To still not understand the Diana "thing"?

[TeaCake5]

As William and harry said they were bewildered by people who didn't even know her acting in the way they did. Yes it was sad that she was killed but to hand around kensington palace for days crying? Ridiculous.

I wonder if it's because we knew that the Royal family hadn't looked after her and helped her when she married Charles after 11 meetings that we felt more emotional towards her.

I dreamt she died then woke up to be told she had and my dream was all true.

I think people who criticise others for their strong emotions are pretty sad really. It doesn't affect them if someone else feels an emotion they don't.

What I find most ridiculous, is the media keep raving on about her even now. I don't understand why there is still so much hype. Yes it was very tragic and sad but does she still need to be making headlines even now? I think it's disgusting behaviour by the media who are clearly just jumping on the 'Diana sells' bandwagon.

What happened was a horrible tragic event in which a young mother lost her life, yes she was very popular but none of the general public 'knew her' no matter how many trashy magazines they read, and their ridiculous wailing and carrying on was in incredibly poor taste considering two young boys lost their mum. Their actual mum. Not some idea of a person they'd seen on tv and never met. And I still find the public's insatiable interest in her very distasteful and a sad indictment of our society. The media just want to sell their papers and shows with no real respect for her or her life and the loved ones she left behind, all her so called 'friends' and confidants want to jump on the Diana gravy train and the public just lap it up.

Christ I wasnt expecting that to get so ranty. Got carried away there.

She was not only very beautiful but had a warm and friendly manner unlike the other royals, she supported charities that were not popular and clearly devoted a lot of time and energy to them on an informal as well as formal basis. Some Royals still wear white cotton gloves so they don't have to touch the public when shaking hands, Diana literally embraced them. She was a great mother as her sons testify, ever likely she was loved so much by so many, she simply captured the public's imagination.

On the day she died we were off on holiday to the Isle of Wight. DS 1 and 2 were 6 and 3 at the time. They got up early as they were excited and came back upstairs saying there was nothing on the television but sad music. I felt devastated. I was a tough and self reliant criminal defence solicitor at the time but I felt as bereaved and sad as if a close relation had died, that was the effect she had.

I didn't go to lay flowers, I cried silently as I watched the funeral but I did understand the outpouring of grief, and how it was appropriate given the person she was and the way she had been treated. I struggle to understand the animosity in some of the comments on here, criticising the poor woman because she wanted her hair done to suit her wishes for her wedding as if it was a serious character flaw. What do any of us amount to at the end? Her legacy through her two accomplished and lovely sons remains with us.

There are few people as iconic as Diana. JFK and Marilyn Monroe are the first that spring to mind. She will be forever with us.

it was as incomprehemsinle to them at the time as it was to the vast majority of the population.

That's actually not true. There was a survey at the time and only about 25% of the population was unaffected by her death. It was huge. Aside from the nutters weeping and wailing there were plenty of more restrained demonstrations of sadness from the rest of the population. Like muffled bells ringing in all the churches.

There was no empathy for those boys in dragging them and their grandparents back so the public could see them grieve.

That's not true. Nobody demanded that the children do anything. Walking behind the coffin was a political move for the royal family. If Charles Spencer had walked alone they would have been criticised. But Charles Windsor couldn't walk without them there to act as his 'protection' as their presence was a buffer for him. They were made to walk for the benefit of the image of the Royal Family. Nothing more, nothing less.

In turning on their grandmother who rightly had them squirrelled up at balmoral, no empathy or respect shown to those boys, their father and their grandparents

This misrepresents what happened. They would have been fine 'squirrelling' the boys away if they had made some small gesture acknowledging her death. A statement, an acknowledgment in the royal prayers. There was nothing. It was a clear and calculated snub. I think people forget how much rancour existed between her and the Royal Family at the time. It would have been astounding if it hadn't been noticed. The Queen is not the woman on the street. She has a team of media advisors and PRs. It wasn't an innocent calculation not to mention her death, it was a deliberate snub.

Louise Glad I'm not the only one who got insane comments about 'cancelling the wedding'!

Constance Honestly? Your little children were excited and happy to be going on holiday and you spent the day weeping silently and watching a 'celebrity' funeral? You should be ashamed of yourself frankly. It must have upset them.

My Mother went to KP and laid flowers.
She travelled over 100miles and couldn't really afford the fare and the bouquet. when she told me, I asked her why she hadn't just given the money to one of Diana's charities, such as the landmine one?
She said that she had 'needed to go'.

I think there has been a lot of class-ist remarks about the 'stupid' DM reading classes wailing and indulging in their grief, Jerry Springer style. My Mother does not fit this stereotype.

However, she is a person who has unresolved grief in her own life.
I wonder if many were mourning not Diana, whom none of us knew, merely the spin presented by the Media, the Firm, and herself,
but were expressing a more general sense of loss that we have very little output for in our everyday lives.

When a young famous talented person is suddenly killed, full of promise and potential, then we mourn that loss (like James Dean/JFK etc) When that person is beautiful and a Mother to the future King and the most photographed woman in the world, the effect is amplified.

think it's disgusting behaviour by the media who are clearly just jumping on the 'Diana sells' bandwagon.

Er, but Diana wouldn't sell if people weren't interested in her would she? Why should the press not write about something which is of genuine interest and still controversial? Of course the press write about things people are interested in. Look how quickly this thread is growing.

I remember being sad when she died.. it seemed such a waste. I was especially sad for the boys.

I also remember being incredulous that some of the people in my office were off sick, with grief.

I was massively shocked and very sad when she died as I too was a young mum with then 2 boys.

I cried yesterday at a very moving interview with the mother of a teenage dd killed in the Manchester bombings.

If you can't understand that op I feel sorry for you

ooh, re the whole only meeting 12 times and it being all formal - I used to work for a woman who was at Cambridge at the same time as Prince Charles (she was a bit younger but they still overlapped by at least 1 year).

She had a good friend who was from the 'right' sort of family (title, country pile and the like) who was akwardly asked out on a date by Prince Charles. Boss' friend agreed, but prior to the date her friend recieved a phone call from the Palace to instruct her on how to address him (on a date she was expected to call him Sir at all times) and general acceptable behaviour. Friend was appalled and apparently told the person from the Palace "tell him to stuff it!" (which was pretty rude for a posh gal in the late 60s).

My old boss said the rest of her friends found the whole thing hilarious - but the mother of said posh gal was horrified.

(Unfortunately, this is as exciting as my royal stories go)

Margaret, you said that they should have done a "statement...there was nothing". You are making things up!

At 5.35am that morning, there was the following statement from Buckingham Palace:

"Buckingham Palace has confirmed the death of Diana, Princess of Wales. In a statement it said that the Queen and Prince Philip were deeply shocked and distressed by this terrible news. Other members of the Royal Family are being informed of the Princess's death."

So before even William and Harry knew of their mother's death, they HAD given a statement.

Margaret - that's not entirely true - the boys were being looked after in Balmoral by the Queen and Prince Philip because Charles went to sort out bringing Diana's body back and sorting the funeral - the demands of the red tops that the Queen should be "with her people" (because some how only 'her people' in London count, not the ones in Scotland) would mean either leaving the boys with just the staff or dragging them back to London too.

Honestly? Your little children were excited and happy to be going on holiday and you spent the day weeping silently and watching a 'celebrity' funeral? You should be ashamed of yourself frankly. It must have upset them.

However, she is a person who has unresolved grief in her own life.
I wonder if many were mourning not Diana, whom none of us knew, merely the spin presented by the Media, the Firm, and herself,
but were expressing a more general sense of loss that we have very little output for in our everyday lives.

When a young famous talented person is suddenly killed, full of promise and potential, then we mourn that loss

This in spades. It was a huge release for all sorts of completely unrelated things that people identified with in Diana. Children of divorced parents or those with unhappy childhoods, divorced women, women recovering from abusive relationships, people who'd been cheated on, people who felt their own potential hadn't been reached or that their dreams had been destroyed. They were crying for themselves as much as Diana.

We were a much more repressed society then. The era of people getting offended by every damn thing and publicly weeping over how hard done by the are hadn't happened. We were still very buttoned up and it provided a big release.

It is so weird. I was living in my home country, which is a part of the commonwealth. So the British embassy opened the doors for the public to come and sign a book which was going to be sent to the royal family. I remember standing hours in the queue to sign it.

Looking back, I think I was crazy. There were a million better things I could have used my time for.

Diana stood up to a stuffy, archaic, judgmental monarchy and its rigid systems, once she realised how it all worked.

But she didn't, really. She kicked against it a bit inasmuch as it directly affected her, but no more than that.

I miss that repressed society

Yes it's sad, 2 boys lost their mum but she really wasn't the victim she is being made out to be. She used the media shamelessly at times, and put herself in a very vulnerable position with Dodi Al Fayed as his security wasn't up to the job. I'm just heartily done with it, and will be glad once today is over. I still don't understand the public reaction, and think the Royal Family should have been allowed to get on with it all behind closed doors for William and Harry's sake. It was a circus and those two boys were thrown to the lions in the public interest. Are we going to get this reaction to it still every 5 years..........

BlessYourCottonSocks Of course not. the funeral was not until Saturday 6 September, the day we came home - why on earth would you think that the funeral was on the day she died? We had a great holiday but I still felt sad and had a little weep when I was able to watch the funeral on the evening of the 6th when we were home and the boys were in bed. You are extremely judgemental and very intolerant.

I struggle to understand the animosity in some of the comments on here, criticising the poor woman because she wanted her hair done to suit her wishes for her wedding as if it was a serious character flaw.

She wanted her hair done a certain way that involved rollers. The hairdresser warned her that if she took them out too early the style would flop. She went ahead and took them out. The hair flopped, just like he said it would.
It's a fairly serious flaw to choose an expert and then ignore them.

That's actually not true. There was a survey at the time and only about 25% of the population was unaffected by her death

There is a big difference between being affected, and weeping and wailing. We were all affected, we all felt sad or shocked or whatever. That doesn't equate to weeping or wailing for most of us.

They were made to walk for the benefit of the image of the Royal Family

I somewhat agree, but that's simplistic. It was clearly in response to the public back lash for them not public grieving.

They would have been fine 'squirrelling' the boys away if they had made some small gesture acknowledging her death

Buckingham palace released a statement pretty soon after her death. I still have no clue why people like you think the queen had to personally make a statement for her ex daughter in law. I saw no need for it then and I still do not see the need for it. The buck palace statemenet was sufficient. Your attitude is what led to those boys being put in the spotlight.

Crikey I must be a terrible person. When I was 19 i did things with my hair that other people didn't like. If that was my worst character flaw I would be delighted. She was 19.

Private Eye has tweeted a picture of the article a couple of us have mentioned with before and after articles about Diana.