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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if it is possible I have randomly been cured of an eating disorder I have had for 20 years?

28 replies

speckofglitter · 30/08/2017 22:00

Ever since I was a teenager I have starved myself, then binged. I used to use laxatives to purge but I stopped that maybe 7 years ago.

Having kids didn't stop me, if anything it made anxiety about my body worse. Then food was sort of my only friend. I just found eating anything made me want more and then I'd binge unless I stuck to rigid rules.

For over a week now ... I haven't. I've had some junk, like today I had fries and a McFlurry. Then stopped. Normally I'd have eaten half of Sainsburys by now.

Could I randomly have been cured?

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2017 22:03

Has anything else in your life changed recently?

Original poster

speckofglitter · 30/08/2017 22:06

Not really - it's very strange!

I am happy, but cautious.

OP posts:

Whatsername17 · 30/08/2017 22:06

I'm a former bulimic. I don't know if you can be magically cured. I had CBT. It helped but having my first daughter was what gave me the kick to just stop. Whatever it was, you've done brilliantly!

Flopjustwantscoffee · 30/08/2017 22:08

This is nowhere near comparable so sorry if I offend. But I had a similar thing happen with my nails - I used to bite not just my nails but the skin around them compulsively. It looked really really bad and was often really painful but I couldn't stop. Then, recently, I decided I wasn't going to bite my fingers anymore and I just.... stopped. Took a while for the skin to heal and the nails are still a Funny shape due to being damaged I guess but it looks soooo much better. I have no idea why this time it felt so easy though. I have actually been going through so,e stress and that normally makes it worse....

Flopjustwantscoffee · 30/08/2017 22:09

As I said, I don't want to compare biting nails to an eating disorder, but I wanted to mention it as I was really compulsive and suddenly just wasn't. I know it wasn't just a matter of will power as if it was I would have managed before but it's strange...

Original poster

speckofglitter · 30/08/2017 22:10

You don't offend me at all, it's strange.

I was out on bank holiday Monday and shared a jacket potato with DD. Normally eating that early in the day would have triggered a binge. But I got in and just had a smoothie. Then went to bed.

I haven't thought consciously I am going to stop, maybe that is why!

OP posts:

ApuskiDoo · 30/08/2017 22:12

I had anorexia that went. Three years of hell and then I got better.

I can see it was mostly getting away from triggers and miserable environment I was in. But it happened quite quickly albeit with lots of wobbles.

If you have a relapse, remember all is not lost. Don't give up your recovery.

Excited101 · 30/08/2017 22:17

Well done! Make sure you take credit for this, you may not know how you did it, but you did do it- no one else! Focus on these feelings if you get times where it doesn't feel as easy to eat healthily. Write it all down if you can, it'll help reinforce the positivity when you need to.

Ummmmgogo · 30/08/2017 22:17

yes of course it's possible. people grow and change all the time. you've probably just grown out of it. xx

ImperialBlether · 30/08/2017 22:19

I would think my mind had healed itself, OP. Maybe it's been healing bit by bit and now everything's just fallen into place and you're fine. What a fantastic feeling it must be.

Original poster

speckofglitter · 30/08/2017 22:23

I like that, Imperial, "my mind healed itself."

Thanks. I'll take that, I think

Don't get me wrong, I know I am not "cured" but the fact that I am neither starving hungry or miserably stuffed with sugar and carbohydrates is really nothing short of remarkable.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 30/08/2017 22:31

Now might be the time to do something like yoga, do you think? It's supposed to be great for balancing your mind and stopping you from thinking obsessive thoughts.

Chickoletta · 30/08/2017 22:32

Brilliant! Well done.

Original poster

speckofglitter · 30/08/2017 22:33

Possibly ... I know everybody says it doesn't matter, but I really am NOT flexible in the slightest!

OP posts:

hollieberrie · 30/08/2017 22:38

How exciting for you OP. Well done!
Again, not trivialising, but when i gave up smoking it happened a bit like this. I tried on and off for YEARS. With gum, ecigs everything. Then one day, without any replacements, i just STOPPED. Its been 2 years. I don't miss it and i never feel tempted.

Harvestmoonsobig · 30/08/2017 22:40

🌸🌸🌸

Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2017 22:44

Whatever the reason why, I'm very happy for you! Perhaps if you keep a journal about how you're feeling day-to-day, you might gain a better understanding of this positive change.

sparklewater · 30/08/2017 22:50

That's wonderful news. It's a bit euphoric, isn't it, eating and then stopping before a binge gets hold of you.

If it helps, and you have any wobbles, I stopped myself by refusing to let myself purge. Binging was so uncomfortable that I only slipped up a few times and I never even think of it now.

Good luck. Enjoy food again!!!!

ImperialBlether · 30/08/2017 22:54

My daughter's mad on yoga - it healed her depression and has given her so much confidence and a great body, too! She says, though, that it does far more for your mind than it does for your body.

Original poster

speckofglitter · 30/08/2017 22:57

I will look into it, then!

Can't hurt, right? :)

OP posts:

bonzo77 · 30/08/2017 22:58

Too early to say. Who knows? Probably the fact that it's even on your mind means that it's not quite fully over. Yet. I had a terrible thing with food (binging then starving / over exercising to compensate, laxatives, slimming pills). I did wake up one day and realise that I hadn't done it in ages. And not done it since. That was about 7 years ago. After my 1st baby. Interestingly my weight has gradually decreased with no effort at all. My interest in my weight shows to me that it's not quite over...

sizeofalentil · 30/08/2017 23:00

I had disordered eating (starving, binging, vomiting etc) for most of my life. Had it when I met DH as I remember making myself sick after a few meals. But, somehow it just stopped itself and I'm not sure when or how.

So it's entirely possible, I think.

ImperialBlether · 30/08/2017 23:03

If you're near Brighton, OP, let me know.

Original poster

speckofglitter · 30/08/2017 23:08

Sadly, no - north west based (though hoping to move soon so who knows!)

OP posts:

kateandme · 30/08/2017 23:22

Don't overthink.that's wen ur demon illness will give worries and doubts...by then ul need to cope and might kick off unhelpful feelings again.
Instead go through ur body and notice how good it feels.Uve not over filled.over judged.berated urself.how kick it in the face amzing u should feel hun!remember this goodness.u might wobble.thays recovery and that's the demon trying t grab u back to help.but then think of this how free this is.all u can do without those thoughts filling ur head on constant berating reel.and just keep going.life isn't perfect but if u hit a stumble wat can u do instead of eating disorder behaviors.go out.be with loved ones.remember how happy and astonishing this freedom feels.yay!dont give up.ever.happiness is ur right .starving.binging is illness.fight it.
Ur so brave.so strong please feel good and keep going

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