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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Our goldfish has died

38 replies

alwaysprepare · 30/08/2017 21:11

Just now really, we have three in the tank that I regularly clean.

DS went to feed them as he usually does and said his one is just lying listlessly at the bottom. I had pre emptied this when we bought them almost a year ago by saying their lifespan is usually a year or less, and we'd be lucky to get more. We had ours just under a year, so I said he may have been already older when we brought him.
Just went to have a look and he ox definitely dead, I think I feel worse than the kids as I just can't handle these kind of situations (death etc, ) anyway.

On the internet,they said to take him out asap so othe fish don't feed on him and get infected by dead flesh bacteria. Will also wash and change the water.

I kept the kids occupied on something else for now, and there have been no questions, what do we do here? A funeral in the toilet like the movies? Bury him in the morning? What did you guys do in this case? Don't want to make too much of a big deal, while having closure. It's not like we lost a dog/ cat, but he did feed it almost daily.

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 30/08/2017 21:14

Goldfish live longer than a year! Was that a white lie to make it easier?

Definitely remove him from the environment.

Bury him and be honest about death.

bluekite · 30/08/2017 21:15

How old are DS and the other kids? It's a really good teaching opportunity with regards to death, if he hasn't experienced it before.

Take the fish out and give him a funeral however you feel is appropriate for your kids - a burial if you can, toilet flushing is traditional but bad for the plumbing!

DS might care more than he's showing so closure is good.

Floralnomad · 30/08/2017 21:18

Goldfish in captivity generally have a lifespan of 5-10 years , definitely bury him not flush that is very disrespectful IMO . Do you have the right size tank and conditions for goldfish ?

Original poster
alwaysprepare · 30/08/2017 21:20

Yes, it was a pre empted lie, because I had a fish that died while I was on my own.

They are 5, 7 and 9. Never had a death in the family or close.

But 5 year old had seemed traumatised for a few weeks when an elderly at church died. It was described as death from old age while he slept, so he did not want to go to sleep and get ol and die , iyswim.

OP posts:
WombattingFree · 30/08/2017 21:21

Goldfish Flounder lived for around 10years. He was transported in a quality street tub (the old clear plastic one with a lid) from wales to London when we moved in the 90's.

YABU for thinking a year is good innings.

YANBU if you are considering a full funeral service for your fish.

Original poster
alwaysprepare · 30/08/2017 21:22

We brought the tank with the fish and the seller told me it was the correct size for the size and number and I stuck to his cleaning rules too.

OP posts:
user1490465531 · 30/08/2017 21:23

goldfish should only be kept in ponds they are not made for tanks/bowls and it is cruel to keep them in these.
Kept in ponds they can live 20+ years easily .Sadly they are sold as beginners pets but they are very hard to keep water temperature and ph balance has to be just right high levels of ammonia can kill them instantly.
Kept in tanks they are lucky to make it to a year.

toomuchhappyland · 30/08/2017 21:24

Goldfish can live for 20 years. They need huge tanks and for 3, you should have at least 200 litres. Your fish has died most likely due to a small tank and poor water quality. Upgrade the tank if you want the others to live longer.

Polter · 30/08/2017 21:25

Please don't get more goldfish and please improve the lives of your existing fish.

SlaveToDisney · 30/08/2017 21:25

When you say change the water are you changing all of it or only partially? You should never so a 100% water change and in extreme circumstances a 50% water change is necessary however around a 20% change a week is recommended.

monkeyfacegrace · 30/08/2017 21:25

Oh jesus. Your last post says it all.

3 goldfish? Fancy or regular?

I presume your tank is 300L+ with an external filter?

Poor sod probably died of ammonia poisoning.

Just tell the kids the truth Confused It got poorly and died. Bury it in the garden, job done.

SlaveToDisney · 30/08/2017 21:26

Also forgot to add are they actually goldfish? Or a different species that people often call goldfish. Goldfish need huge tanks and usually kept in ponds not tanks due to the amount of space they need.

monkeyfacegrace · 30/08/2017 21:26

Cross post with all the other mad fish ladies Grin

SlaveToDisney · 30/08/2017 21:27

X post with everyone.

funshine17 · 30/08/2017 21:27

Our goldfish has lasted 8 years so far.....

user1490465531 · 30/08/2017 21:28

Kindest thing you could do is transfer the remaining fish to a pond.
You will need to do it before the colder weather sets in so they have time to adjust to the change in water temperature.

monkeyfacegrace · 30/08/2017 21:28

I had a goldfish that I won at the fair when I was 8. It disappeared from my dad's pond a couple years ago when I was 27 Grin

Mouikey · 30/08/2017 21:30

My first goldfish (Percy) lived for about 10 years and I was devastated when he died (he knew my secrets!!!), another lived for about 5 years.

I always buried them and not down the toilet.

Also never do a full water change (except in exceptional circumstances and even then you need to rest the water and treat it). Hopefully you also have a huge tank as goldfishes don't do well in small tanks (especially comets).

Maelstrop · 30/08/2017 21:33

You need a big tank, filter, pump to aerate the tank. Please don't do a water change before getting the dechlorination liquid from an aquarium or pond shop. If possible, you might want to re-home to someone with a pond.

Maelstrop · 30/08/2017 21:34

You know untreated tap water burns their gills, don't you?

Rinoachicken · 30/08/2017 21:36

As pp have said, goldfish just cannot be humanely kept in tanks smaller than 250l and that would be a minimum for one goldfish. They have a natural lifespan of 20-30year and grow BIG. It is a myth that fish only grow as big as their tanks - it's simply that they become stunted and die before reaching maturity, as would a human kept in a small cupboard.

Goldfish are also a very messy fish, they need exellent filtration and water conditions, regular partial water changes etc to keep on top of the toxic chemicals like nitrate, nitrite and ammonia that will build up over time. If you have a good working filter and a planted tank it's only the nitrate that will build up, and then be removed with water changes. If you don't have a filter they will quickly sicken from ammonia poisoning and die.

If you can answer some of these questions then we can advise you how to extend the life of the remaining two fish:

  • How big is the tank/how much water does it hold?
  • do you have a filter and if so what kind? (Internal, external, make and capacity?)
  • how often do you change the water and how much water do you change each time?
  • is the tank planted with real plants?
  • what else is in the tank besides he two goldfish?
CornflakeHomunculus · 30/08/2017 21:40

There's lots of good information about appropriately sized tanks for goldfish here on the It's Not Just A Fish site. There's loads of good links at the bottom of that article as well which are also worth looking at.

Original poster
alwaysprepare · 30/08/2017 21:41

I have to say that I'm actually shocked that this does not come as standard information at the fish shop. They have the fish in there in a fish tank and absolutely never tell you that you need to take them to a pond, otherwise why would I buy a fish tank with them. Absolutely nothing about burning their gills etc...........
Surely all this should be specified from the get go.

OP posts:
monkeyfacegrace · 30/08/2017 21:43

Pet shops are ill informed animal abusing cunts, who run a business to make profit, nothing more. They aren't a charity.

Any questions?

user1490465531 · 30/08/2017 21:44

Pet shops just want to make money they don't Care about the welfare of the animals.
Even well known aquatic shops don't care they will still sell you a goldfish bowl despite knowing how cruel it is for the fish.

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