To give written guidelines to new nanny? Any advice for live-in nanny?

[toddlermom]

Hi, posting here for advice please.

Back to work next week with 3 month old and 3 year old at home and hiring live-in nanny for the first time. Is it reasonable to give her a list of written guidelines? And anyone who has had live-in nanny, any advice please for live-in nanny? She's doing Mon-Friday living in and then stays with boyfriend/family on the weekends.

Never had anyone live in before and slightly apprehensive. Any advice very welcome. Thank you!

I don't think there's anything wrong with guidelines, I'm a live out nanny and I would find it useful when settling in to a new job/someone's home. I assume these are house rules? If so give them to your nanny but make sure she feels she can discuss them with you, the last thing you want is her walking out on the first day because she doesn't agree with them

I think you should absolutely make any guidelines clearly known right from the beginning. It's your home, the Nanny is an employee, and she needs to know what is expected and accepted. If you start this relationship with open communication the chances of it working out are far greater.

Surely it's the Nannie's home too when she s off duty. Assuming nanny does not work 24 hours per day?

Id try get one from a nanny hire company as youll forget something important and the nanny can argue it wasnt written down

We've never had live-in help but have had FT nannies / household help for over a decade (since our eldest was born).

I think that written guidelines are excellent. We've always used them either for cleaning and household management or for looking after children. Of course things will change or may need to be added but it's a good place to start.

Make it clear that you're giving them to them not because you're a control freak but because you want to start off on the right foot. It's better for them to know what you like or don't like.

If they argue that something wasn't written down then they aren't especially suitable for this line of work IMO.

As a nanny, yes please! Completely reasonable for you to set out expectations/house rules, having something to refer to on paper when unsure in a situation in a new position can be massively helpful ime. Best of luck OP!

Yes please!! I'm a live out nanny and find a couple of pageants of guidelines/house info/expectations incredibly helpful!

It's far easier to have a few pages to refer back to then text MB/DB several times!

My current boss did an A-Z of the house and wrote anything from "PLEASE do not tumble dry any adult clothes other then pjs...kid stuff is fine!" to "please don't leave open the bottom of the sash windows if you're not in the room with the children" to "The garden hose leaks when you turn it on, careful otherwise you'll get soaked!"

She nervously handed it over when I started and was clearly worries about what I'd say but I was very pleased to have it!

I obviously can't send you a copy as it's not my info (!) but feel free to PMe if you want any advice on what is useful!

As a nanny of many years, both live in and live out, yes please! A list of the random things around the house that may differ or house preferences is great- for example be careful pulling out the washing machine drawer it falls easily, we prefer to use ironing water rather than tap water, general living things. Then anything job specific that may be overlooked when doing introduction to the job, like we prefer to buy only organic meat for the children so it's ok to spend a little more for that, or we prefer to buy all the children's food and leave the house stocked so let us know if you find yourself running out or want to try something new.

A nanny diary is brilliant, when I first start most jobs or if I have a baby or toddler I find myself filling each day with times and sizes of feeds, notes if feeds or naps were different to the norm, and I personally used to note all spends at the bottom so parents could see if they needed to up the money left or if they felt I was spending on things they'd prefer not.

I'd also recommend covering what happens if nanny is unable to go home/bf on a weekend, if this is in contract that they no longer live-in during the weekend fine but if not maybe something about access to kitchen etc if this is limited space, or about noise if coming in really late.

An info list is great for any nanny live in or out, numbers of children's schools, Drs, friends living locally who could help in a true emergency- this massively helped me as I was unable to contact a parent who was out of country so I contacted their friend who had the youngest while I took 3 year old to casualty with a head bump.

The best families I've worked for live-in have been those who allowed me to add food to their shop, cereal they don't have or whatever, and allow some use of nanny budget while eating out and about with the children. The worst one was one who didn't consider an extra adult in the family might just use more food than not so ordered exactly the same food they were used to so it was either a small bowl of terrible muesli or no breakfast or buy me own, and when out even if they told me to take the kids to a place where they ate like a softplay there was no budget for me so either sit eating nothing and have a sad brought from home sandwich alone after the children or buy my own in a place I'd never buy. Think SW London posh kid's places cafe prices.

By all means use written guidelines but don't be prescriptive and certainly don't include things that tell them how to do their job (I presume they are nannies because they know their stuff about childrearing already, probably more than you). A close friend would plan the children's schedule to a t and then complain why her kids weren't getting the same experience as mine got using the same nanny.

Have lived in at one job, and went for days at the other.
For living in unless you don't want time alone with your husband do you have a TV your nanny can have in her room, sometimes it;s ok to be one big happy family, but unless you all get on it can be hard.
My bosses used to like to cook, but she would meet her husband at the pub which was 1/2 mile away from house to have a quick evening drink before coming home to prepare the food, I would wash and dress the children so this was about 2 times a week, and it meant they got an hour date night.
Then I would go out 2 times in the week after he got home for a couple of hours. so they could have a family meal.
Yes to the Nanny and children food budget for outtings.
I had £20 for things money, so if the mum said do you want to get a meal out for you all we could, without her having to pay me back, she would just hand me another £10 and I used to chuck the change in a jar. Very useful for when we needed parking money.
A list of place you like to take the children is good as well, as sometimes you can get a bit stir crazy in someone elses house. Play groups in the area and such.
Are you expecting her to do any household chores?
If it's written down then she will know what you want her to do.