To think I can't do much more?

[mistontheriver]

I have made such an effort with making friends since having DD1 3 years ago.

I have reguarly attended baby groups but find them hard to crack beyond the point of "hi, she is very cute, how old is she?" and so on. Also, many people there already seem to know one another.

I do volunteer work but it is, well, work - no time for socialising really!

I am a member of a gym but don't get to chat to anybody.

I tried attending church but felt uncomfortable with it.

I can't do much more, it feels, and I do have one friend but I am conscious I am very (over) reliant on her.

Does anyone else find this?

Ah yeah it's bloody difficult.

I (luckily) had a lot of friends on mat leave at the same time but I was mindful at groups to include women (and men) who were there by themselves. My friends are a lovely bunch and talk to anyone.

I hate the thought of anyone feeling crap at these classes because I've seen first hand some of the cliquey mothers.

I don't mean to make myself sound like a saint. I'm most certainly not but I despise people feeling ostracised and left out of things especially when motherhood can be a bit lonely at times

Totally empathise. I usually find it really easy to make friends but found breaking into Mum groups really hard - mainly because I had to go back to work quite early and all other mums in this leafy corner of England don't need to (or at least that's what it felt like). Every playgroup runs Mon to Fri during term time. I'm a teacher so didn't really help me to socialise! There's an App called Peanut which is basically tinder for finding mum friends. Might be worth a shot? Good luck. Xxxx

I'll have a look. It isn't exactly 'mum' friends I need, just friends

I had this problem after uni and what really changed it was going to the WI in my city. Loads of young women with varied interests to chat and befriend. Find one in your local area which attracts people of a similar age to you. It honestly changed my life.

Do you have anyone who can babysit regularly or a partner who is there in the evenings, so you can go off once a week and do something you really want to do? Joining an art group, book club, drama group or writing group would get you friends as these are activities where you chat informally a lot, and go beyond the polite small talk, whereas sports and choirs etc - any big group activity can take longer for friendships to emerge.
Can you take the initiative a bit? Ask one or two of the friendlier mums at baby groups if they fancy seeing a film/bringing their DC over for a play in the park and picnic tea etc? That way you may get a chance to get closer.

How about joining a weekly exercise class? I agree that the gym is a lonely place but I've met some nice friends through a weekly dance class I do (I'm rubbish but it's fun!). X

Have you heard of meetup? I don't know what type of area you live in (city/rural) but you can basically join meetup online, there are local meet up groups relating to whatever it is you fancy doing....there's loads of different things, walking groups, just meeting for drinks, meeting with kids, with dogs, you'd have to have a look and see what's going on in your area but they seem to cover pretty much everything!

www.meetup.com

It's hard. If you live in a big city there are more opportunities...if you are in an isolated, insular small town without much transport, it's more difficult. I've tried.

I have a few mum friends to group chat with about kids, but find it really hard to find anyone with shared interests to maintain any friendship with - just a drink out or an interesting conversation over a coffee about the wider world...

Maybe try a team sport like netball, hockey, football, martial arts.... those kind of things tend to be big on commradarie (sp!?!) and always keen to attract new members.

I started a meet up group at the start of the year and have quite a few new friends from it! We regularly have lunch, go for dinner, go to bingo / cinema / drinks etc. There are a lot in the group but I would say I've made 10 new friends I would feel more than comfortable seeing on a one to one basis and invite them to my house etc. That's more in 6 months than I've made in 10 years - some of us even have a girls holiday booked!!! Meet up is a great way to meet people, it might be a bit awkward the few few times but there are so many ppl in the same position so it's a very welcoming environment (I've found at least).

Yep the WI turned things round for me too. No friends from mum groups. I started a local evening crochet class and made 3 what i consider good friends and then joined the WI and now have a circle of a further 5 or 6 friends. When i joined the WI i would arrive early to help set up and got chatting and then volunteered to join the committee. Im now vice chair. Thoroughly recommend it