Is this a bit weird?

[Justgiveittome]

Forgive me for such a bizarre first thread! Maybe I'm still a bit delicate and overthinking this one. I had breast cancer last year and was treated by the most fabulous oncologist. Professional and kind and I was very grateful. She retired a few months before my treatment ended (about 6 months ago) and I sent her a gift to thank her and she called to say she'd received and wished me well.

I have joined (and paid a lot!) for a v fancy squash membership and notice that she is to be in my very small class for the next 15 weeks. Am I overthinking this or is it a bit too much and maybe I should cancel? What are your thoughts? Technically I'm not under her care anymore but nevertheless she helped to save my life and it might be a bit weird.

What makes you feel like you would be interrupting her private time? Why would you feel like that?

No one would think "oh fuck sake here's that patient who's life I saved. Why can't they leave me alone!" I can't imagine she'd ever feel entitled enough to be annoyed about someone she happens to know through her profession, being at the same class as her. No one thinks of scenarios in advance like that. At least I hope not.

Did she give the impression she would be like that?

OP "Like I said, I'm not about to start talking about it with her and would happily pretend I didn't even recognise her."

Personally, I would not pretend not to recognise her. I would smile and say hello and if she doesn't chat to you any further than other members of the group, she may not remember you. But I do think she will, probably.

I don't think she will think anything of it, and I think you'll soon have things to talk about other than how you met originally. So don;t feel nervous, if the group goes for coffee and she goes, and you want to, then go. Her professionalism will mean she doesn't speak about anything private in that group setting, I am sure.

I do think I'd feel nervous in your situation though. Unnecessarily so but still nervous or awkward for a moment none the less.

Thanks so much for your kind replies. She will def recognise me, being 29 I was something of an interest to the medical team - any BC patient under the age of 35 generates a bit of fascination in my experience. You're probably right, I'll be brief and polite but won't start asking her to analyse my check up results 😂

Freudian question: do you have a transference thing going on?
If so, you might need to think about what's going on there.
She'll probably be fine with you being there.
But... (and this is such a shit question and I apologise) are you having thoughts about her that you're a bit embarrassed about? If so, maybe there are issues for you to work on. Freud might suggest maternal issues, although I'm sure there could be other interpretations.
If I'm way off the mark, please feel free to ignore me.

Cardsforkittens - thanks. Nope, nothing like that, but can see why you ask having done a scoot through my previous posts. I think I just see her as quite inspiring and just don't want to overstep any mark. Was just taken aback to see her on the list. I've been out of normal social circles for quite some time and chose this place as it was a bit more 'anonymous' if that makes sense. I actually hadn't thought about her for many months (mercifully life has returned to a compforgable normality quicker than I thought it would). Like I said earlier, I don't know any Doctors so wasn't even sure I felt this kind of thing is permitted (i.e. Contact with patients). That sounds nuts but you get my drift. Ultimately I dont want to make her uncomfortable, she's entitled to her own life away from being a Dr which I imagine carries a lot of responsibility beyond the obvious obligations and well, she was at the class before me.

Comfortable not comforgable 😏

I don't think it's weird but I do see why you're questioning it. I would echo other posters and just follow her lead. She is used to be a doctor and all the starry-eyed stuff from other people that goes with it. I always think of doctors as minor celebs. I say this as someone who has had long term health problems which were primarily treated by one dr and I would feel similarly in your position. I don't think you're 'invading her privacy' by going (it's a free country!) but sweet of you to wonder

If you're worried that she will feel uncomfortable, I'm sure it won't be the first time she's bumped into a former patient and I suspect she won't have any problem with it all - she's retired now, after all, so it's not like she has any involvement in your treatment or ongoing check-ups etc. Just treat her like you would any other member of your class and I'm sure it will be absolutely fine.

Agree with above. Don't think of her as a superhero, she possibly prefers to be treated like everyone else's outside of work!

Fine in principle, as other posters commented above, you are free to do what you like at a public club and it isn't weird.

It might just be awkward if she doesn't recognise you - do you outright say you remember her or do you ignore it and then always feel like you are hiding your identity a bit? She may remember your full name for instance (I tend to remember names just not faces) and if you hadn't mentioned that you remember her before, that might seem odd.

Does that make sense?