nanny arrives at 7, son gets up around 7.

He comes when it suits him, and gives me a few days notice if he's not coming, though earlier in the split up he was awful about turning up late, not turning up at all with no notice, or using crap excuses (I couldn't come become I was drinking last night and had a hangover).

Other contact is only Saturday mornings. He has not asked for more.

I don't want him turning up on my door at 7am because:

1. DS might need the odd sleep in yet we have to wake him to see dad.
2. DS soon to start nursery school so morning routine becomes much more tight and important.
3. I hate how random it is - it's so annoying.
4. Frankly, last person I want to see at 7am is my ex (he cheated and left, if that makes any difference).

AIBU to deny this? Ex is likely to say that it's the only time he can make given his master of the universe career and that frequently seeing our son is good for their relationship (this part I agree with).

Ps just to add current he turns up between 0 and 3 times a week. DS never asks where he is if he doesn't come, but he does ask if it's daddy every time the door bell rings.

Yanbu to expect him to make proper arrangements to see his ds away from your home. .

YANBU, this must be a real pain when you're getting your DS ready in the mornings. I would pick one or two mornings per week and tell your ex to come only on those days, whatever works for you. Presumably if he has an amazing career, he has a reasonable house to take his son to rather than coming to yours.

This would be so annoying! Stop it as soon as you can. He's got to have access to his son, that's only fair to them both (and yes i know you won't feel like being fair). He needs to have him every other weeks. Or something like that with a very clear pick up and drop off time so they can have proper bonding time and you get a life.

I don't mean that rudely - I mean get to have a grown up life away from solely parenting a 2 year old and going to work!

YANBU. You're not stopping contact, he has Sat contact. His 7am 10 mins ad-hoc dropping round is now becoming unworkable as DC grows up. No court would order that if you said it's no longer working. He might ask for more contact on another day or longer over weekends, but surely if its regular and arranged with notice, then that has got to be far better.

Also if you get a new serious partner, how would she/he feel about that level of intrusion into your busy mornings.

Weekend - not weeks, that wouldn't work with childcare at this age!