Assesments and Parenting Classes

[HalfShellHero]

Just a whinge really, my eldest ds was diagnosed with ASD at 4 through a referral from nursery was done really swiftly, in comparison I have initiated the process with ds who is 4 exhibiting concerning behaviour, the HV did try to access a service which sadly no longer ran and i initiated something else that fell through. An early services rang me yesterday basically no assesment is guaranteed but if i do parenting classes it will be 'evidence' later down the line that i have 'tried' I wasnt aware i was on trial, I felt pressured to say yes I dont mind going as part of an assesment but it seems so much time wasting and professionals are believed, parents arent AIBU or has anyone else felt this demoralised ?

In our area it took 23 months from referral to assessment and if you declined any of the courses offered in the waiting period then they took you off the list. One way to get numbers down a bit I suppose! A couple of the courses were useful but a couple were very basic and I was sent on them about 18 months into the waiting period. By that stage EVERYONE who met my child knew it was obvious that he had ASD and I had done loads of research and implemented loads of strategies at home. At that stage I did not need to sit through another 3 hours of 'what is autism?' Waste of everyone's time. Could have done with that training around the time of referral.

I've had to do something very similar in a different context. It did feel pointless and I didn't gain a great deal by way of knowledge or skill. However, it did feed me into another fantastic resource which wasn't what I was even looking for so I hear you and get your frustration but would go along with an open mind.

I wish you luck.

Oh what was that matilda the parenting class itself?

Yep. I did three parenting courses. All a total waste of time because it didn't stop my child having ASD. It's part of diagnosis bingo. You have to tick it off. Eventually the Teenage Life ASD course was useful. Would have been better to have had the actual diagnosis when he was four rather than nine instead of having to do waste of time courses though.

Im actually hoping to rule out adhd which seems to have a bigger stigma even, one HV told me they feel the need to weed out people who just want DLA she backpeddled quickly i think my face said it all...

In my area jumping through hoops and an emphasis on providing loads of evidence that it isn't parenting at fault is the norm.

Even after the first Paed appointment where ds met the initial criteria to be referred for full assessment the next step was a parenting course designed to rebuild the bond between child and parents (which was not an issue for us), and wasn't geared towards autistic children at all. When the strategies didn't have the desired effect the onus was very much on parents to try harder. It was provided by camhs and as the majority of children represented were either autistic or on the diagnosis pathway, it felt like a massive waste of resources.

The whole process was distressing and demoralising. Sorry, not positive, but I know so many parents who have gone through it who have found the same.
You do come out the other side though, then you can relax a bit and lick your wounds and recover!

Is the HV not aware that you don't need a diagnosis to claim DLA?
We claimed DLA for ds a year before he was diagnosed.

God knows CloudPerson , i get the impression a lot of them arent too knowledgeable

I dread being sat to a class thats not SN related or being sent to a particularly rough parenting class where theyve clearly been forced to go..