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Original poster

Going back to college -huge mistake

37 replies

LEMtheoriginal · 31/08/2017 08:40

So I enrolled on a college course yesterday. An apprenticeship to be precise. Day release from work.

I'm FORTYFUCKINGSEVEN Hmm

I got the impression the tutor didn't like me (although colleagues tell me she is not popular with anyone) but she tried to tell me yesterday that my entry qualifications weren't standard - err yes I know this and she knew this as I discussed it at interview WITH HER! It was agreed that as Mr qualifications were in a similar field and 3 levels above this course I'd be ok Hmm
I think she has an issue with this??

Because of my qualifications (PhD) everyone makes the assumption that I'll sail through this course. So there is expectations that I will excel. I am worried that I'll battle to even pass and will be humiliated Blush

I've not studied for 15 years! I have the first piece of homework and I'm totally blindsided. Overthinking and paranoid.

There are so many other reasons why this was a mistake. Principally my delicate mental health. Am terrified. I'd found a safe job but now I'm going to fuck it up

OP posts:
Wheresthattomoibabber · 31/08/2017 08:43

Don't panic! Learning at any age and at any level is so good for you.

I can relate to the overthinking - have an honors degree and did an NVQ3 and the tutor kept saying to me "don't dig so deep, scratch the surface".

olderandnowiser · 31/08/2017 08:44

Well I admire you. I too was a mature student and I still think that because I was able to use my life experience I was able to get a lot out of my studies. All qualifications are good.

I say give it a really good go. Your tutor probably feels threatened by you incase you know more than her. Be polite and friendly and give it your best shot. And best wishes, I wish you luck.

Wheresthattomoibabber · 31/08/2017 08:45

And the tutor is probably feeling threatened by you.

MrsJayy · 31/08/2017 08:47

The lecturer is probably stand offish with everybody and you might be panicking you will settle in then blend in and just get on with it. Friend of mine did something similar through her work she was 45, deep breaths Lem you will be fine ☺

winewolfhowls · 31/08/2017 08:48

Calm down its only the first week (I think?)
Anything scary is new. Give yourself time to settle in.
If you were accepted onto the course, it's likely you can do it. Just try your best. You are focused on being overqualified and putting pressure on yourself, other people are oblivious to your qualifications.
Even if it goes Tits Up you won't regret not doing it. Your age means nothing, and in fact I'm slightly jealous that you are starting something new. Flowers

Penny4UrThoughts · 31/08/2017 08:49

Och, you are probably more qualified than her so she is trying to take you down a peg so she doesn't feel so threatened.

Don't worry about her, just focus on doing the best you can. You've got this, I'm sure!

Timeforabiscuit · 31/08/2017 08:52

Perfectly, perfectly natural to be thrown - but actually really good for you and well done!

Do you enjoy the topic? 47 is no age at all, and the tutor will be trying to work out where the possible gaps are in your knowledge as curriculum changes through the year.

Just try to relax and enjoy the lectures, you have nothing to prove to anyone at all.Brew

Original poster
LEMtheoriginal · 31/08/2017 09:11

I do enjoy the topic (And my job) . I will have covered (And taught Blush) what I call the basic general padding umpteen times before but once we go past that (Very quickly) I will be exactly the same level as the others. That us where I'm worried that I've forgotten how to study. There will alot of terminology to memorise and these days i struggle to remember why i left one room and entered another.

I am hoping that the main tutor I have won't be aware that I have a PhD (only relevant as it's in a related subject). because I don't want people to think I'm arrogant (I hope I'm not) but equally don't want them to think I'm stupid Shock

My colleague is already threatening to tell everyone I'm her mum - bloody cow Grin

OP posts:
grandOlejukeofYork · 31/08/2017 09:15

And the tutor is probably feeling threatened by you

She's very probably not. This is just another form of the inane "she's jealous" that gets thrown about here. Hmm

olderandnowiser · 31/08/2017 09:20

I've not been on MN long but it always strikes me as very odd that someone would bother to log on with the sole intent of upsetting others.

MrsJayy · 31/08/2017 09:32

You are tying yourself up in knots there with your whatifs i am assuming you have a tonne of anxiety going on anyway and this is just something else to fret over? Forget your phd for now see this as a new challange you will remember stuff if not it will be written down do what the kids do and get those coloured cards and write points down

Original poster
LEMtheoriginal · 31/08/2017 09:32

To be fair - I agree that she won't feel threatened or jealous. She has a reputation for being a bitch and I was told I wouldn't like her. At the first interview I appreciated her directness and thought she was ok but at enrolment she was clearly thrown because my qualifications weren't standard. So the course requires 5 GCSE A-C and I only actual GCSE. The rest were equivalents and an access course. What annoyed me is that we had discussed this at interview. I had personally checked with the examining body that my entry qualifications would be acceptable and they said it was fine. I know for a fact (as I worked there as a supply lecturer - she doesn't know this!) that the college sets it's own bar for entry and it isn't set in stone.

So either she is being awkward or genuinely forgot about my weird qualifications . Maybe it was the latter.

We also didn't have the appropriate paperwork with us due to it not being given to us by our line manager so she clearly was unimpressed. At least it was both of us though - line manager is adamant she wasn't sent the email. Who knows!!

I feel like a child!

OP posts:
Original poster
LEMtheoriginal · 31/08/2017 09:35

Olderandnowiser - have you posted on this thread by mistake? Everyone has been really supportive

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 31/08/2017 09:36

She maybe has her standard school levers qualification in her head and it threw her but if she is a bit meh anyway I wouldn't take it personally.

Original poster
LEMtheoriginal · 31/08/2017 09:40

Mrs Jayy - I had forgotten all about the coloured index cards Grin I've already told my boss I'll be printing stuff off and plastering all over the walls!

I'm going into town with dd today to buy stationary (exciting!!) am ridiculously excited about highlighter Grin

I can do this - can't I?

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 31/08/2017 09:40

Erm that would be School leavers not levers Hmm

FinallyHere · 31/08/2017 09:41

totally blindsided. Overthinking and paranoid.

dont want them to think I am arrogant... or stupid

And breathe. And again, exhale completely. Take another breath and exhale completely and consider your options. You have been accepted on a course, so one way of thinking about it, is that you are now equal with everyone else accepted onto this course. Trust that the course will be effective and enable you to reach the learning objectives. The efficiency with which this happens for you, is to a great extend up to you. You can continue the paranoid, overthinking, putting yourself under immense pressure path.

Or you could, you know, relax and enjoy the journey. Accept that if you are to learn, you, along with everyone else who has enrolled, will need to come out of your comfort zone. Think about the 'conscious competence learning model'. Where are you currently, where do you want to be? What's next? It could be fun, but it needs to challenge you, you know that.

I get that it is not easy. I coasted through an BA, MSc. and an MBA, then nearly killed myself doing a routine foundation course in my own subject, twenty years after i qualified, simply by putting myself under pressure about something that really didn't matter either way, so I do recognise the trap you can so easily fall i to.

I salute you for taking this on and encourage you to step back and think about what advice you would give anyone else in your situation. All the best. And breathe.

MrsJayy · 31/08/2017 09:42

My dd has just finished her police exams and she still used her index cards and highlighters 😁

MrsJayy · 31/08/2017 09:43

Of course you can do it

FinallyHere · 31/08/2017 09:44

Oohh, glad to catch up with the thread while i was typing and know that you are re-engaging with the joys of stationery.... That has got to be a good sign.

MikazaMikaza · 31/08/2017 09:53

Hey what's the course?

theymademejoin · 31/08/2017 09:55

You have a PhD. That shows you have determination and persistence. That will get you through an awful lot. Buy a book or check out some online resources on study skills. Use them to remind yourself how to do it. Do up a schedule for study, assignments etc. Stick to it.

The main thing you need is confidence that you can do it. You got yourself through a PhD so you're obviously a very capable person. Try not to twist yourself up in knots or overthink things. In my experience, mature students tend to be fantastic so long as they don't overthink things.

Ask your tutors for advice on work in progress. Accept the advice, act on it in a systematic way and move on. If you find you are over thinking and worrying, speak to your tutor earlier rather than later.

Best of luck. I hope you enjoy it.

Original poster
LEMtheoriginal · 31/08/2017 10:34

Veterinary nursing

OP posts:
MikazaMikaza · 31/08/2017 10:46

OH. Was hoping for inspiration but that's well beyond my capabilities.

Good luck LEM!!

smurfit · 31/08/2017 11:30

It's really hard getting back into study after a long break away from it. I'm almost finished my new qualification and my advice would be to lower the expectations. I overcomplicated everything because I'd been working in the industry for a number of years, most assignments were simplified or had really narrow scopes but I tried to think of everything. Once I got over this, it all became a lot more manageable.

Getting back into a learning state of mind took a period of adjustment though. Initially it was exciting, a new venture! It waned and became a chore.

Good luck! It's great to learn new stuff! It's been hard but it's definitely been useful!