To still not understand the Diana "thing"?

[TeaCake5]

As William and harry said they were bewildered by people who didn't even know her acting in the way they did. Yes it was sad that she was killed but to hand around kensington palace for days crying? Ridiculous.

'Diana knew exactly what she was doing when she married Charles, she wanted to marry the heir to the throne, even although she must have been fully aware he didn't love her.'

You have such insight, it's clear that you must have had conversations with Diana that most of us were not privy to.

She was a pea-brained woman whose chief - perhaps only - accomplishment was the successful wearing of clothes. You had to feel at least theoretically sorry for someone married to such an outstandingly unpleasant man as the prince of Wales, but her death was no loss to anyone except those who knew her personally. Again, you have to feel sorry for any children undergoing the rancorous divorce of their parents, especially two such inadequate parents as theirs. But anyone who claims to feel a personal grief is either kidding themselves or emotionally immature; the public "mourning", then as now, is purely a media construct.

apostropheuse

"I was the same age as her and was a mother, so obviously felt sorry for her sons - as you would be for any child losing his or her parent."

You'll be in trouble with TheLuminaries! If you haven't met them then "it isn't your bereavement to publically emote about."

Geordie1944 It sounds like you know rancour inside and out!

I think Diana broke down barriers across society. People were devastated that she had died in such a horrible accident, leaving her children behind. People felt like they knew her, whether they did or not. Grief is completely natural when someone dies, whoever that person is. Try not to judge other people's emotions. It is not something to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

I was on holiday in Barbados when she died.

All the hotel staff were speaking to UK guests asking if they were alright and saying sorry for the loss of "your princess".

Yes, I was sad that a young woman with 2 children had died, but I didn't (and never have) felt a sense of ownership (for want of a better word) in her passing or the mass grieving that followed.

I didn't know her and frankly I've always wondered how many people who, unlike me, spent time with her did in reality.

I think she was a complex person, as perhaps many of us are, but warped to a degree by the expectations placed on her by both the press, the "firm" and even herself.

I think she did some very good work for charity and certainly broke the Royal mould in associating herself with "controversial" charities that until then the royal family had eschewed. I do respect her for this.

As for her marriage, frankly it was a match that was never going to work. I think she was very young and naive, in love with the fairytale of marrying the Prince. Charles in turn was getting older and under pressure to find someone "suitable". He's someone who was old before his time and she was young - even for her age - I can't fathom what they possibly had in common, other than the desire to marry for the wrong reasons.

I don't buy into this narrative of saint Diana and/or evil Charles/Camilla. It's 20 years ago, yes and frankly I think that marks a time for the public to move forward and not look back.

Can someone here explain why they're so invested in the grief of these people that they don't understand? Why the preoccupation with something that doesn't affect you in any way at all?

"You have such insight, it's clear that you must have had conversations with Diana that most of us were not privy to".

Oh ok then - it must have been a love-match. She was besotted with him for his good looks, humour and good nature. They had so much in common.

I read it all wrong.

I never understood it either OP! Wailing and crying in the streets - ridiculous. Mass hysteria took over, whipped up by the media pumping it for all its worth - unfortunately thats still happening today. Those poor boys of hers. I of course didn't know her personally, but given her seemingly immense sense of compassion and self awareness, I can't help thinking she'd be embarrassed by the hysteria both at her funeral and today.

Borodin I'm not invested particularly; I just think it's an interesting discussion. I am especially interested in the aspects regarding media manipulation and how people felt that they could not express a counter view at the time. I have always been interested in the whole concept of "groupthink" and how that is managed and manipulated.

I don't think the crying in itself that is the offensive part, even though I found it odd or the feeling sad for two children who have lost their mother, who wouldn't but its when your 'grief' makes you so selfish that you have to impose it on the family of the dead. You then make people who are dealing with a terrible thing in their lives responsible for your feelings. Pawing and crying out, shouting and writing offensive things about the family of the dead persons children in the name of your grief is objectionable. Its all about you, not the people who have lost someone who they actually did know and love.

Geordie you know Prince Charles do you? Please tell us how you met?

For the nation, it was no more to them than reading a sad story or watching a death in Coronation Street. Diana knew how to manipulate the press by using her eyes to look coy, hurt etc. I don't know how the pair got married in the first place, to start with they only dated 13 times and what the heck did she see in him. What man leaves a young glamorous wife to have an affair with a woman older than himself and quite ordinary looking too! The overreacting public more or less forced the Queen to go against Royal Protocol and bow down to what they, the hysterical public wanted. It was a story forced upon us by the press ramming it down our throats at every opportunity. Diana tried to to good things and her son's follow her they are sensitive to other peoples feelings, nice boys!

My mum was, and still is, an avid fan of Diana's, my dad always used to call Diana princess big nose purely to wind my mum up but I vividly remember all 3 of us crying together that Sunday morning whilst watching the news!! I remember waking early and going downstairs to watch t.v. and every channel showing the exact same thing and running upstairs to tell my parents. It was a very sad day. My mum and I went to lay flowers at Kensington palace, I went because I knew it meant something to my mum.
I remember watching the funeral and feeling so sorry for William and Harry and could not possibly fathom their pain.
However 20 years later...... Good God, leave the woman in peace!! She was hounded enough by the press during her life and her actual death!! I just wish the media would leave her be now.

I will say my favourite memory of her is the footage when returning back from a journey and her flinging her arms wide open to hug her boys! She loved those boys and to see any mother taken so tragically early from any childs life is a sad thing.

Papafran and others.
You are quite right "ordinary life" is a bit rich.
Most of us don't mix with people who have leprosy, people who have been injured by land mines, people who are in severe distress, homeless people etc etc.
The princes did because Diana wanted them to know about another side of life, yes of course she was privileged no one would argue otherwise. But do you think that any system where there are leaders and followers are fair and equal? Are without ulterior motives? There is no system currently that is without privilege and favour, and which does not try to further its own cause. None of that detracts from the fact that when Diana died It was a sad time for many people if only for what and who she symbolised to each person. And agreed, for some she meant nothing. But for others she meant a great deal.

Can I ask how old OP was when you heard the news? I was 22 and having the best summer ever with a new boyfriend and had just moved into my own flat having a fab time when the news knocked me for 6. This is one of 2 occasions that I remember exactly what I was doing at the time I heard the news(the other was the twin towers). It was the most horrific news to wake up to. I get upset even now as I am transported back to that morning 20 years ago. Can't believe there are so many people on here that are so blasé about the truly shocking nature of her death. That is what I find strange and absurd.

What man leaves a young glamorous wife to have an affair with a woman older than himself and quite ordinary looking too!

Maybe someone who thinks looks aren't everything?? Camilla is just over a year older than Charles (not that it would matter if she was 5 years older than him). He obviously loved her and had a lot more in common with her than his 'young glamorous wife'.
Seriously, with comments like this from women, people then complain that men objectify women.

I do wonder at the children and teenagers solemnly laying flowers this week. Few people under 23-24 will have any actual memory of Diana. The small ones probably think they're honouring a fictional princess or one from history. They may even equate her with a religious figure. How strange!

Most of us don't mix with people who have leprosy, people who have been injured by land mines, people who are in severe distress, homeless people etc etc

Not leprosy or landmines, no, but my work has certainly brought me into contact with the homeless and those in severe distress. I have worked to make their lives marginally better and I don't dispute that Diana did good things by destigmatising AIDS etc. However, let's not get too carried away. Her job was to be patron of charities and she could choose which ones she was involved with. Yes, she brought William and Harry along a couple of times to her charity work, but they still lead lives of enormous privilege and are no more (or less) down to earth than any of the other royals their age.

I disagree. If someone who had never met my father had turned up at his funeral and ostentatiously wept and wailed, I would feel every right to question the validity of their grief.

Would it not occur to you to wonder why they were expressing grief when you had not met them? You may not know everything about your father.

Yuji, I didn't talk about a person I had never met, I talked about someone my father had never met. The comparison is self-evidently with people who had certainly never met Diana. So you've completely missed the point.

This point aside, Diana was a high profile public person. Why do people like, adore, etc, 'stars' it is almost always that we identify with that person. We don't have to know them but we put something of ourselves into them. It is ourselves with whom we are identifying and if you can't do that ?

Yes, you can identify with them to an extent. It doesn't mean that, when they die, you genuinely grieve for them.

apostropheuse

"Oh ok then - it must have been a love-match. She was besotted with him for his good looks, humour and good nature. They had so much in common."

You know perfectly well that you have offered a ridiculous alternative which is a very unlikely one of many. So you're presumably also aware that Yujismum was correct to call you out.

"I read it all wrong"

Yes. You did.

Apostropheuse, I question why should she have known that PC didn't love her? And you have no more information than the rest of us, I presume.
You, nor I nor anyone else could possibly be in her mind and know what she was thinking, feeling.

Ceto how would you know your father had never met someone who turned up at his funeral?

"What man leaves a young glamorous wife to have an affair with a woman older than himself and quite ordinary looking too!"

You must be a world class beauty who has never shagged a younger man
.Either that or a first order twunt.